Free Republic

Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) has introduced an "Unhoused Persons Bill of Rights" legislation that would dramatically expand government spending for homeless people. "Homelessness is at record levels," she said. "We are morally obligated to do something about it." "Having access to a safe place to live is a human right," Tlaib claimed. "This means that it's the government's responsibility to provide it to the people who need it. Ideally, everyone would be given a real home equivalent to that enjoyed by the average American. However, that would require redirecting the entire annual $1.5 trillion military budget to build and maintain...

‘Star Wars’ Writer’s Scripted Hollywood Satire Podcast ‘See You in Hell’ Takes on AI in Timely New Episode“See You in Hell,” a new, independently-produced podcast satirizing Hollywood, has just dropped its third episode, and it’s all about Hollywood’s increasingly uncomfortable relationship with AI. Per a press release, “See You in Hell” is about “married showrunners Dan and Gayle Bellingham are the creators of ‘West Palm Beach,’ the biggest, buzziest hit show in modern TV history. But when an acrimonious divorce brings their collaboration to an abrupt end, Dan and Gayle embark on separate careers, each determined to prove to the...

Former Secretary of Health and Human Services Xavier Becerra (D) touted his experience and support for "single-payer" healthcare, claiming that "having the government in total control over how much healthcare each person gets will ensure equity and efficiency. No one would be denied care just because they can't afford it. No one would be allowed to purchase more care than the government thinks they need no matter how wealthy they are. I favor total equality." Former Rep. Katie Porter (D) asserted that "the key to keeping California residents safe is our sanctuary policy. The undocumented immigrants who have surged into...

Former President Barrack Obama went on "The Late Show" with Stephen Colbert and criticized "President Trump's lawfare-style investigations of those people he thinks wrongly prosecuted him. The White House shouldn't be able to direct the attorney general (AG) to go around prosecuting whoever the president wants. The AG needs to be politically neutral and make his own decisions about who to investigate." "What about when your AG Eric Holder described himself as 'the president's wing man?'" Colbert asked. "Well, you see that was Eric's characterization, not mine," Obama replied. "I never told him explicitly to investigate anyone. Occasionally, he would...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Donald Trump called an impromptu press conference in front of the White House this week to deliver a life-changing message to actor Mark Hamill, revealing that he was, in reality, the actor's father. The actor was reportedly reluctant to accept the invitation to appear at the press conference but sensed something deep within himself that made him feel compelled to be present. "Search your feelings, Mark, you know it to be true," Trump said while extending his hand toward Hamill. "George Lucas never told you what happened to your father." Hamill recoiled in fear, somehow knowing what...

RICHMOND, VA — In the wake of the Virginia Supreme Court striking down the commonwealth's redrawn voting map, Democrats proposed a new measure that just makes it illegal for Republicans to vote. In lieu of further political maneuvers to suppress Republicans from having Congressional representation, the Democratic Party said it had decided to address the root cause of the problem. "This is way easier," said Democratic Governor Abigail Spanberger. "We're tackling the real issue, which is Republicans being allowed to vote at all. There will be no more campaigning, no more counting ballots. That stuff is such a hassle anyway."...

MONTEREY PARK, CA — A heated debate between the candidates for governor of California descended into mayhem last night after Katie Porter dumped an entire pot of scalding mashed potatoes on the moderators' heads. Witnesses said the incident occurred roughly forty-three minutes into the debate when moderators attempted to ask Porter about repeated allegations of her abusing staff and family members. "You want to play that game with me?? Have a taste!" shouted Porter, producing an industrial-sized stock pot filled with boiling hot potatoes. "I'm going to melt those lips together so that you can never open your mouth...

Cole Allen, the man being held for an armed incursion into the White House Correspondents' Dinner, is demanding that he be released without bail, saying "I didn't shoot or hurt anyone. I know I wrote a manifesto saying that I wanted to shoot President Trump, but I didn't actually do it. At the last moment, as I was lying on the floor in handcuffs, I decided not to. All I might be guilty of is illegal trespassing or disorderly conduct. I represent no danger to the public." Former President Obama was impressed by Allen's logic, saying "his reasoning sounds both...

This week, the US Department of Justice obtained an indictment of David Morens, an aide to Dr. Anthony Fauci, former chief medical advisor for the Biden Administration, for destroying, altering, or falsifying of records in federal investigations; concealing, removing, or mutilating records, and aiding and abetting the misinforming of the American population on the origins of the COVID virus, the ineffectiveness of masks, social distancing, and the vaccines forced upon them. Former House COVID Subcommittee Chairman Brad Wenstrup (R-Ohio) said "the repercussions of these actions have caused significant damage to the public health system, and recovery may take considerable time...

