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Keyword: postandrun

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  • Democrats Assail Cuts to SNAP [semi-satire]

    06/14/2025 9:46:22 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 June 2025 | John Semmens
    House Agriculture Committee Chair Glenn Thompson (R-Penn) defended the proposed cuts to the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), saying "SNAP was never intended to be the entitlement welfare that Democrats have turned it into. Our Bill is putting it back on course by implementing 20 hours per week work requirements for able-bodied adults between the ages of 18 and 64 years old, excluding candy, snacks, junk food, and soda from being eligible for SNAP purchases, booting illegal migrants from the benefit rolls and shifting 5% of the cost burden of the program from the federal government to the states." "How...
  • AI Mishap Embarrasses Kamala [semi-satire]

    06/15/2025 9:31:22 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 June 2025 | John Semmens
    This week, a statement announcing former Vice-President Kamala Harris' decision not to run for California governor turned out to be fake. The initial posting of the announcement created quite a stir, but Harris' spokesperson Kristen Allen moved quickly to intervene before it could gain much traction. Allen expressed surprise that "the formerly reliable AI that we have been using to generate content for Kamala to help keep her in the news apparently went rogue with a post we had not previously seen or approved. The triggering event appears to have been Kamala's recent characterization of the recent riots in Los...
  • Trump Touts Latest Jobs Report [semi-satire]

    06/16/2025 10:50:44 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 June 2025 | John Semmens
    For the third month in a row, the economy added more jobs than experts predicted. In contrast to the jobs touted by Democrats during the Biden years, 99.8% of the new jobs were in the private sector. Native-born Americans have gotten all the net new jobs since January. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt said "President Trump's America First Economic Agenda has created a BOOMING economy — jobs are up, unemployment is down, wages are increasing, and inflation is dead. Americans should continue to trust in President Trump, who continues to beat expectations." The added jobs have been accompanied by...
  • Who's the "Most Oppressed" Democrat [semi-satire]

    06/21/2025 6:52:36 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens
    Seeing that Democrats are out-of-sync with what most voters want for the country, some of them are turning toward a strategy aimed at maximizing the number of sympathy votes they can get by instigating confrontations that result in them clashing with law-enforcement. Sen. Alex Padilla (Calif) made his pitch for "most oppressed" by describing how he was treated at the press conference of Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem in Los Angeles. "I had serious questions that I wanted answered," Padilla said. "Why was Los Angeles singled out for ICE raids? Why did Trump illegally seize control over the California...
  • Fake Ads to Win Young Male Votes for Dems [semi-satire]

    06/22/2025 9:12:39 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens
    The Progress Action Fund, a political action organization founded by Joe Jacobson, is creating a series of fictional ads focusing on the issues it believes will win back the young male voters who helped elect Trump in 2024. These ads feature a white-haired Republican Congressman who supports policies against casual sex, abortion, and illegal aliens. The latest ad features a young couple--a blonde man and a brunette woman--after a day out together. The man says "I had a really good time today." The woman replies "I did to." Masked ICE agents appear and drag the woman away. At this point...
  • Welfare Waste in Massachusetts [semi-satire]

    06/23/2025 8:34:38 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens
    The State of Massachusetts' "emergency shelter" program spends around $180,000 per family per year on shelter, food, education, legal aid, and case management. The median household income per family per year in the state is around $100,000. Asked why the cost of sustaining families on welfare is so much higher than what working families have to live on Gov. Maura Healey (D) explained "working families have to make their own decisions on where to live and what to eat. They don't need government workers to make these decisions for them. So they don't have case managers. The majority of the...
  • Law Against Mutilating Minors Upheld [semi-satire]

    06/24/2025 5:37:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens
    This week the US Supreme Court ruled 6-3 that a Tennessee law prohibiting surgical mutilation and chemical castration of minors is not unconstitutional. The ruling parallels the Court's 2022 decision recognizing that states have the authority to determine for themselves whether abortion is or isn't permissible within their jurisdiction. Justice Sonia Sotomayor dissented, saying that "the majority's view that questions about such medical treatments should be resolved by the people, their elected representatives and the democratic process tramples the individual's right to choose his or her own sex and goes against the consensus of the experts who have testified against...
  • Reconciliation Bill Cuts Planned Parenthood Subsidy [semi-satire]

