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Keyword: postandrun

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  • NY Times Poll Finds Voters Favor Trump's Policies Over Biden's [semi-satire]

    03/14/2024 10:31:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 March 2024 | John Semmens
    A recent New York Times/Sienna College poll showed that Trump's policies were favored by 40% of voters, who said the policies had helped them personally, compared with only 18% who said the same about Biden's policies. Additionally, 43% of voters said that Biden's policies had hurt them, almost double the percentage who said the same about Trump's policies. Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del) brushed aside these findings "because Democrats seem to have out-performed polls pretty consistently over the past few cycles in 2018, 2020, and 2022. There's no reason to expect this to change no matter how many polls show voters...
  • Trump Ordered to Pay Man Who Libeled Him [semi-satire]

    03/09/2024 10:01:05 AM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 March 2024 | John Semmens
    British High Court Judge Dame Karen Margaret Steyn ruled that former President Donald Trump's suit for damages against Orbis Business Intelligence, a consultancy founded by former MI6 officer Christopher Steele, was "likely to fail" and that "Trump is liable for the entire amount of Orbis' legal expenses." She ordered Trump to pay £300,000 as a down payment before the total costs are decided by a specialist judge. Orbis has estimated that its costs to defend against Trump's suit exceed £600,000. The dossier prepared by Steele for Hilary Clinton's unsuccessful 2016 campaign for president falsely accused Trump of engaging in sex...
  • Biden Doesn't Need Cognitive Test [semi-satire]

    03/03/2024 10:31:08 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that "unlike his predecessor, President Biden doesn't need a doctor to administer a cognitive test to prove his fitness to serve because he proves it everyday he is on the job. He goes where he needs to go. He does what he needs to do. He says what he needs to say. What more can anyone want of him?" "Look, we already had a head-to-head contest with Trump in 2020 and Biden decisively beat him," she reminded. "At this point, it is Trump who needs to prove he's fit. From what we've seen so...
  • Ukraine Postpones Election [semi-satire]

    02/26/2024 8:09:49 AM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    The 2024 presidential elections in Ukraine originally scheduled for March 31, 2024 have been postponed. The emergence of a candidate who opposes current President Zelensky's policies inspired the decision. That candidate is former Zelensky adviser Oleksiy Arestovych. He promises to negotiate a peaceful settlement with Russia. Ukraine's National Police force has commenced a criminal investigation of Arestovych. While the postponement of the election would seem to contradict the contention that Ukraine is a democracy battling against an autocratic Russian adversary, advocates for carrying on with the war insist that the fight must go on. Both Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer...
  • Biden Boasts "Court Can't Stop Me" [semi-satire]

    02/23/2024 11:11:22 PM PST · by John Semmens · 22 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 25 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    Despite a Supreme Court decision declaring that a president lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive student debt, a chipper Biden boasted "the Court can't stop me. I sign the papers and $138 billion in debts don't have to be repaid. It's as simple as that. Judges have no troops or police officers to arrest me. Democrats in Congress will prevent the Republicans from impeaching me." Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre explained that "sterile adherence to out-dated notions of a balance of power between the three branches of government must not be allowed to thwart the President from ending the suffering of...
  • Trump Threatens NATO [semi-satire]

    02/20/2024 8:36:47 AM PST · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg is complaining that "former President Donald Trump's statement that he wouldn't help defend members of NATO who refuse to pay their fair share for their own defense undermines our security. This is a complete reversal of what the US did when Franklin Roosevelt was president in the 1940s. He told the American people that he was lending us money and equipment to fight the Nazis, but the US never made us pay them back. On top of this the US did send troops after Hitler declared war on them." "Currently, President...
  • "Christians Have No Business Being in Politics" [semi-satire]

    02/18/2024 9:54:30 AM PST · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    This week, actor and Bible expert Rob Reiner claimed that "Christians have no business being in politics. It goes against the teachings of Jesus. First of all, Jesus commanded his followers to render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. This command came in answer to whether his followers should pay taxes. He pointed out that it was Caesar's image on the coins needed to pay taxes. Money in America has pictures of dead former presidents. Clearly it belongs to the government that generously allows people to temporarily use it. Christians who agitate or vote for tax cuts are simply out of...
  • Yellen Defends Spying on MAGA [semi-satire]

