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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Assemblyman Sponsors GTFO Act [semi-satire]

    04/19/2026 9:54:25 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Assemblyman Mark González (D-Los Angeles) is sponsoring legislation "to get the feds out of our state. ICE insists that our state's sanctuary laws do not supersede their authority to enforce federal immigration laws. My bill will bar ICE agents or Department of Homeland Security employees who work for Trump from holding any future public employment in California--not the state, not the counties, not the cities, not any other entity that gets funding from the public treasury. This would bar them from being employed in public transit, water districts, and food stores if we follow the lead of New York's Mayor...
  • Democrats Hope for Trump's Failure [semi-satire]

    04/18/2026 8:47:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Long time columnist for the New York Times Thomas Friedman publicly discussed his moral dilemma this week, saying "I really want to see Iran defeated militarily because this regime is a terrible regime for its people and the region. And nothing would improve the region more than the replacement of this regime with a regime that is focused on enabling its people to realize their full potential, and integrating peacefully with other countries, and stop occupying Lebanon, Syria, Iraq, and Yemen. So I'm all for that." "On the other hand, I really don't want to see Bibi Netanyahu or Donald...
  • Pope Honors Martyrs of Three Faiths [semi-satire]

    04/18/2026 12:19:28 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 19 April 2026 | John Semmens
    This week, Pope Leo XIV visited Algeria's "Maqam Echahid" to "honor the sacrifices made by the Christians, Jews, and Muslims in 1962. All exhibited supreme devotion to their faiths. The Christians and Jews died for their faith. Many of the Muslims involved in slaying these non-Muslims also died in pursuit of their faith." Leo explained that "our presence here at this monument pays tribute to this history of Algeria and to the very spirit of a people who fought for the independence, dignity and sovereignty of this nation. Many non-Muslims regard the massacre of persons of different faiths as an...
  • ‘Do Not Fear Mass Islamic Migration,’ Says Pope Behind 40-Foot Walls Of Vatican City Fortress

    04/16/2026 4:09:27 PM PDT · by MinorityRepublican · 40 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 16, 2026
    VATICAN CITY — Seated inside a fortress with 40-foot walls and surrounded by Swiss guards, Pope Leo XIV cautioned the rest of the world's population not to fear mass Islamic migration. After condemning anyone opposed to their country being overrun by Muslims, the pope then ordered the doors of the Vatican sealed as he hopped into his bulletproof car. "You must lovingly accept anyone into your country, even if they want very much to kill you," explained the Supreme Pontiff. "Do not put up high walls to protect yourself. Do not close yourself in a church with others like yourself....
  • Sen Kennedy warns Democrat 'loon wing' has 'fried' the party’s motherboard

    04/15/2026 7:04:30 PM PDT · by MinorityRepublican · 19 replies
    Fox News ^ | April 15, 2026 | Madison Colombo
    Sen. John Kennedy ripped the Democratic Party’s leadership Tuesday, claiming a "loon wing" of radical progressives has taken control with "nauseously woke" policies. The Louisiana Republican joined "The Will Cain Show" to argue that many of his Democratic colleagues are afraid to challenge party leaders on the "foolishness" of their shift to the left. "The Democratic Party is controlled by the loon wing. And that doesn't mean they're all, Democrats, a member of the loon wing, but the loon wing's in control," Kennedy said. "Their motherboard is fried." He described the far-left faction as being dominated by figures like Rep....
  • People Are Sharing The “Secret” Signs That A Woman Is Far-Right, And They Got Very Specific

    04/15/2026 12:54:22 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 119 replies
    Buzzfeed ^ | Ajani Bazile-Dutes
    “Women who say, ’I don’t follow politics, I just vote for whoever my husband (or father) tells me to vote for’ are probably voting Republican.”We recently asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to share subtle signs that a woman is right-wing (because a lot of people had thoughts about how to tell if men are secretly Republicans). Here's what they shared: 2. "One sign is when women make excuses for bad male behavior or still support public figures who have allegations of abuse or right-wing ideals. I think right-wing women are really just pick-mes that grew up in and still...
  • Defiant Trump Nails Copy Of ‘The Art Of The Deal’ To Vatican Door

