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Who's the "Most Oppressed" Democrat [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 June 2025 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/21/2025 6:52:36 PM PDT by John Semmens

Seeing that Democrats are out-of-sync with what most voters want for the country, some of them are turning toward a strategy aimed at maximizing the number of sympathy votes they can get by instigating confrontations that result in them clashing with law-enforcement.

Sen. Alex Padilla (Calif) made his pitch for "most oppressed" by describing how he was treated at the press conference of Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem in Los Angeles. "I had serious questions that I wanted answered," Padilla said. "Why was Los Angeles singled out for ICE raids? Why did Trump illegally seize control over the California National Guard troops and deploy them to protect ICE agents when Governor Newsom had explicitly denied that this was necessary? I was concerned that she might not be able to hear me from the back of the room. So I aggressively pushed my way toward the podium, but before I could get there I was tackled by her security detail and pushed to the floor. I was handcuffed and taken out of the room."

Brad Lander, New York City Controller and current candidate for Mayor, called Padilla's case "pretty lame. I was actually arrested while trying to prevent ICE from illegally taking immigrant New Yorkers into custody at the federal courthouse building. I reminded the ICE goons that New York is a sanctuary city and they had no legal authority to harass these people. I locked arms with one of the immigrants and refused to let go. But I was torn apart from him and taken to jail."

Rep. Lamonica McIver (NJ) pointed out that "I've been indicted and face a trial for assaulting a federal officer. I face up to eight years in prison if a jury finds me guilty. All I tried to do was inspect the ICE detention center in Newark. Lander got a 'get out of jail free' card from Gov. Hochul and didn't even have to spend a single night behind bars."

Asked to assess the merits of the three contestants, Rep. Eric Swalwell (Calif) said "the fact that we have gotten to the point where duly elected government officials are being harassed for standing up against the Trump Administration's Gestapo tactics is tragic. I actually saw Sen. Padilla weep as he told his story in Congress. While Gov. Hochul did come to Brad's rescue, it is terrifying that she had to intervene to prevent a grave miscarriage of justice. However, I'd have to say that the most frightening case is that of Rep. McIver. In my view, members of Congress have a duty to inspect government facilities. That she may now be sent to prison for doing her duty is the gravest threat to our democracy since the January 6 insurrection. I sure hope that one of the blank pardons that President Biden signed can be found and filled-in on her behalf."

"More importantly, though, we Democrats have got to fight back against the Trump tyranny," Swalwell added. "California, New York, and New Jersey are all blue states. Their governors need to do more to protect our immigrants from being kidnapped by ICE. Instead of lamenting Trump's activation of the National Guard they've got to preempt him by calling on the Guard to block ICE access to these immigrants. They should be calling on the Democrat judges to issue warrants so the local police can take ICE thugs into custody for violating their states' sanctuary laws. Once these thugs are behind bars we can take our time prosecuting them like we did with the January 6 insurrectionists. Then, before we know it, Trump's term will be over, all his campaign promises would be broken, and voters will punish the Republicans by electing a Democrat president."

In related news, Rep. Maxwell Frost (D-Fla) offered "a simple and instant solution for ending the problem of illegal immigration. We are already an immigrant-filled community. To my Republican colleagues that say, 'I don't want any undocumented people in this country,' I say 'I agree with you.' So, let's document every single one of them with a speedy path to citizenship. That's how we fix this problem."


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: frost; lander; mciver; padilla; satire; swalwell

1 posted on 06/21/2025 6:52:36 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 1of10; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 1raider1; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 06/21/2025 6:53:47 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; ...
LOL!

3 posted on 06/21/2025 7:33:25 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (NeverTrumpin' -- it's not just for DNC shills anymore -- oh, wait, yeah it is.)
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To: John Semmens

Jose!


4 posted on 06/21/2025 7:56:48 PM PDT by NoLibZone (Trump failure: Not declaring Antifa a terrorist organization.)
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To: John Semmens

All Ayatollah-loving RATS are feeling super-oppressed tonight.


5 posted on 06/21/2025 8:11:53 PM PDT by rfp1234 (E Porcibus Unum)
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To: John Semmens

The oppressed are Americans who have to listen to Democrats.


6 posted on 06/22/2025 3:14:06 AM PDT by popdonnelly (All the enormous crimes in history have been committed by governments.)
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To: John Semmens

The more “intersections” you can claim, the more “oppressed” you are.


7 posted on 06/22/2025 5:48:15 AM PDT by fwdude (Why is there a "far/radical right," but damned if they'll admit that there is a far/radical left?)
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