    06/25/2025 9:19:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens
    Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) sharply criticized Republicans for removing federal subsidies for Planned Parenthood from the reconciliation bill, saying "they want to rip away health care from millions more Americans. Without these subsidies up to 200 Planned Parenthood centers could close. More than 90% of these closures would be in states where abortion is legal for the voters of the state." Sen. Patty Murray (D-Wash) said "there is not a day that ends in 'y' where Republicans are not trying to ban abortion here in Congress. We are talking about women left with no options for the care...
  • Iran Declares Victory [semi-satire]

    06/28/2025 1:36:46 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    In an address to Iranian citizens Ayatollah Ali Khamenei told them that "we have repelled the aggressors who treacherously tried to take our land from us. Though many of our heroic military leaders lost their lives in the conflict the nation as a whole has survived the bombings. I have successfully eluded assassination." "Our victory was achieved in only 12 days," he added. "The Zionist little Satan hit us with everything they had, but was forced to retreat without accomplishing their goal of dislodging me from my post or causing our people to lose faith in the eventual triumph of...
  • Parliamentarian Blocks Spending Cuts [semi-satire]

    06/28/2025 10:32:49 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    This week, Senate Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough ruled that the Big Beautiful Bill (BBB) "cannot cut Medicaid funding for sex changes or illegal immigrants. The eligibility of these two categories is a policy decision made by a previous president and a previous congress and cannot be changed by a simple majority vote on this reconciliation bill." Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala) asserted "the 'woke' Senate Parliamentarian, who was appointed by Harry Reid ten years ago, just struck down a provision banning illegals from stealing Medicaid from American citizens. The Parliamentarian 'advises.' She does not 'rule.' Reducing the amounts spent is germane to...
  • Gangs Urged to Defend Turf from ICE [semi-satire]

    06/29/2025 11:01:01 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    Concerned that "ICE enforcement efforts to arrest illegal immigrants are taking over our streets," Vice-Mayor Cynthia Gonzalez of Cudahy--a suburb of Los Angeles--urged members of two local gangs Florencia 13 and 18th Street "to defend our turf from these uninvited invaders who are terrorizing Latinos." The Los Angeles Police Protective League, a union representing thousands of police officers, condemned the Vice-Mayor's remarks, saying "what Ms. Gonzalez urged and taunted these specific gangs to do in her social media post puts police officers and other law enforcement professionals at greater risk. These two gangs have murdered police officers. Her actions are...
  • Face Masks Made Optional [semi-satire]

    07/01/2025 5:49:14 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    The Democratic Socialists of America (DSA) has decided that face masks will be strongly encouraged rather than required for their August 2025 national convention. This slight move to allow a small bit of individual choice was harshly condemned by the Democratic Socialists of Maine (DSM). "The National Political Committee's decision to make masking optional, despite years of advocacy from DSA's Disability Working Group puts members at risk, and has already had an impact on our delegation," said a name-witheld-on-request spokesperson for DSM. "COVID is still a threat to the working class in 2025, and to deny this would be a...
  • Rent Moratorium for Illegals Suggested [semi-satire]

    06/30/2025 10:19:25 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass said "the ICE raids are scaring immigrants from going to their jobs to earn the income they need to pay their rent. Everyone I talk to says that as long as ICE is here we need another rent moratorium to prevent these folks from being evicted." Kenia Alcocer, representative of the Los Angeles Tenants Union and an illegal alien herself, says "we know that many immigrants will not be able to pay their rent come July 1. Without a rent moratorium landlords will be able to kick us out of our homes. We had a...
  • Muslim Socialist Wins Democrat Primary for NYC Mayor [semi-satire]

