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Keyword: postandrun

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  • Hogg Bested in Debate [semi-satire]

    04/16/2024 10:41:07 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Already under fire for misspending most of the money donated to the March for Our Lives PAC he co-founded, gun control activist David Hogg was unable to make a coherent response to Lily Tang Williams' criticisms of his gun-control efforts. Ms. Williams immigrated from China, became a US citizen and is now running for Congress in New Hampshire. "You say no one should have the right to own a gun," Ms Williams said. "Well, in China, no private citizen is allowed to have guns. No one has an effective self-defense against government tyranny. The communist government murdered millions of its...
  • Trump's Position on Abortion Slammed [semi-satire]

    04/15/2024 11:11:23 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    This week former President Donald Trump announced that "my position on abortion is that we should follow the Supreme Court's ruling that the Tenth Amendment to the US Constitution leaves the power to determine whether abortions are legal up to the states. Given the strongly held differences on this issue, it is obvious that there is no consensus among voters. Under these circumstances, the best resolution is to use the 'laboratory of democracy' created by our federal system to try out different approaches in different states." The New York Times complained that "Trump chose politics over principles. Every enlightened thinker...
  • Mayorkas Defends Biden Border Policy semi-satire]

    04/14/2024 4:37:34 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    With a potential impeachment trial in the US Senate looming, Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas sparred with Senators in a budget hearing over his alleged mishandling of border security. Sen. John Kennedy (R-La) pointed out that "a recent Rasmussen survey shows that 57% of likely voters and 68% of Hispanics believe President Biden is importing migrants to the US to create a permanent Democrat majority. Are they wrong?" The Secretary scoffed, saying "the notion that we intend to allow illegal immigration is nothing short of preposterous. We are simply overwhelmed by the massive numbers of migrants seeking...
  • Yellen Wants Level Playing Field [semi-satire]

    04/06/2024 3:04:21 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Noting that Tesla has discontinued its efforts to produce a low cost electric vehicle (EV) because it can't get its costs down as low as its Chinese competitors, US Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen urged that "we look into leveling the playing field. Right now China has the advantage of lower labor costs. The captive Uyghurs are virtually slaves working for food and lodging. We currently have no counterpart. But we could pull ahead if we could turn a sufficient number of our domestic enemies of democracy into prison laborers and use them to help lower the cost of producing EVs...
  • Biden Loses Re-Endorsement [semi-satire]

    04/07/2024 12:01:00 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    During the 2020 presidential election campaign Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson was persuaded to endorse Joe Biden. "I thought back then that I should use my influence to do something that would help unite the country. Part of being human is learning from your mistakes. So, I am not going to repeat that endorsement." Johnson elaborated "am I happy with the state of America right now? Well, that answer's no. Do I believe we are going to get better? I believe in that. I'm an optimistic guy and I believe we can get better. In today's easy cancel culture world —...
  • Hospital Fights "Structural Racism" [semi-satire]

    04/08/2024 9:51:56 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    The Mass General Brigham Hospital in Boston, Massachusetts discovered that its policy of reporting cases of Substance Use Disorder (SUD) to public authorities was disproportionately affecting Black individuals. Sarah Wakeman, MD, senior medical director for SUD at Mass General Brigham Hospital, observed "we don't fully understand why SUD is more prevalent among Blacks. Regardless of whether the pathogen for this disease comes from the wild or some bioweapons lab, the racially disparate effects are concerning. Do non-Blacks have some sort of inborn immunity? Or are there environmental influences that could be responsible?" "While we explicitly reject the idea that sufferers...
  • California's $20 Minimum Wage Costing Jobs [semi-satire]

    04/08/2024 4:16:57 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Democrats' belief that raising the minimum wage for fast food employers would benefit them is being undermined by businesses closing down and/or laying off portions of their labor force. Loren Wright, owner of a Fosters Freeze franchise in Lemoore, said "my employees told me they'd rather have a job at the old wage than be laid off, but the new law doesn't give us that option. Gov. Newsom's restaurant does have that option." Newsom hastened to point out that "I'm only one of the owners of the PlumpJack Cafe. The law exempted this kind of restaurant from the required minimum...
  • Jill Says Joe Will Win Reelection [semi-satire]

