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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Episcopalians Find Strange Old Book Hidden Under Pew

    05/15/2025 2:40:13 PM PDT · by DFG · 30 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/15/2025 | Babylon Bee
    NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, a group of Episcopalian parishioners has found a strange old book hidden underneath one of their church's pews. The book, labeled "Holy Bible" on the front of it, was apparently unknown and completely foreign to everyone at the church, leaving leaders in fear that the church may have been infiltrated by right-wing religious extremists. "It contained strange text and verses we had never seen before," said Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe. "Just a cursory glance through this ‘Bible' was troubling. It appears to speak of an almighty deity none of us are familiar with...
  • Eyeing 2028 Presidential Bid, Gavin Newsom Distances Self From Gavin Newsom

    05/15/2025 9:33:39 AM PDT · by DFG · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/15/2025 | Babylon Bee
    SACRAMENTO, CA — The next race for the White House already showed signs of being in full swing, as, eyeing a potential 2028 presidential bid, California Governor Gavin Newsom took steps to distance himself from California Governor Gavin Newsom. Recognizing the polarizing effect Governor Newsom's liberal policies could have on voters across the country led Governor Newsom to publicly disavow many of the initiatives Governor Newsom implemented in the Golden State. "Let me be clear — I cannot, in good conscious, condone my leadership of California," Newsom told reporters in a brief speech outside the state capitol. "Some of the...
  • VIDEO: Bipolar Lib Continues Entertaining with MORE Drastic Mood Swings

    05/15/2025 6:37:33 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 5 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 15, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOThis liberal was recently featured in the DUmmie FUnnies because of his seeming metamorphosis due to TDS. However, it now seems this liberal is actually Bipolar with EXTREME mood swings that are triggered by TDS as you can see. One moment he appears to be a soft spoken Gandhi type pleading for kindness towards all and the next moment he comes off as a rage filled Commie demanding violent revolution and spewing hate towards Orange Man Bad.
  • Pete Rose Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony To Be Sponsored By DraftKings

    05/14/2025 1:44:13 PM PDT · by DFG · 38 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/14/2025 | Babylon Bee
    COOPERSTOWN, NY — Despite not yet being officially elected to the prestigious and exclusive group, one late baseball player already landed a lucrative sponsorship, as it was announced that Pete Rose's Hall of Fame induction ceremony would be brought to you by DraftKings. The long-awaited election of Major League Baseball's all-time hit leader to the Hall of Fame had not even taken place when the online sports betting website snapped up the rights to promote the event. "It's our honor to sponsor such a special occasion," said DraftKings CEO and co-founder Jason Robins. "We're currently taking bets on how many...
  • "It's Too Hard to Build Things in America Because of Excessive Regulations" [semi-satire]

    05/14/2025 11:34:40 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    Former Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg predicted that "Trump's efforts to restore American manufacturing will fail because excessive regulations make it too hard to build things in this country. From my time as Secretary of the USDOT I learned that everything goes over budget and takes far longer than it should because of regulations like the rules mandating that 40% of the benefits go to 'under-served' minorities." President Biden established the White House Environmental Justice Advisory Council whose job is to ensure that the voices, perspectives, and lived realities of communities with environmental justice concerns are heard in the White...
  • VIDEO: Remember When Media Eagerly Anticipated Inflation RISE Due to Trump Tariffs?

    05/14/2025 9:25:23 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 10 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 14, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAh! What a difference a mere week makes. A week ago, much of the media was eagerly anticipating a SURGE in inflation due to President Trump's tariffs. They repeatedly cited "experts" proclaiming the inevitability of such a rise in inflation with NO alternative scenario possible. Unfortunately for them, reality did not cooperate with liberal fantasy yet again.
  • Modern Feminism Is Like A Rat In The Kitchen

    05/13/2025 7:17:24 PM PDT · by Ozguy1945 · 6 replies
    https://jokesheal.com/ ^ | 14th Maarch 2025 | Ozguy1945
    Dockamentry film maker, Jim Cousens, opens up on what it is like to be a man in modern Australia: Jim says: "Being faced with the reality of the feminism which has got its claws into just about all of us is a little bit like when you've got visitors over and there's a rat in the kitchen ........ ......... If you say, 'Oh God, there's a rat in the kitchen.', then you've actually drawn their attention to the problem. Maybe, if you'd just kept your mouth shut ,they would never have noticed. But if you keep your mouth shut and...
  • VIDEO: Why Bernie Sanders Was So Upset by Accusations of Big Pharma Corruption

