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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • VIDEO: Adam Schiff Announces Senate Run Because "The Truth Matters"

    01/26/2023 10:15:57 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 39 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 26, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAccording to Adam Schiff "the truth matters" which is why he is now running for the U.S. Senate. You many now commence bursting out LAUGHING.
  • Pfizer Introduces New Mascot 'Clotty'

    01/25/2023 11:30:59 AM PST · by shadowlands1960 · 26 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | January 25th, 2023 | unattributed
    NEW YORK, NY — Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has unveiled their new mascot, an adorable glob of platelets who goes by the name "Clotty". "See? Blood clots aren't scary!" said Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla as a smiling Clotty danced onto the stage. "Welcome to Pfizer, Clotty! Let's get one of these little guys into every home in America!" While Pfizer initially pushed back against evidence tying the vaccine to blood clots, the company has decided to instead embrace it. "We are so excited for Clotty to help us put a friendly face on heart attacks and strokes," said Pfizer CEO Albert...
  • Dems & GOP Spar Over Debt [semi-satire]

    01/25/2023 9:17:20 AM PST · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) rejected President Biden's demand for a "clean" debt ceiling hike, saying "cramming a bloated federal spending package through during the 'lame duck' session showed total disrespect for the American people's concerns about government overspending. The Republican majority in the House intends to give these concerns a fair hearing. Fending off bankruptcy should be a bipartisan effort." Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen called the Republicans' focus on the national debt "naive. The federal government isn't your random seeker of borrowed money. It is the most powerful organization on the planet. It can crush any opposition--foreign...
  • VIDEO: Joe Scarborough Didn't Get Latest Bill Gates Covid Vaccine Message

    01/25/2023 8:58:09 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 10 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 25, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOGuess what Joe? Even Bill Gates has done a U-turn on the efficacy of the COVID vaccines. If you had known that perhaps you wouldn't have shot your mouth off on that subject on your January 25, 2023 Morning Joe show. Maybe you should now consider using one of those Covid inhalers that Gates is now hyping after his admission that Covid vaccines don't work well.
  • VIDEO: Bill Gates On Covid Vaccines: NEVER MIND!!!

    01/25/2023 6:29:13 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 20 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 25, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOBill Gates, finally bowing to sad reality, just did a complete U-turn on the efficacy of COVID vaccines. However, he did it in such a calm, matter-of-fact manner that he hopes you won't notice. Guess what, Bill? WE NOTICED!
  • Man's EV Takes Five Days to Charge [semi-satire]

    01/24/2023 10:01:57 AM PST · by John Semmens · 29 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    The owner of a GMC Hummer EV SUV wanted to find out how long it would take to fully charge the vehicle. So he plugged it into an ordinary home electrical outlet. The $87,000 electric vehicle took five days to reach full capacity, which is said to provide up to 329 miles of travel before needing to refill. While a normal person might view this as a bit inconvenient, high-ranking members of the Biden Administration see a "silver lining." Secretary of Energy Jennifer Granholm pointed out that "an overlooked advantage of the difficulty charging an electric vehicle is it encourages...
  • VIDEO: The HILARIOUS Madness of Al Gore

    01/24/2023 6:58:07 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 18 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 24, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAl Gore's INSANE outburst recently at the World Economic Forum shocked many but it also had the saving grace of being HILARIOUS.
  • Hunter Laptop Lie Admitted [semi-satire]

    01/23/2023 9:48:16 AM PST · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    The October 2020 letter alleging that damaging content on Hunter Biden's abandoned laptop was Russian disinformation and was signed by former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, former Director of National intelligence James Clapper, and former CIA Director John Brennan and others is now admitted to be a lie. Former US intel official Douglas Wise now says "we all knew the Hunter laptop had to be real, but signed the letter claiming it wasn't because we all knew that, true or false, it was essential to prevent Trump from being reelected. As post-election polls showed, 17% of those who voted for Biden...
  • Dems to Lower Firefighter Fitness Standards [semi-satire]

    01/22/2023 10:24:39 AM PST · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    Democrats in Connecticut have introduced legislation that would allow women to skip the physical ability test for becoming firefighters. Hamden Mayor Lauren Garrett said that "fewer than 15% of women are able to pass this test. Such discrimination is intolerable." Leah DiNapoli, a retired New Haven firefighter, called the proposed law "absolutely insane. Pulling people out of burning buildings requires strength. Diminishing the standards for becoming a firefighter endangers the lives of both the general public and the weaker firefighters the lowered standards will recruit." Garrett argued that "we're trying to balance two separate objectives here--saving lives and achieving greater...
  • VIDEO: Indian vs Indian at Davos with DIZZYING Graphics

    01/22/2023 9:43:21 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 19 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 22, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOThe sparks flew during this interview in Davos between an India Today journalist and an Indian economist. However, it was hard (at least for an American) to pay attention due to the incredibly DIVERTING moving graphics going on all around them. Do people in India have a different attention filter than Americans because those graphics were making me dizzy? Yeah, we have moving graphics on American TV but not so annoyingly overwhelming as they seem to have in India. One thing that stood out for me in this interview was the way the economist pronounced "Tik-Tok." Even the flashy graphics...
  • VIDEO: Lex Sleepman Is World's Most Exciting Interviewer

    01/21/2023 9:44:55 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 13 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 21, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAre you not thrilled by the world's most exciting interviewer, Lex Sleepman? Or at least that is what almost everybody is saying. Even if Lex Sleepman is not your cup of tea, the YouTube algorithm will force feed his channel upon you until you change your mind.
  • Dems Being Treated Unfairly [semi-satire]

