Free Republic

The Republican National Committee (RNC), along with the Georgia Republican Party and the Fulton County Republican Party, is suing Nadine Williams, Director of Fulton County Department of Registration & Elections for refusing to hire Republican poll watchers. Under Georgia law, election officials are required to ensure balanced representation from both parties at polling places. Williams scoffed at the lawsuit, saying "Ill hire whoever I please. Before this case can be heard the election will be over and the Democrats will have won. All the Republicans involved in this suit will prosecuted by the Fulton County District Attorney for attempting to...

HOUSTON, TX — As the world still celebrated the astonishing accomplishment of SpaceX catching its returning Starship, NASA officials were baffled at how Elon Musk managed to succeed without as many gay non-binary Muslim dwarfs of color as they have. SpaceX's historic achievement occurred despite not making diversity and inclusion its top priority, leaving NASA in awe that such a feat could be pulled off without the mandated involvement of underrepresented people groups. "Not a single transgender dwarf of color on the team! How does this guy do it?" one high-ranking NASA official marveled. "We devote all of our time...

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton went on CNN to make the case for giving government total control over information. "Right now, there are too many websites that allow users to post anything that's on their mind," she complained. "This is because federal law permits Internet platforms to pretend that they are, like the Post Office, just passing along communications without taking any responsibility for inspecting the content. It's bad enough that the Post Office passes along malicious and erroneous content, but it's limited to one recipient per envelope. A messaged placed on Facebook or X can reach millions in...

The emergence of a video in which Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer and podcaster Liz Plank appear to be simulating Holy Communion using a Dorito chip has drawn widespread criticism from Christians. That this mockery was followed by Plank asking Whitmer if she had ever considered a post-birth abortion for either of her two daughters made things worse. Not one to back down from a fight, Whitmer tried to cast the incident as "just harmless fun. Considering that the traditional Eucharist bread wafer is so tasteless and bland, I'd think churches might want to reconsider replacing it. Doritos are far more...

TUSCALOOSA, AL — Elders at First Bible Church of Tuscaloosa recently placed the church's head pastor Bob "Jimbo" James on leave after he gave a sermon without incorporating even one single college football analogy.According to congregants at First Bible, congregants became concerned when Pastor Jimbo began to approach the 30-minute mark of his sermon without having mentioned the comeback over South Carolina, Coach DeBoer, or even saying "Roll Tide.""Things were getting a bit edgy," said Marty Travis, a member of First Bible Church and Crimson Tide alumnus. "He had such an easy opportunity to say how the inseparable operations of...

This week, Vice-President Kamala Harris tried desperately to get the attention of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis regarding Hurricane Milton, calling him "utterly irresponsible and selfish" for not taking her call. "All I was trying to do was help coordinate his relief efforts." DeSantis said "we are already leveraging all available resources. I've been in contact with President Biden to coordinate state and federal efforts to mitigate damage and to rescue people stranded by the storm. I'm not sure how Vice-President Harris figures into this. Isn't she busy running for president right now?" Biden confirmed that "I have been communicating with...

With polls indicating that only 75% of Black men say they will vote for Kamala Harris, former President Barrack Obama hit the campaign trail to berate these men for "deserting the candidate of the Party that has your back. The welfare state is the creation of the Democratic Party. It's aborting your unwanted offspring and feeding, clothing, and housing the ones that make it to birth. It's Republicans who insist that everyone ought to pull their own weight. What can you be thinking? As President Biden so wisely said during his 2020 campaign 'if you're voting for Trump, you ain't...

In an effort to prove she could handle an unscripted interview Vice-President Kamala Harris appeared on a Univision town hall this week. In the midst of Kamala's efforts to dodge a voter's concerns that she became the Democrats' nominee without getting any primary votes, the camera swiveled to an angle showing the teleprompter the candidate was reading. Harris/Walz Campaign Chairwoman Jennifer O'Malley Dillon explained "using a teleprompter doesn't mean the interview was scripted. As we all saw, neither the voter nor Kamala had a script in their hands. The teleprompter simply allows the candidate's brain-trust to suggest possible answers for...

Former US Secretary of State John Kerry spoke against freedom of speech at a recent World Economic Forum (WEF) meeting, saying that "allowing individuals to freely post their thoughts on social media hampers the ability of government to build a consensus around a favored policy. It used to be that ill-informed nobodies had no way of spreading their ignorance. Editors of newspapers could weed out unacceptable viewpoints appearing in their 'letters to the editor' page. But now anyone can reach millions of readers by posting to the Internet." "Efforts to mute these unwanted opinions by having government agents intimidate the...

In Michigan, election clerks are barring partisan election observers from participating in the phase of the election process where mail-in ballots are checked to see if the person casting the ballot is registered to vote, when the ballot was received, and whether the signature is valid. Committee on House Administration, Chairman Bryan Steil, (R-Wis) has asked Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson "to communicate to the various clerk offices that partisan challengers are permitted to observe initial processing of mail-in ballots and signature verification." Benson insists that "partisan observers are only permitted to view the counting of ballots that have...