    04/14/2026 2:17:49 PM PDT · by DFG · 12 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 04/14/2026 | Babylon Bee
    VATICAN CITY — President Donald Trump escalated his feud with Pope Leo this morning, nailing a copy of The Art of the Deal to the door of the Vatican. "Here I stand, and can do no other," declared Trump as he drove the nail into the Vatican door. "My conscience is captive to making the best deals. If the haters and losers like Pope Leo can't handle that, too bad. I cannot and will not recant anything about the elements of the deal and why I make the best deals of anyone." A crowd of onlookers stood in stunned silence...
  • With Swalwell Resigning, Just 534 Perverts Left In Congress

    04/14/2026 2:15:59 PM PDT · by DFG · 16 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 04/14/2026 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the sudden resignation of California Representative Eric Swalwell over sexual assault charges, analysts speculated that there were now just 534 perverts remaining in the United States Congress. According to political experts, there are typically 535 perverts in Congress at any given time, with 435 perverts in the House, and 100 perverts in the Senate. However, the temporary vacancy left by Swalwell's departure has left Congress with the unusual number of 534 total perverts. "This is not as many pervs as we're used to around here," said Congressional aide Tracy Johnson. "Usually, every office I walk by...
  • Poll Shows Voters See Fraud as a Problem [semi-satire]

    04/14/2026 11:37:17 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2026 | John Semmens
    A poll of 1,000 registered voters conducted by Deep Root Analytics found that 87% of those responding were concerned about fraud that misuses taxpayer money. Eighty three percent saw fraud as a factor driving up the cost of living. One respondent pointed out "if crooks are stealing the money the government intended for those in need, taxes will be increased to replace what's what's been illegally taken." Asked what issues the government ought to focus on, 89% said lowering the cost of living, 84% said making communities safer, 80% said protecting the country from foreign threats, and 65% said enforcing...
  • Mayor Irked By ICE Arrests [semi-satire]

    04/13/2026 11:04:25 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Working in cooperation with the International Criminal Police Organization (Interpol), US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) arrested five foreigners wanted for murder in their home countries. These arrests included Danny Granado-Garcia (El Salvador), Kele Cristian Alves-Pereira (Brazil), Magno Jose Dos Santos (Brazil), Bryan Rafael Gomez (Dominican Republic), and Altieris Chaves Paiva (Brazil). Boston Mayor Michelle Wu (D) objected, saying "it was just two months ago that I issued an executive order that explicitly forbade ICE carrying out any of its enforcement activity in my city. ICE is an unconstitutional and violent organization that has been terrorizing immigrants all across the...
  • Trump Predicts His Approval Ratings Will Be Resurrected In Three Days

    04/13/2026 10:50:31 AM PDT · by DFG · 9 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 04/13/2026 | Babylon Bee
    WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told reporters on Monday that he wasn't concerned about his recent dip in popularity or the controversy that resulted from his posting of a social media image depicting himself as Christ, boldly predicting that his approval ratings would be resurrected in three days. Trump's popularity had slipped as of late, following a tweet of himself as a Christ-like figure and the ongoing war in Iran. Even his most ardent supporters, who had continued to champion him through various scandals, were put off by what they called a sacrilegious depiction of himself in place of Jesus....
  • Dem Vows Vengeance on MAGA [semi-satire]

    04/12/2026 10:56:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 12 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Suzanna Karatassos, a Democrat candidate for a Georgia House seat, pitched herself as "a progressive fighter who will rebuild America by punishing MAGA voters once Trump is gone from the oval office. The people who voted for Trump in three straight elections need to be barred from public discourse by being locked out of internet access for at least the next four years." "Former President Biden is slandered as a demented nincompoop by Republicans, but he was wise enough to make an effort to pressure social media corporations to censor anti-progressive views," Karatassos reminded everyone. "In 2023, Judge Terry Doughty...
  • VIDEO: Shtoop Shtoop Swalwell Gets Fang Fanged Out of CA Governor's Race

    04/11/2026 12:07:34 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 15 replies
    Rumble ^ | April 11, 2026 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOUh-Oh! Eric Swalwell just got Fang Fanged out of the California governor's race. Many consider this Karma due to him Sing Singing top secrets from the House Intel Committee into the ear of ChiCom spy Fang Fang. Poor Swalwell. No more Fang Fang Bang Bangs for the rest of his life. Hear that Ding Ding at Sing Sing, Eric? That's the prison bell signaling dinner time. Mrs. Eric Swalwell better file for divorce pronto to get half what little is left of soon to be ex-hubby's community property (especially the Maryland home) before it all goes BOOM BOOM into smoke...
  • Government Officials Hampered Investigation of Fraud [semi-satire]