    05/13/2025 2:42:59 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 5 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 13, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOWith the aid of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and the animation magic of Al Barry we find out the reason why Bernie Sanders gets so outraged by allegations of Big Pharma corruption. So give the poor guy a break. He has beach houses to buy and Gulfstream jets to fly.LEAVE BERNIE ALONE!!!
  • Top Baby Names In UK Now Muhammad, Mohammed, Mohamad, And Mohamed

    05/13/2025 2:18:17 PM PDT · by DFG · 16 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/13/2025 | Babylon Bee
    UNITED KINGDOM — According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), the names Muhammad, Mohammed, Mohamad, and Mohamed are now the most popular names in England. 2025's list of popular baby names is strikingly similar to previous years, but what's unique is that traditional English names like James, William, Charles, and Edward are nowhere to be found. The names have reportedly been rendered obsolete by a new generation of little Muhammads, Mohammeds, Mohamads, and Mohameds. "These cute baby names are what's really in right now, reflecting an admiration for the Holy Prophet, peace be upon him," said statistician Mohamed Ben...
  • States Sue to Prevent Loss of Wind Subsidies [semi-satire]

    05/13/2025 10:57:59 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    Eighteen states are suing the Trump Administration over the President's decision to end government subsidies to the firms that supply or operate the equipment needed to capture wind energy. New York State Attorney General Letitia James pointed out that "without these subsidies the wind industry cannot survive. The power generated by harnessing the wind is not cost-effective. Consumers are not willing to pay what it costs to generate this energy for their use. By cutting the subsidies this administration is devastating one of our nation's fastest-growing sources of clean, reliable and affordable energy." Energy Secretary Chris Wright observed that "while...
  • VIDEO: Watch CBS "Report" On Trump Lowering Prescription Drug Prices Plan

    05/13/2025 8:26:06 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 12 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 13, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOSo how are the news networks reporting on President Trump's plan to reduce prescription drug prices? Well since network news organizations are financed in a big way by drug companies they are either ignoring it, changing the subject, or pretending the plan won't work or all three. An example can be seen in this report by CBS which presented the first half hour of President Trump announcing his prescription drug plan and then cutting in to announce something entirely different, namely that Trump "CAPITULATED" on the trade deal with China. After that CBS finally returned to the subject of Trump's...
  • Good Oligarchy vs. Bad Oligarchy [semi-satire]

    05/12/2025 10:30:23 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    For many weeks now, self-identified democratic-socialists Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt) and Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) have been jetting around the country in private aircraft for their their "Fighting Oligarchy Tour." Federal Election Commission reports show that this campaign has spent more than $221,000 on private jet travel in the first quarter of 2025. Fox News' "Special Report" host Bret Baier asked "don't these private flights cost around $15,000 per hour? Isn't this the way that oligarchs travel?" "Yes it is," Sanders admitted. "Fortunately, not all oligarchs are bad people. Some of them are earning brownie points by funding the needs...
  • VIDEO: Watch the Moment When Don Rickles DESTROYED Comedy Career of Jody (Bonehead) McCrea

    05/12/2025 9:04:25 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 19 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 12, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOOne of the most AMAZING scenes in cinematic history came, believe it or not, in the film "Beach Blanket Bingo" when Don Rickles hilariously broke the fourth wall by temporarily stepping out of his role as Big Drop and doing his regular shtick on the cast members. As you can see everybody reacted to Rickles improv comedy as their real selves, not as their movie characters. Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello took Rickles' ribbing in good humor although you can tell they were a bit uncomfortable. However, the most fascinating reaction to Don Rickles was by Jody "Bonehead" McCrea. See,...
  • Marilyn Monroe in The Marx Brothers Love Happy 1949 #shorts #grouchomarx #comedy #slapstick