    07/02/2025 10:29:04 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    Though former Governor Andrew Cuomo entered the Democrat primary for Mayor of New York City as the favorite, the less well known State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani came out on top. His campaign promises included globalizing the intifada, budgeting $65 million for transgender medical care, replacing police with social workers to combat crime, and funding government grocery stores so free food can be provided to fight hunger. Sen Kirsten Gillibrand asserted that "New York City is home to the largest Jewish population in the country. If a democratic socialist is serious about governing here he must openly denounce globalizing the intifada...
  • RFK and Congressman Wrangle Over Vaccines [semi-satire]

    07/03/2025 9:19:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens
    At a House Energy and Commerce Subcommittee on Health hearing Secretary of Health & Human Services Robert F Kennedy jr and Rep. Frank Pallone (D-NJ) locked horns over the issue of vaccine safety. It started with Pallone impugning Kennedy's approach to vaccines, saying "you've fired the entire Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) without input from the dedicated medical experts who support the work that this committee has done to try to keep Americans healthy. You yourself have consistently sided with the conspiracy nuts who oppose the vaccines this committee has mandated every child be given before being allowed to...
  • Biden Slams "Reckless" & "Cruel" BBB [semi-satire]

    07/05/2025 11:02:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 July 2025 | John Semmens
    The enactment of President Trump's Big, Beautiful Bill (BBB) earned sharp criticism from former President Joe Biden who lamented "all the damn hard work I did will be undone. Trump and his congressional lackeys have doomed the future I had envisioned for America. This is not only reckless — it's cruel." "First and worst, it funds an effort to deport the millions of folks I invited to come to America during my presidency," Biden complained. "We need more immigrants to produce the children that natural born citizens refuse to birth. As we saw when I was president these newcomers stimulated...
  • Mamdani Giddy Over Election Victory [semi-satire]

    07/04/2025 10:51:41 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 July 2025 | John Semmens
    Self-proclaimed socialist Zohran Mamdani expressed "surprise and relief that the socialist takeover of the government of New York City was so easy. Lenin and Mao had to fight years of bloody warfare before they achieved complete control of their countries. Last week, the plurality of votes I got in a low-turnout primary election opened the way for a true socialist revolution in the most important city of America. Hitler had a similarly easy ascension to power when a plurality of voters enabled him to become Chancellor of Germany in 1933. Hitler used his victory for evil purposes. I will use...
  • Iran Strikes Back [semi-satire]

    07/07/2025 10:31:18 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 July 2025 | John Semmens
    After thoroughly demonstrating its impotence against the Israeli Air Force and the US precision strike on its nuclear facilities, Iran is pursuing several divergent strategies for restoring its prestige as a force to be feared. First, Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi has written a letter to the United Nations demanding that the UN "impose reparations for the damage caused by the unprovoked and unwarranted airstrikes on our country by the Little Satan and the Great Satan. The Security Council is obligated to hold the aggressors accountable and recognize the targeted attacks on Iran as heinous and serious crimes. They must...
  • Justice Demands Pay Raise [semi-satire]

    07/12/2025 1:17:32 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 July 2025 | John Semmens
    Statistics showing that Associate Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown-Jackson has spoken more words than any other Supreme Court Justice since she joined the Court in 2022 has inspired her to demand a pay raise. "Data compiled by the New York Times show me far ahead of the others," she said. "I have spoken more than twice as many words (11,003) as second place finisher Amy Coney Barrett (4,475), more than three times as many as Chief Justice John Roberts (3,469), and more than 100 times as many as Clarence Thomas. Yet, I am still the lowest paid member of the...
  • "Big Tent" Strategy Explained [semi-satire]

    07/13/2025 10:55:07 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 July 2025 | John Semmens
    Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chair Ken Martin attempted to rebuff criticism of its welcoming attitude toward antisemitism by explaining "look, the Democratic Party has been the most successful political organization in America's history. The reason why it has been is that it has always had a 'big tent' philosophy of tolerance for diverse viewpoints. Some of those viewpoints--like support of slavery--are no longer legal. But others, like antisemitism are merely controversial. Those having such views are entitled to participate in the democratic process of voting for candidates who best represent their views." PBS News Hour, host Amna Nawaz asked Martin...