    04/09/2024 10:36:00 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    In an interview on "CBS Mornings," First Lady Jill Biden dismissed polls showing her husband losing to Trump because "the polls do not account for the millions of ballots we already have in storage. This is the strategy that worked for us in 2020 and it will work again." She also pointed out that "new voter registrations are significantly out-pacing population totals in many states. Federal law forbids states from requiring people to prove they are citizens before registering them to vote. All they are allowed to do is ask if they are. If the applicant says yes the state...
  • Citizens Find Lots of Election "Irregularities" [semi-satire]

    04/10/2024 11:36:42 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    In New York, Marly Hornik teamed up with election and cybersecurity expert Harry Haury to form the New York Citizens Audit to investigate their state's 2022 voter roll data. They found 1,467,399 illegal duplicate registrations with 449,856 votes cast, 16,623 votes cast by voters with a blank address, and 35,312 more votes counted than voters who voted. "It was clear to me that the premise that our elections are honest and accurate is not substantiated," Hornik said. "So we founded a nationwide group, United Sovereign Americans (USA), to share our expertise with over 25 state groups to help them investigate...
  • Next Pandemic 100 Times Worse than COVID [semi-satire]

    04/11/2024 10:51:59 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 14 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre said "the President has been briefed by scientific experts who warn that the H5N1 strain of bird flu could have a 50% fatality rate. That means it would kill half the people who catch the disease, which they tell us will be almost everyone. Since the fatality rate for COVID turned out to be only one half of a percent, the bird flu would kill 100 times as many people as COVID did." "The CDC is working on the measures that will be needed to limit the damage," Jean-Pierre assured an incredulous press corps. "This...
  • Mourning the Passing of OJ Simpson [semi-satire]

    04/13/2024 2:57:53 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    This week, former football star, accused murderer, and convicted armed robber OJ Simpson died of cancer. White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre expressed condolences saying "our thoughts are with his family during this difficult time. In many ways, he led a tragic life. On the one hand, there were the glories of his achievements on the football field and in the movies he starred in. On the other, there was the tragic murder of his wife Nicole. He was left as a single father of his two young children after a jury found him not guilty of murdering their mother."...
  • "Death to America" Called "Legitimate Viewpoint" [semi-satire]

    04/13/2024 12:38:36 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    At an anti-Israel demonstration in Dearborn, Michigan, Tarek Bazzi led the crowd in chants of "death to America." When Fox reporter Hillary Vaughn asked Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Mich) about this the Congresswoman called the chant "a legitimate viewpoint. If my constituents feel this way it is my duty to honestly represent their views in Congress." "The whole world knows that Israel is the instigator of most of the world's problems," she added. "The October 7 attack was a justified response to these instigations. Israel has been illegally occupying Palestinian lands since 1948. Any actions taken to try to persuade the...
  • Trump Called "Crazy and Reckless" [semi-satire]

    04/14/2024 11:11:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 14 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Former President Trump's opposition to the extension of an unrevised Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) was labeled as "crazy and reckless" by former Attorney General Bill Barr. "FISA is an essential tool for our intelligence community to have access to the communications of our potential enemies so they can keep all of us safe." Trump pointed to "the abuse of FISA to spy on me and others who the deep state and the Biden Administration have designated as so-called 'enemies of democracy' needs to stop. Listen, labeling one's political opponents as enemies is the real threat to democracy. It's not...
  • RFK Questions January 6 Narrative [semi-satire]

    04/06/2024 3:25:50 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. decided to issue a statement on the January 6 prosecutions saying "there is little evidence of a true insurrection. The protesters carried no weapons, had no plans or ability to seize the reins of government, and Trump himself urged them to protest peacefully." "Like many reasonable Americans, I am concerned about the possibility that political objectives have motivated the vigor of the prosecution of the J6 defendants, their long sentences, and their harsh treatment. This demonstrates a disturbing pattern of the weaponization of government agencies — the DoJ, the IRS, the SEC, the...
  • "Pardon Pledge Will Sink Trump's Campaign" [semi-satire]