    02/11/2024 9:38:32 AM PST · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    Treasury Department investigators in its Financial Crimes Enforcement Network (FinCEN) demanded that banks scour customer transactions for key terms like MAGA and Trump. During a Senate Banking Committee hearing Sen. Tim Scott (R-SC) said "FinCEN was created to stop money laundering, not spy on Americans. Why would they be targeting Republicans' purchases at Cabela's, Dick's Sporting Goods and Bass Pro Shops?" "Senator, you are forgetting that President Biden has declared that Trump and MAGA are enemies of democracy," Yellen replied. "The President's assessment was the logical inference from Trump's incitement of his MAGA followers to seize power after his defeat...
  • "Maybe These Voters Aren't Dead" [semi-satire]

    02/10/2024 11:14:34 AM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    The Public Interest Legal Foundation's (PILF) efforts to fight election fraud in Michigan are being fiercely resisted by Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson (D). PILF Communications Director Lauren Bis said "there are more than 17,000 registered voters in the state who have been dead for more than a decade. Their names should have been purged from the voter rolls." Benson asserts that "there is no need for the type of intrusive intervention PILF is seeking. Deceased persons will eventually be excised from the list when it is clear that they are dead. The obituaries and grave stones PILF has cited...
  • No Charges for Mishandling Classified Docs [semi-satire]

    02/09/2024 9:34:20 PM PST · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    Special Counsel Robert Hur completed his year-long investigation of President Biden's mishandling of secret documents. His conclusion was that "Biden willfully retained these materials, stored them in an unsecured manner, and illegally shared them with his ghostwriter." Hur declined to recommend prosecution "because the President presented himself to us as a sympathetic, well-meaning elderly man with a poor memory. It's my belief that a jury would be unlikely to convict him because of his mental incompetence." In an effort to rebut Hur's findings, Biden called a press conference where he claimed "my memory is fine. Take a look at what...
  • COVID Vaccine: More Harm than Help [semi-satire]

    02/07/2024 10:01:16 AM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Feb 2024 | John Semmens
    A newly published research paper "COVID-19 mRNA Vaccines: Lessons Learned from the Registrational Trials and Global Vaccination Campaign" in the Cureus Journal of Medical Science debunks virtually everything that Dr. Anthony Fauci, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA), the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), and World Health Organization (WHO) maintained concerning the safety and effectiveness of these vaccines. The authors wrote "evaluation of the Pfizer trial data showed that their vaccine induced significant increases in serious adverse events (SAEs) in the vaccine group compared to the placebo group. These SAEs including death, cancer, cardiac events, and various autoimmune,...
  • Farming Is Wrecking the Climate [semi-satire]

    01/30/2024 10:14:01 AM PST · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 January 2024 | John Semmens
    Special Presidential Envoy for Climate John Kerry gave a speech at the World Economic Forum calling for "an end to farming. Once we can inform people that agriculture contributes about 33% of all the CO2 emissions of the world we may be able to get the widespread support we need to eliminate this major source of climate change. In our modern world very few people buy their food from farmers. Most of them get their food from supermarkets. I, myself, get most of my food from restaurants and official banquets like the one we're all having here today. So, farming...
  • 65% of Voters Say US Being Invaded [semi-satire]

    01/15/2024 8:46:32 AM PST · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 January 2024 | John Semmens
    The latest Rasmussen Reports survey shows that 65% of voters said the situation at our southern border is an "invasion" from Mexico. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tx) took aim at Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, saying "it's not that Mayorkas is bad at his job. It's that he is openly defying federal law. He is not trying to secure the border. He is instead trying to accelerate illegal immigration. He should be impeached." Rep. Yvette Clarke (D-NY) opposes impeachment "because Secretary Mayorkas is only doing what he must to try to ensure that the MAGA extremists don't seize power in...
  • Heart Injuries from Covid Vaccines Higher than Thought [semi-satire]

