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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Biden Reinstates Slush Fund [semi-satire]

    01/25/2021 9:19:59 AM PST · by John Semmens
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 January 2021 | John Semmens
    President Biden has instructed the Department of Justice (DOJ) to reinstate the "slush fund" used by the Obama Administration to funnel funds to political friends. The slush fund arose from settlements between the federal government and corporate wrongdoers. Rather than use the money to compensate the victims of corporate misdeeds or turn the money over to the treasury, the Obama DOJ handed cash out to its favored left-wing political allies. An estimated total of $650 million was dispersed in this manner during the two Obama terms. The slush fund was terminated during the Trump Administration by Attorney General Jeff Sessions,...
  • VIDEO: Did Biden Sign Executive Order Killing Keystone Pipeline Without Realizing It?

    01/25/2021 8:04:32 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 44 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 25, 2021 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO As you can see in the video, Biden signed at least one executive order without even knowing what he was signing. So is it possible that he signed the executive order to kill the Keystone XL Pipeline without even knowing what he was signing? Or did he sign such an executive order knowing full well that it would kill thousands of high paying union jobs as well as severely damaging relations with Canada. Either way it is not a good look for Chairman Xiden, the Temporary Puppet.
  • Our Man In Beijing

    01/25/2021 5:20:33 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-25-21 | MOTUS
    It’s simply uncanny how ahead of its time Twilight Zone was.No need to imagine anymore. That’s ‘President’ YouTwitFace to youThe man who can’t find his way out of a brown paper bag,and still has trouble finding his way into his federally mandated cloth facemask.And now we’re about to find out what China wants with that old YouTwitFace they just took delivery of: Is Joe About To Surrender Taiwan To Beijing?The answer is yes. And now you see why it was necessary for Trump to go. All you people who voted for old TwitFace because you didn’t like Trump’s mean tweets...
  • Monday News Roundup: Ute Tribe Strikes Back at Biden Order, and Why is Tulsi Still a Democrat?

    01/25/2021 4:59:55 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 11 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Why does the Biden Administration hate Native Americans? – On Sunday I wrote about the negative reaction by officials in New Mexico to China Joe Potato Head Biden’s order halting all oil and gas leasing and permitting actions on federal lands for 60 days. The Land of Enchantment’s officials turn out not to be so enchanted with the idea of shutting down the industry that funds about half of the state’s annual budget. Go figure. Well, New Mexicans are not the only ones who are more than a little irritated by the new administration’s rash action. See, the Biden ban...
  • The Corrupt News Media’s Plan to Expand its Mass Brainwashing Efforts to Your Workplace

    01/25/2021 4:56:57 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 9 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    And now, a Because Science Look-in at how the “science” about COVID-19 is working out for the people in North Dakota and South Dakota: May be an image of text that says 'North Dakota vS South Dakota COVID-19 Cases Per Million North Dakota ✓ Masks Business Restrictions BOUTH N THE MOUNT South Dakota Masks Business Restrictions SD 1/28/1 ND Source: Covid Tracking Project Moving Average 0///10/20 4/21 12/12/20 @yinonw' This concludes your Because Science Look-in for today. Speaking of COVID-19, here is what happens when CNN, MSNBC and every local news channel in America removes their “death tracker” graphic from...
  • Biden Buyer’s Remorse: Biden Minimum Wage Plan Causes More Outrage Mob Angst

    01/24/2021 11:13:42 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 37 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Perpetual Outrage Mob on Twitter is outraged again. – But now, in a dose of high irony, the Perpetual Outrage Mob (POM) has turned it’s ire towards the elderly Sock Puppet who was their hero just days ago. Such is the result of the POM learning that the reality of China Joe Potato Head Biden’s policy does not come close to matching the wild promises he and Kamala Lala Ding Dong made during their fake campaign. First, the POM went berserk when it discovered that the “$2,000 checks” for COVID relief that China Joe and Kamala promised during the...
  • Pelosi Criticizes Pro-Lifers' "Warped Values" [semi-satire]