    01/21/2023 9:41:47 AM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif) complains that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy’s determination to keep him off the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence (HPSCI) “is so unfair.” McCarthy defended his position, pointing out that “Swalwell’s long-term sexual liaison with a Chinese spy indicates that he should not be privy to the kind of sensitive national security information that the HPSCI deals with on a regular basis.” Swalwell called McCarthy’s explanation “unconvincing. President Biden stored classified documents at the Penn Biden Center for Diplomacy and Global Engagement in Washington, DC. This Center was funded by Chinese Communist Party money and included sharing...
  • AG Explains Disparate Classified Documents Treatment [semi-satire]

    01/20/2023 8:01:24 PM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 Jan 2023 | John Semmens
    While the Department of Justice saw fit to send a platoon of armed FBI agents to seize documents from former President Trump's Mar-a-Lago residence, no such dramatic enforcement effort has been expended in the retrieval of classified documents held in various locations by President Biden. Attorney General Merrick Garland explained that "the situations are in no way analogous. Trump was a twice-impeached enemy of our democracy. President Biden is the nation's most prominent defender of our democracy. It stands to reason that different approaches are warranted." Among the differences between the two cases is that President Biden's private lawyers--none of...
  • VIDEO: Reminder to CNN Why Eric Swalwell Was Kicked Off House Intel Committee

    01/20/2023 4:20:25 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 9 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 19, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO This CNN panel just can't understand why Kevin McCarthy has tossed Eric Swalwell off the House Intelligence Committee. Or at least they PRETEND not to understand why. This video serves as a refresher course for them as to why, namely Chinese spy FANG FANG getting information from Swalwell via the time tested method of BANG BANG.
  • Was I wrong ?

    01/19/2023 3:44:24 PM PST · by algore · 81 replies
    self | self
    I was walking out of a store and see a woman in an electric focus parking next to my car. She has 2 bumper stickers "I support Planned Parenthood" "Black Lives Matter" I got in my car while trying to understand this but failed. Then I watched her strap on a reusable black facemask I waited a few seconds till she got out of her car and started backing out, rolled down my window and said to her "I am kind of confused cause your bumper stickers contradict each other." She looked at me like she was confused so I...
  • NHL Player Says If He Wanted To Support The Gays He'd Be Playing Soccer

    01/19/2023 12:17:53 PM PST · by Rummyfan · 21 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 19 Jan 2023 | Babylon Bee
    NHL star Ivan Provorov declined to participate in the Philadelphia Flyers' Pride Night or wear a rainbow-colored jersey, saying if he wanted to support the gay agenda he would have played soccer instead of hockey. "Listen, man, I got nothing against the gays," said Provorov to a crowd of outraged sports writers as the rest of his team pranced across the ice gracefully in their colorful outfits. "But I ain't wearing that thing. Let's leave all that gay stuff in soccer where it belongs. Also, I believe in God and stuff, and I don't want to disobey him, so there's...
  • Schumer Warns House Not to Investigate Bidens [semi-satire]

    01/18/2023 9:23:42 PM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 15 January 2023 | John Semmens
    With the House of Representatives poised to conduct investigations of crimes and abuses committed by the Biden family businesses, Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) kindly advised them not to. "The issue of whether it is worthwhile to go down this path was adjudicated by voters in last year's elections. If voters had wanted such investigations they wouldn't have elected so many Democrats." House Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif) pointed out that "more Republicans than Democrats were elected to the House. Four million more votes were cast for Republicans than for Democrats. On top of this, a recent poll conducted by...
  • VIDEO: Car-a-Lago: Remember When Biden Was Planning 2024 Announcement?

    01/18/2023 4:38:01 PM PST · by PJ-Comix · 7 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 18, 2023 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO Joe Biden is a "great respecter of fate." And as fate would have it, he is now neck deep in the YUUUUUUGE Car-a-Lago documents scandal. Now that we are in the midst of this scandal it is easy to forget that Biden had planned to announce in late January or February that he plans to run in 2024. Will he have the hubris to actually make such an announcement and tempt the fate from the ancient gods for whom hubris was the among the worst of mortal sins? Or have those ancient gods already made their judgement of Biden's...
  • Second-Grader Suspended For Misgendering An M&M

    01/18/2023 3:43:17 PM PST · by DFG · 15 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 01/18/2023 | Babylon Bee
    ST PAUL, MN — Local second grader Tim Bumbly has been suspended from Rosa Parks 1619 Obama Elementary for repeatedly misgendering one of the M&M's candies he received in his lunch. "After multiple warnings, Timmy continued to refer to his green and purple M&M's as 'they' and 'them', when Mars, Inc. has already confirmed they are strong, independent women," said Tim's teacher Franz Zenber (she/her). "For the safety of our student body, we had to remove him from the school as soon as possible. Misgendering kills." The school board and superintendent backed the decision, confirming the student will be suspended...
  • 15 Reasons Completely Unrelated To The Vaccine People Are Dying Suddenly

    01/18/2023 2:42:33 PM PST · by DFG · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 01/18/2023 | Babylon Bee
    Have you been wondering why so many people are suddenly collapsing? Well, it's definitely not in any way related to that one thing, that's for sure! The world's top experts have been hard at work studying what could cause this uptick in deaths. Here's the most up-to-date list of everything that's causing everyone to suddenly die: 1, Climate change: Starting with the most obvious here. 2, Standing up too quickly: You have to stand up slower! 3, Standing up too slowly: You have to stand up faster! 4. Excitement from watching She-Hulk: Try pausing the show and slowly breathing into...