    04/06/2024 11:58:13 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 88 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 April 2024 | John Semmens
    This week, Karl Rove, the political genius who guided former President George W. Bush to two election victories, predicted that Trump's pledge to review all the cases of the January 6 defendants and pardon those who deserve clemency"will sink his campaign. There isn't an innocent person in the whole bunch. They illegally trespassed on government property while official proceedings were underway." Rove rejected claims that the mostly peaceful January 6 demonstrators should be treated the same way that those demonstrating against the death of George Floyd in 2020 while in the custody of Minneapolis police officers were, saying "none of...
  • Biden Mandates More EVs [semi-satire]

    03/27/2024 10:02:42 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2024 | John Semmens
    Disappointed in the slow pace of consumer voluntary purchases of electric vehicles (EVs), President Biden is mandating that by 2032 a majority of new cars sold in the US must be either EVs or hybrids. So far US manufacturers have taken huge losses on EVs because only a tiny minority of drivers are willing to buy them. Biden dismissed auto manufacturers' objections by pointing out that "China manufactures these cars for a lot less. If our domestic producers can't hack it there is an alternative that may better fit folks' budgets." Former President Trump predicted that "Biden's mandate will cause...
  • Squatters Allowed to Steal Homes [semi-satire]

    03/26/2024 9:18:40 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 March 2024 | John Semmens
    Leonel Moreno, a migrant from Venezuela, went on TikTok and advised illegal immigrants "to move into empty houses and claim 'squatters' rights' to gain ownership. Under US law, if a house is not inhabited, anyone can seize it by breaking in and occupying it for a specified period of time." In New York City, intruders who are able to remain on a property for as few as 30 days can legally assert squatter's rights. When Adele Andaloro's parents died they left her the family home. Before she could sell the home three people broke into it, removed the 'for sale'...
  • NY Times Poll Finds Voters Favor Trump's Policies Over Biden's [semi-satire]

    03/14/2024 10:31:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 March 2024 | John Semmens
    A recent New York Times/Sienna College poll showed that Trump's policies were favored by 40% of voters, who said the policies had helped them personally, compared with only 18% who said the same about Biden's policies. Additionally, 43% of voters said that Biden's policies had hurt them, almost double the percentage who said the same about Trump's policies. Sen. Chris Coons (D-Del) brushed aside these findings "because Democrats seem to have out-performed polls pretty consistently over the past few cycles in 2018, 2020, and 2022. There's no reason to expect this to change no matter how many polls show voters...
  • Trump Ordered to Pay Man Who Libeled Him [semi-satire]

    03/09/2024 10:01:05 AM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 10 March 2024 | John Semmens
    British High Court Judge Dame Karen Margaret Steyn ruled that former President Donald Trump's suit for damages against Orbis Business Intelligence, a consultancy founded by former MI6 officer Christopher Steele, was "likely to fail" and that "Trump is liable for the entire amount of Orbis' legal expenses." She ordered Trump to pay £300,000 as a down payment before the total costs are decided by a specialist judge. Orbis has estimated that its costs to defend against Trump's suit exceed £600,000. The dossier prepared by Steele for Hilary Clinton's unsuccessful 2016 campaign for president falsely accused Trump of engaging in sex...
  • Biden Doesn't Need Cognitive Test [semi-satire]

    03/03/2024 10:31:08 AM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre insisted that "unlike his predecessor, President Biden doesn't need a doctor to administer a cognitive test to prove his fitness to serve because he proves it everyday he is on the job. He goes where he needs to go. He does what he needs to do. He says what he needs to say. What more can anyone want of him?" "Look, we already had a head-to-head contest with Trump in 2020 and Biden decisively beat him," she reminded. "At this point, it is Trump who needs to prove he's fit. From what we've seen so...