    01/24/2021 9:33:14 AM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 January 2021 | John Semmens
    In a podcast with Hillary Clinton, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) sharply criticized opponents of abortion. "First they helped Trump win the 2016 presidential election because he promised to protect the lives of unborn babies," she said. "Now that voters have massively elected the most pro-choice president in American history, pro-lifers stubbornly resist the unity our nation so desperately needs." "It is one thing to privately hold onto warped values out of loyalty to out-dated concepts of morality," the Speaker contended. "It is quite another to resist the new reality. In a democracy the determination of what is right or...
  • Learn The Code, Man

    01/24/2021 5:28:50 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 31 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-24-21 | MOTUS
    Don’t worry, this lonely stretch of track will soon see thousands of tanker cars traveling its rails. They’ll be hauling Canadian oil down to the Gulf and empty cars back up to Alberta, burning up a lot of hateful fossil fuel in the process. Jason Kenney, the leader of the Canadian province of Alberta “noted that without the pipeline, oil must be transported to Gulf Coast refineries by truck or train, both of which are sources of much higher emissions.”Funny isn’t it, the President of the party that claims to champion “the working man” and the environment cancelled the Keystone...
  • Biden Proves Democrat Voters Have no Idea What They’re Voting For

    01/24/2021 5:08:14 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 56 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    More proof Democrat voters have no idea what they’re voting for. – How many Democrats who voted for China Joe Potato Head Biden thought they were voting for this when the entered the voting booth?: Yes, friends, the dementia-addled sock puppet occupying the White House reversed President Trump’s order lowering the cost of a variety of prescription medicines on Friday, including some that are crucial to millions suffering from diabetes and allergic reactions. This from the party that claims to be the advocate for healthcare in America. From a story at Daily Wire: President Joe Biden’s United States Department of...
  • Sunday News Roundup: Biden Hates Unions and Democrat Governors Suddenly Decide to Reopen

    01/24/2021 5:04:52 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 18 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Remember when Democrats claimed to support union jobs? – Well, those days are gone, as the former heavy influence of the unions on Democrats has been completely overwhelmed by the influence and money from the “climate change” lobby. No better proof of that changed dynamic has ever been offered than with Joe Biden’s cancellation of the cross-border permit for the Keystone XL Pipeline last week, an act that will ultimately cost as many as 10,000 union jobs. But that is far from the only cost of this rash and unprecedented act of executive fiat. From a story at The...
  • Trump Undermines Congressional Authority [semi-satire]

    01/23/2021 11:17:48 AM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 January 2021 | John Semmens
    Ordered to vacate the corridors of the Capitol building after Rep. Will Keating (D-MA) complained that he saw a couple of the National Guard troops at a Dunkin Donuts “without wearing the masks mandated by President Biden,” former President Donald Trump’s offer to let them hang out at his DC hotel incited House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) to add another charge to her impeachment case against him. “Mr. Trump is no longer in charge of the federal government,” Pelosi ranted. “He has no authority to offer accommodations of any sort to these troops. His doing so is further proof of...

    01/23/2021 8:30:55 AM PST · by PJ-Comix · 63 replies
    Rumble ^ | January 23, 2021 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAre we reaching the point where our videos could be censored or taken down if we do not call her DOCTOR Jill Biden? We might already have reached that level of censorship so I am taking no chances. In fact, I am going to emphasize that she is DOCTOR Jill Biden whenever I refer to her and I recommend you do the same.
  • We Are On Correct Path Comrades, Edition 153

    01/23/2021 5:55:13 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-23-21 | MOTUS
    Thank goodness our Figurehead New World Order el Presidente (FINWOP) has rejoined the Paris Climate Accord and the World Health Organization. That means we can have nice things again. Such as indoor dining** which in Democrat states has become as rare as free speech and other First Amendment rights. Now that Trump is gone – quelle surprise! – Covid is not so scary. We’ve got the new vaccines, the number of Covid positives and deaths appear to have been overstated and now we can get about reopening the economy. Transparency, – it’s back baby! And every bit as transparent as...
  • Saturday News Roundup: Musk Makes a Big Bet, Cheney Draws a Challenge and Schumer’s Freudian Slip