The alleged justification for subsidizing someone's food intake is that the person would otherwise starve or be malnourished. People who receive this subsidy are notoriously fatter than average and strenuously oppose being denied spending the benefits on chips, soda, and candy, as these are considered "must have" items in their diet. With government being the provider, it is not unreasonable to insist on a better diet. Nor is it unreasonable for the government to expect able-bodied recipients to perform some work in order to qualify for benefits. For generations the expenditures on these types of subsidies have grown. The federal...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Elizabeth Warren was seen riding into town Monday morning bearing the scalp of her defeated enemy, Spirit Airlines. The senator from Massachusetts previously opposed a merger between JetBlue and Spirit Airlines, arguing that Spirit Airlines "made mockery of Great Spirit" and only its defeat would "bring'em return of buffalo." "Me no make'em deal with palefaces," Warren said at the time. "Call for anti-trust. Me anti-trust white man." At the time, others argued in favor of the merger, saying it would save thousands of jobs and enable the two budget airlines to join forces against the...

This week in a 6-3 ruling, the US Supreme Court struck down a race-based Congressional district map in Louisiana. Former Vice-President Kamala Harris sharply criticized the Court "for gutting the 1965 Voting Rights Act. The Louisiana gerrymander was crucial for ensuring the election of Black Democrats in at least two of the state's Congressional Districts." Justice Samuel Alito, writing for the majority, called the current Louisiana Congressional District map "an unconstitutional gerrymander. Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was designed to enforce the Constitution — not collide with it. Unfortunately, lower courts have sometimes applied this Court's...

Graham Platner, a man with a Nazi tattoo and current Democrat candidate for the US Senate in Maine, vows "if Democrats win a majority we will shut the White House down with incessant hearings requiring the presence and testimony of every person working for Trump. They won't have any time to do what Trump wants them to do. This November election is our opportunity to seize power and wield it to bring the benefits of collectivism to the people who are oppressed and deprived under capitalism." Platner has been endorsed by Sens. Bernie Sanders (Vt), Elizabeth Warren (Mass), Ruben Gallego...

Auckland company exec Doug Sinclair has generated a fair bit of buzz for his Instagram skills and his eye for talent. Sources have told our reporters that every time Instagram suggests a good-looking female influencer, Doug’s name seems to appear in the “followed by” section. “It’s beyond uncanny,” says one colleague of Doug’s. “He spends his days managing a modest team of 15 in central Auckland, but the second a model, dancer, cheerleader or fitness influencer posts anything, Doug’s there first, liking the post and almost always dropping a fire emoji in the comments.” The irony is Doug hasn’t had...

Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson laughed off what she termed "their futile effort to escape social justice. They think they will preserve their wealth and their income by relocating to states that respect private property and the so-called right to keep what they earn. At best, they will only temporarily spare themselves the retribution they so richly deserve." Wilson predicted "when Democrats sweep the November elections and achieve veto-proof majorities in Congress, the redistribution of wealth prescribed by Karl Marx in his "Communist Manifesto" of 1848 will go national. Everyone will be taxed based on the ability to pay. Everyone will...

Despite being urged by President Trump to do away with the filibuster, Senate Majority Leader John Thune (R-SD) is adamantly against doing it. "Look,' Trump said, "the filibuster is not a law. It is not in the Constitution. It is just a long standing tradition that helped Democrats resist efforts to end slavery. Right now it is being used to prevent efforts to reduce vote fraud. Neither of these purposes for which the filibuster has been or is being used is good for the country." Thune rebutted Trump's argument by pointing out "we Senators all respect each other. The filibuster...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Less than a week after yet another assassination attempt against President Donald Trump, leaders of the Democratic Party pushed back against claims that they are guilty of inciting violence and said anyone who thinks they are should be eliminated by any means necessary. Following accusations that their rhetoric stirred up supporters to commit violent acts against conservatives, prominent Democrats denied engaging in any incitement of political violence and stressed the importance of doing whatever is needed to take out anyone who thinks otherwise. "People who think we incite violence must be taken down," said House Minority Leader...

U.S. — The growing rift between the political right and left in the country became even more evident this week, as a new poll showed that a majority of Democrats believe the Lincoln assassination was staged. Though long held to be a historical fact, a plurality of Democratic voters went on record in a research study to confirm that they now suspect that President Abraham Lincoln was never actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, and that the entire incident was simply an elaborate hoax. "That whole situation was suspicious," lifelong Democrat Dean Stinson posted on social media. "Sure, the...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a devastating setback to the Democratic Party, the United States Supreme Court ruled today that they have to stop being racist. In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court ruled today that discriminating based on a person's skin color is, in fact, illegal. The verdict comes as a heavy blow to the Democratic Party, which has vowed to keep fighting for the right to be openly racist. The majority opinion, authored in unusually plain English, opens with the line, "Seriously, you guys can't keep doing that," before citing centuries of legal precedent and basic moral reasoning. "This...

With two-thirds of the printed copies of his book--"Young Man in a Hurry: A Memoir of Discovery"--remaining unsold, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D-Calif) claims he bought these copies "to ensure it would be a best-seller. My plan is to give autographed copies to everyone who donates to my presidential campaign. I think my sly and speedy action here demonstrates my ingenuity as leader and gives me an early lead for the 2028 Democratic nomination for president." "Another factor that will put me ahead of my Democrat rivals is that I was born a poor black child with a low IQ and...