    05/11/2025 3:09:02 PM PDT · by Macho MAGA Man · 5 replies
    JobToiMovieClips on YouTube ^ | May 11, 2025 | JobToi
    Marilyn Monroe in The Marx Brothers Love Happy 1949 #shorts #grouchomarx #comedy #slapstick The Marx Brothers help young Broadway hopefuls while thwarting diamond thieves. Credits: United Artists 1949 Director: David Miller Producers: Lester Cowan, Mary Pickford Writers: Frank Tashlin, Mac Benoff, Harpo Marx Cast: The Marx Brothers, Ilona Massey, Vera-Ellen, Marion Hutton, Raymond Burr, Paul Valentine, Eric Blore, Bruce Gordon, Marilyn Monroe
  • VIDEO: TDS Causes HILARIOUS Metamorphosis in Liberal

    05/11/2025 10:50:26 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 21 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 11, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOIf anyone out there still doubts the incredible power of TDS over the minds of liberals, then you should watch this video. In the middle of last December this liberal, although he had a moral chip on his shoulder about the incoming Trump administration, calmly and in a soft voice sounded like Gandhi in how people should display their opposition calmly and and without name calling and personal attacks. Fast forward just six months to May 2025 and you can see the AMAZING metamorphosis in the latter day Gandhi triggered entirely by TDS. It's like Trump has such power over...
  • 11 Thoughtful Mother's Day Gifts You Can Get At The Gas Station On The Way Home From Church

    05/11/2025 9:02:42 AM PDT · by DFG · 10 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/11/2025 | Babylon Bee
    Hey, it's Mother's Day! That means it's time to start thinking about shopping for Mother's Day. But just because it's the actual holiday, like, right now, doesn't mean you can't still get the special mother in your life something super thoughtful and caring. Here are 11 things you can grab for her at the gas station on the way home from church. Like, right now. Hurry. 1. $10 worth of lotto scratchers - Nothing says "I love you" like a chance at being a millionaire. Classy! 2. A six-pack of Natty Ice and a pack of mom's favorite smokes -...
  • Pelosi's Hope for the New Pope [semi-satire]

    05/11/2025 8:14:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    Former Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi appeared on MSNBC's "Chris Jansing Reports" to express her hope that "people of good faith listen to the words, both of our elected officials, when they say what they say about the need to respect immigrants. This new pope is acutely aware of conditions forcing the migration of vulnerable migrants. With so many people looking to him for guidance, I hope he will be impactful as a moral and ethical voice on that issue." Jansing asked "would you say that Pope Leo's words would effectively rebut Vice-President Vance's assertion that care...
  • VIDEO: Sneak Preview of How India-Pakistan Ceasefire Talks Will Sound

    05/10/2025 10:32:23 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 22 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2025 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOHe won't get the credit for it in much of the media but President Donald Trump might have prevented South Asia from turning into a radioactive wasteland by brokering a ceasefire between India and Pakistan. Although most folks in the USA have not being paying much attention to this conflict, the fact that both nations have nukes made it essential that their conflict be prevented from devolving into the Apocalypse. However, the animosities between India and Pakistan are long and strong so here is a sneak preview of what their ceasefire talks will probably sound like at least initially. Oh,...
  • NJ Mayor Arrested [semi-satire]

    05/10/2025 9:07:30 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    This week, Newark Mayor and New Jersey gubernatorial candidate Ras Baraka (D) entered the Delaney Hall Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) detention center and asserted "this facility cannot be legally operated in Newark. Newark is a sanctuary city that welcomes immigrants. The planned living conditions at Delaney Hall do not fulfill the standards we require for these new Americans. ICE wants to lock them up in cages. We insist upon hotel accommodations." Acting US Attorney for the District of New Jersey Alina Habba pointed out that "so-called 'sanctuary cities' contradict federal law. They may have been tolerated under the lawless...
  • Rubio Rescues Hostages [semi-satire]

    05/10/2025 1:12:47 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 May 2025 | John Semmens
    In 2023, María Corina Machado won the nomination as the Unity Democratic Platform candidate for the presidency in Venezuela. The Maduro government invalidated this election. Edmundo González Urrutia took her place on the July 2024 ballot. According to non-government sources, he got 70% of the votes in the Venezuelan presidential election to 30% for incumbent Nicolás Maduro Moros. However, Maduro declared himself the winner. There were massive public protests against Maduro's usurpation. Thousands were arrested. Maria went into hiding. Edmundo sought and was granted asylum in Spain. Five top aides of the Unity Democratic Platform Party were granted asylum by...