    01/23/2021 4:31:51 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 29 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    RIP, Hank Aaron. – Hammerin’ Hank, or as Sandy Koufax called him, Bad Henry, passed away on Friday at the age of 86. Koufax and many other pitchers of his day thought Aaron was the most dangerous hitter they faced, which is saying a lot since his contemporaries included the likes of Willie Mays, Mickey Mantle, Ted Williams, Frank Robinson and so many more. The news media is reluctant to report this (the news can only be found at secondary outlets like the one linked here), but Aaron was in good health two weeks ago, when he took one of...
  • DeSantis Whips Abbott Again on National Guard Controversy

    01/23/2021 4:29:51 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 69 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Well, here we go with the next step in making the DC Police State permanent. – is reporting today that the National Guard under China Joe Potato Head Biden plans to keep a very substantial force of more than 7,000 Guard personnel in the nation’s capital to defend against gangs of marauding Trump supporters that do not exist. The plan announced on Thursday originally was to keep this huge military presence in DC through the end of January, but that was mysteriously extended on Friday through the end of March. And at the end of March, it will no...
  • Post Ends "Fact-Checking" Program [semi-satire]

    01/22/2021 7:57:16 PM PST · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 January 2021 | John Semmens
    The Washington Post announced that it is ending its "fact-checking" program. Glenn Kessler, an editor and chief fact-checker cited "the lack of need for such a program under the new administration." "During the four years Trump was president there were more than 30,000 instances where he made misleading or false statements that cried out for corrections by our staff," Kessler asserted. "During this same time span there wasn't a single instance in which a statement by Joe Biden, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, or any other prominent Democrat was found to be untrue. The elevation of Sen. Charles Schumer, a man...
  • Created a mask, thinking of applying for patent.

    01/22/2021 5:54:41 PM PST · by reasonisfaith · 60 replies
    The Universe of Masks | reasonisfaith
    I’m thinking of possibly marketing my product. The basic selling point is that the mask is completely invisible. With a small amount of additional effort I was able to add a second feature: you can’t feel the material it’s made from.
  • Impeachment is not Just About Trump: It’s About Intimidating his Supporters

    01/22/2021 7:01:58 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 26 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Many of you are no doubt wondering why it is that congressional Democrats and their shameful RINO supporters are intent upon going through with a Senate trial to finalize their latest scam impeachment of Donald J. Trump. After all, Mr. Trump is now a private citizen, and the impeachment process is clearly intended to be applied only to active holders of federal office by the Constitution. But, Constitution be damned, Nancy Pelosi made it clear yesterday that she and her fellow evil minions plan to force this process through to the bitter end in an effort to ban Trump from...
  • Strictly No Elephants

    01/22/2021 5:46:50 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-22-21 | MOTUS
    The wicked flee when no man pursueth; but the righteous are bold as a lion. – Proverbs 28:1Yes Virginia, there is an anti-Trumpest movement. It exists as certainly as hate and fear and malevolence exist and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest sense and purpose. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no anti-Trumpests! It would be as dreary as if there were no godless liberals. There would be no childlike faith in the State, no social justice, no delusional thinking to make tolerable this existence.So as you see, we need...
  • Friday News Roundup: China Joe Dutifully Moves to Consolidate the Swamp’s Grip on America

    01/22/2021 5:04:17 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 4 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Better get while the getting’s good. – If you plan to take one final trip before most travel in this country is banned by the federal government, you should take that trip very soon. Like this weekend. China Joe Potato Head Biden, the DC Swamp’s temporary designated sock puppet in the White House, issued a series of 10 executive orders late Thursday that are designed to basically weaponize the entirety of the U.S. government, including the military, to use the the viral gift from China as a justification to cement the Swamp’s looming police state into place. That police state...