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Mamdani Defends "Doxxing" Pied-à-Terre Property Owners [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 August 2026 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/01/2026 10:46:14 AM PDT by John Semmens

New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani defended publishing the names and addresses of the 30,000 property owners who will have to pay the Pied-à-Terre tax, saying "these people are not really residents of the city. They don't occupy these properties on a full-time basis. They are not eligible to vote in our city's elections. Their possession of these properties is for occasional visits. It's a luxury expenditure. In short, they don't really need these houses or condos. Those who are homeless have a right to know who is withholding homes that they need so they can take action to try to pry these properties away from the selfish rich."

The Mayor suggested that "the homeless could agitate for the city to confiscate these properties for redistribution to them. They could harass the owners and make themselves such a nuisance that the owners willingly abandon their ownership. Or they could simply move in while the owners are away and squat inside the residences making it difficult or impossible for the rich owners to evict them. Since these properties are in reality part of the surplus wealth of the owners, I have instructed our city attorneys to defend the rights of the homeless to seize this surplus wealth."

"Whether the homeless take action themselves or not, the city will proceed to levy annual taxes of 4% on condos worth $1 million to $3 million, 5.25% on condos worth $3 million to $5 million, and 6.5% on condos worth $5 million or more," the Mayor asserted. "These confiscatory levels of taxation will make continued possession of these surplus properties infeasible for all but the most wealthy. Most will be sold at steep discounts to actual city residents or be seized by the city for nonpayment of the tax."

"This is the kind of creative solution to our city's homeless problem that only democratic socialism can provide," Mamdani boasted. "Wealth will be redistributed from those who have it to those who need it. The rich will be made a little poorer. The poor will be made a little richer. We will be a step closer to the equality envisioned by Karl Marx in his Communist Manifesto. Voters in New York and throughout the nation will see the benefits of collectivism and elect more of us to office in the years to come."

In related news, Democratic Socialists of America Co-Chair Megan Romer appeared on "Fox News Sunday" and promised to "eliminate the US Senate. Replace the President and Supreme Court with bodies chosen by and subordinate to Congress. Abolish police and prisons. Grant amnesty to all illegal immigrants. Government confiscation, ownership, and operation of all major corporations. This is the platform that is winning us votes all around the nation. The masses are tired of being tyrannized by the laws of supply and demand. They want the equality and sharing that only socialism can deliver."


TOPICS: Government; History; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: equality; marx; satire; socialism
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1 posted on 08/01/2026 10:46:14 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
...seize this surplus wealth...

W. T. F.

2 posted on 08/01/2026 10:58:09 AM PDT by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump )
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To: John Semmens

Besides painting a bullseye in those property owners, it seems like they are trying to encourage squaters to come take over these properties.


3 posted on 08/01/2026 11:03:46 AM PDT by Sparticus
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To: John Semmens

If someone posted his parents’ address, how long before he’d send the NYPD to arrest them?


4 posted on 08/01/2026 11:17:40 AM PDT by Vesuvian
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