    04/11/2026 10:53:17 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2026 | John Semmens
    In Minnesota, Scott Dexter, who worked as an investigator at the Minnesota Department of Human Services (DHS) from 2013 to 2019, drew attention to widespread fraud in the Minnesota welfare system, saying "the very first daycare that we investigated had received about $3.75 million in one year, and so it was obvious that they were committing fraud. Daycare centers were operating out of commercial spaces with windows covered, no visible play areas, and very few children ever present. We documented patterns of over-billing, nonexistent attendance, and children being signed in for hours they were never actually at the center." "Unfortunately,...
  • Gavin Newsom's Empire of Fraud [semi-satire]

    04/10/2026 5:18:42 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 April 2026 | John Semmens
    In an expose written by senior fellow Christopher Rufo at the Manhattan Institute for Policy Research for the Institute's City Journal he wrote "experts and Health & Human Services officials estimated that fraud has consumed between $180 billion and $280 billion of public funds meant to provide heath care, unemployment benefits and general welfare payments." "While the state's indifferent and careless administration of these programs is the primary culprit, the lax enforcement of the federal government under Biden, and now Trump, bears a share of the blame," Rufo asserted. "Thousands of reports from whistleblowers led to fewer than 100 prosecutions."...
  • 'Just shut up!': MAGA allies fed up with Trump's belligerence and war with Iran

    04/10/2026 10:32:37 AM PDT · by Red6 · 157 replies
    MS Now ^ | April 9, 2026 | Megan Kelly
    'Just shut up!': MAGA allies fed up with Trump's belligerence and war with Iran. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/just-shut-up-maga-allies-fed-up-with-trump-s-belligerence-and-war-with-iran/vi-AA20wRD8?ocid=socialshare#details
  • Judge Orders Subsidies to PBS & NPR Resumed [semi-satire]

    04/07/2026 11:24:27 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 25 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2026 | John Semmens
    US District Judge Randolph Moss overturned the federal government's decision to discontinue the subsidies to the Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) and National Public Radio (NPR) calling it "a violation of the First Amendment's guarantee of freedom of speech. Neither the President nor Congress has the right to cancel the payment of federal money to these broadcasters merely because they don't like what they are broadcasting or they have better uses for the funds." White House spokesperson Abigail Jackson called Judge Moss' decision "a ridiculous ruling by an activist judge attempting to undermine the law. NPR and PBS have no right...
  • Swalwell Issues Cease & Desist Letter [semi-satire]

    04/06/2026 10:03:45 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif), who is currently a leading candidate to become his state's next governor, issued a cease-and-desist letter to FBI Director Kash Patel contending that "the FBI's intrusion into my relationship with Christine Fang is a violation of my privacy. She was a student who helped me campaign for Congress and is still a friend. The allegation that I may have divulged sensitive classified data to her that she passed on to China was proved false when Christopher Wray was the FBI Director while Biden was president. The case against me was dismissed. There is no need to...
  • Dems Assail Unbalanced Economy [semi-satire]

    04/05/2026 11:50:27 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2026 | John Semmens
    The March report on employment from the US Bureau of Labor Statistics shows non-farm payrolls increasing by 178,000 jobs. This exceeded expert predictions of a 60,000 increase. Since Trump's inauguration in January of 2025 the US private sector has added 609,000 jobs. Average hourly wages are 3.5% higher than a year ago. During the Biden Administration annual blue-collar wages declined by $1,703. In the past year these wages have risen by $1,186. The annual inflation rate that peaked at over 6% during the middle years of Biden's term have fallen to 2.5% in the first year of Trump's current term....
  • Voter ID Is Immoral [semi-satire]

    04/04/2026 1:23:47 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 April 2026 | John Semmens
    Sen. Jack Reed (D-RI) argued against the SAVE America Act, saying "can you really trust the government with your name, address, date of birth, driver's license number, and biometric information like height, weight, hair color, and eye color? The SAVE Act asks you to place that trust in them. I personally would not. States would be required to report their full voter rolls to Department of Homeland Security and certify that there are no non-citizens on their list. And the federal government can require, then, states to purge their voter roles of any non-citizens." The State of Rhode Island currently...