Four months ago Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas bragged that "the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is tremendously prepared. This is what we do, this is what they do, and the key here is to also make sure the communities who are potentially impacted are prepared as well." Well, Hurricane Helene has devastated huge swaths of the country's southeast. Over 200 people were killed. Towns and roads were washed away. Many survivors are cut off from water and electricity. Now, Mayorkas says "FEMA does not have the funds needed because $640 million was spent providing shelter for non-citizen migrants...

BUTLER, PA — Prominent Democrats recently came under fire for cruel insensitivity after they callously mocked an autistic African American jumping up and down for joy at a recent political rally. According to sources at the scene, the sweet, innocent little African-American autist, who is also an immigrant, was just exuberantly bouncing around for sheer happiness, prompting Democrats to mercilessly make fun of his heartwarming dance. "This sort of racist and ableist bigotry is completely unacceptable," said James Veti, who had attended the political rally and later saw Democrats doing their best to down the dear little jumper-for-joy. "Autistic African...

U.S. — Thousands of migrant farm workers have headed up to the northern United States in anticipation of Democrats' ballot harvesting season. "It's going to be a bumper crop," said Democrat strategist John Cain of Philadelphia. "So many ballots to harvest, and so few harvesters." According to farmworkers, the ballot harvesting operation dovetails nicely with the end of the busiest time for farms. "We're going to need all the harvesters we can get. Whether you've been picking corn, apples, or berries, it's time to make the switch to ballots," said Cain. "It's the easiest harvest you'll ever work. We've got...

This week, Iran launched 180 ballistic missiles at Israel. Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araqchi justified the attack, calling it "an act of self defense against Israel's attempted genocide of the Palestinian people. The Hamas attack of October 7, 2023 and the Hezbollah missile strikes are righteous retaliation for 75 years of illegal Zionist occupation of lands belonging to Palestine. We are not unmerciful. If Israel heeds the warning we sent and vacates the stolen lands the attacks on its civilians will cease." Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) mostly agreed with Iran's position, saying "while Iran's missile strikes were unacceptable, their proposed...

In an interview with Vice-President Kamala Harris' husband Doug Emhoff, former White House Press Secretary for President Biden and current MSNBC host Jen Psaki effused over "how your role has reshaped the perception of masculinity. I'm not sure you planned on that, but you are an incredibly supportive spouse. Has that been an evolution for you? Do you think that's part of the role you might play as First Gentleman?" Emhoff replied "I've said many times when we lift up women, we support women whether it's pay equity, childcare, family leave, and all of these issues in this post-Dobbs hellscape....

During a dinner date with an undercover reporter for the O'Keefe Media Group, MSNBC producer Basel Hamdan asserted that "MSNBC is doing all they can to help Harris get elected. Her message of the day is the network's message of the day. Our anchors and Democrat politicians are in total agreement about everything." Candidate for the US Senate Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) praised MSNBC's efforts, but said "it's not enough. Republicans are still free to promote their misinformation on Facebook, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, Google and others. The CEOs of these social media outlets need to take stronger measures to...

ASHEVILLE, NC — FEMA arrested Noah this week after they caught the prophet attempting to help rescue people afflicted by the floods. "This is an unapproved rescue operation and we will not tolerate such behavior," FEMA Spokesman Randy Tarwater told the press. "We apprehended Noah and his so-called ‘ark' attempting to save human and animal lives. That's not what FEMA represents." After Hurricane Helene annihilated entire communities, the Prophet Noah steered his ark into needy areas to help rescue stranded Americans. FEMA reportedly blocked the seer and told him his saving people was really getting in the way. "I tried...

Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) announced himself "pleased with the outcome of my vice-presidential candidate debate with Senator JD Vance (R-OH). I know some of the pundits figure he scored more points than I did, but I achieved my two key objectives." "First, I believe my humble admission that I am a 'knucklehead' forged a strong bond with the majority of male voters across the nation," Walz boasted. "Most of the guys I served with in the National Guard were knuckleheads. Almost every guy's wife thinks he is a knucklehead. I am solidly within the ranks of the vast majority of...

RALEIGH, NC — With civilians working hard to rescue their neighbors along the path of devastation left behind by Hurricane Helene and FEMA revealing a lack of available money, the state of North Carolina asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for $100 Billion in U.S. funding. Though President Biden approved North Carolina's request for federal disaster relief, uncertainty about the timetable for receiving funds amid various obstacles and bureaucratic red tape, the state's officials decided to go directly to the man with more U.S. taxpayer dollars than anyone else. "He's the man with the money," said North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper....

This past August, the National Toxicology Program, of the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), issued a report indicating that there seems to be a connection between higher levels of fluoride exposure and lower IQ in kids. Based on this, US District San Francisco Judge Edward Chen ordered the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) "to take steps to lower the potential risk." EPA spokesperson Jeff Landis asserted that "adding fluoride to the nation's drinking water was one of the greatest public health achievements of the last century. We doubt whether the few IQ points lost could outweigh all the cavities...