    08/02/2023 9:59:01 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 July 2023 | John Semmens
    A study done in Basel Switzerland indicates that the rate of myocarditis after the COVID vaccine is not as rare as claimed by the vaccine's manufacturers. Among the 777 study participants with a median age of 37--all medical professionals getting the COVID vaccine–the incidence of elevated cardiac enzymes 3 days after injection was a pretty substantial 3%. This is 3000 times higher than the CDC's claimed 0.001%. This study suggests that the CDC, FDA, and NIAID have been deceptive about vaccine safety. Dr. Anthony Fauci has defended this deception as "the lesser of evils. Given the threat of a massive...
  • Blacks Under Attack [semi-satire]

    07/29/2023 5:10:33 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 July 2023 | John Semmens
    This week, members of the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) held a press conference to highlight how Blacks are under assault in America. Examples cited by CBC Chairman Rep. Steven Horsford (D-Nev) included "Alabama's refusal to create a second majority-Black congressional district and Florida's new education guidelines requiring that students be told of the valuable work skills Blacks learned as slaves." "It isn't only state level Republicans who are to blame," Horsford complained. "Rep. Eli Crane (R-Ariz) used the words 'colored people' to refer to Blacks and Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala) says it's okay for white nationalists to serve in the...
  • Gov Touts Satanic Temple for Abortions [semi-satire]

    07/29/2023 11:24:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 July 2023 | John Semmens
    In New Mexico, a taxpayer funded hotline is referring women to Satanic Temple Health (STH) for abortions. Gov. Lujan-Grisham (D) defended this arrangement, calling it "synergistic. One of the unusual difficulties in securing the abortions many women need for their reproductive health is the aversion some medical professionals have to performing the procedure since, in their opinion, it involves the taking of a human life. Rather than become ensnarled in a fruitless debate over this topic, why not cooperate with an organization that considers abortion a sacred right?" "There is no risk that any of the personnel at STH will...
  • NYC Sues Upstate Counties [semi-satire]

    06/13/2023 10:09:06 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 June 2023 | John Semmens
    New York City Mayor Eric Adams is suing 30 New York counties for what he alleges is their "xenophobic bigotry" for refusing to accept the illegal immigrants he wants to bus into their jurisdictions. "New York City has—virtually on its own—stepped up to provide shelter, food, clothing, and other services to these asylum seekers. We are doing our part and will continue to do our part, but we need every locality across the state to do their part as well," Adams said. Rockland County official Ed Day rejected Adams' argument and pointed out "it is Mayor Adams who wants his...
  • Comey Calls Trump "Existential Threat" [semi-satire]

    06/14/2023 10:29:34 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 19 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 June 2023 | John Semmens
    Former FBI Director James Comey called polls showing former President Trump beating current President Biden in a 2024 election rematch "extremely troubling. As everyone knows, I have dedicated the last eight years of my life to thwarting the evil schemes of this man. I launched the 'Crossfire Hurricane' effort to try to prevent his election in 2016. When that failed, I worked to undermine his agenda in anyway I could. Even after I was fired, friends inside the DOJ leaked confidential information that I passed on to the media." "It was the happiest day of my life when Trump lost...
  • Long Withheld FBI Document Shows Bribe [semi-satire]

    06/15/2023 10:56:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 June 2023 | John Semmens
    The FD 1023 document that FBI Director Christopher Wray finally forwarded to Congress under threat of being held in contempt shows that in 2016 Burisma, a Ukranian company, paid Joe and Hunter Biden $5 million each to exert their influence to get Ukrainian Prosecutor General Viktor Shokin, who was investigating Burisma, fired. Shokin was fired--an outcome that Joe Biden has gleefully boasted about on several occasions since then. After viewing the FD 1023, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga) said "President Biden took a bribe from a from a foreign country. Bribery is one of the specific crimes that the Constitution...
  • Biden Bribery Scandal Grows [semi-satire]

    06/17/2023 2:04:49 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 18 June 2023 | John Semmens
    Last week the scope of the bribe totaled $10 million split between Hunter and Joe Biden. This week, House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer (R-Ken) said he "expects the total amount of bribes collected from foreign nationals by the Biden family will amount to more than $20 million. Recipients of this dirty money, in addition to President Biden and his son Hunter, include the President's brother James, James' wife Sara, the widow of the president's late son Beau's wife Hallie, and Hunter's current wife, Melissa. The most disturbing aspect of this scandal is that the FBI has had evidence of...