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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • RFK Takes Extreme Abortion Stance [semi-satire]

    05/13/2024 10:34:15 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    In a bid to outflank Biden for the women's vote, independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. came out in favor of abortion at any time and for any reason up until birth, saying "every baby's death is a tragedy. Many of them leave permanent trauma on a woman. But I think, ultimately, I don't trust government to have jurisdiction over people's bodies." This announcement stunned RFK's running mate Nicole Shanahan who insisted "that is not Bobby's position, at least as far as I understand it. My understanding is that he absolutely believes in limits on abortion, and we've talked...
  • VIDEO: Donny Deutsch Claims Michael Cohen Is an Incredibly Credible Witness

    05/13/2024 7:41:43 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 17 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 13, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOMichael Cohen is a credible witness? Well, if Morning Joe's Donny Deutsch says so then it MUST be true.
  • VIDEO: The CNN Obvious TELL When Lying about NO Democrat Lawfare

    05/12/2024 1:02:02 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 8 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 12, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOThere is a very very obvious "Tell" that CNN uses when trying to deny that the Democrats are using Lawfare against President Donald Trump. It is when their reporters say "We know" that it's not true that the Democrats are using that Lawfare. CNN reporter Alayna Treene just recited this CNN Tell while pretending that the Democrats are not conducting Lawfare against President Trump when he brought up the topic at his Wildwood NJ speech. Keep looking for CNN to continue invoking "WE KNOW!" whenever trying to deny the OBVIOUS about Democrat Lawfare against President Trump.
  • Judge Weighing Trump Request [semi-satire]

    05/12/2024 8:34:55 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    Former President Donald Trump's unusual request to be given "liberty or death" after the latest gag order fine imposed on him by Judge Juan Merchan, who is presiding over the trial in New York City, is being taken under consideration. "Strictly speaking, it would not appear that a judge could normally decide whether to grant a plea of 'give me liberty or give me death,'" Merchan observed. "However, this is not a normal prosecution. Unprecedented actions have been taken to overrule the statute of limitations that normally would've prevented this trial from taking place. Charges that were previously dismissed by...
  • VIDEO: A Couple of Eurovision LOSERS

    05/12/2024 7:29:59 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 20 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 12, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOHere are a couple of Eurovision LOSERS, in every sense of the word, from Ireland and the UK. Somehow Eurovision has devolved into a Flaunt Fest Freak Show in which talent has split the scene. The funniest thing is contestants such as these idiots that have been supporting Hamas during the Eurovision contest would be IMMEDIATELY tossed off the rooftops if they ever ventured to places such as Gaza or Iran.
  • Biden Dismisses Soaring Prices [semi-satire]

    05/11/2024 10:21:16 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    This week in an interview with CNN's Erin Burnett, President Biden dismissed the 30% rise in food prices since he took office, saying "people can afford it. Thanks to Bidenomics, they have the money to spend. I've personally canceled billions of dollars in student debt. We're putting newly arrived immigrants up in hotels and feeding them. We're subsidizing electric vehicles so drivers don't have to pay high gas prices. Most of us have credit cards, savings, or EBTs. Many of our cities have effectively legalized shoplifting items of less than a thousand dollars. There's no crisis. The Republicans are gas-lighting...
  • VIDEO: Does This Princeton Hunger Striker Look Hungry to You?

    05/11/2024 6:31:33 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 21 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 11, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOBe honest. Does this Princeton hunger striker look like he's been fasting for eight days? I've never seen a hunger striker look so well fed. Obviously this guy has been hiding snacks in his Keffiyeh. Snickers? Cocoa Puffs? Gummi Bears? And now he wants others to join in with his Solidarity Hunger Strike Picnic. Yes, those Keffiyehs make great tablecloths to serve pizza slices on the sly.
  • FBI to Resume Election Censorship Activities [semi-satire]

    05/11/2024 1:15:22 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    Even though US District Court Judge Terry Doughty found the FBI's efforts to pressure social media companies to censor content the government maintained was disinformation violated the First Amendment and issued an injunction barring federal agencies from continuing the practice, Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va), chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, says "FBI spokesman William Truncheon informed me that they are gearing up to resume these efforts heading into the 2024 election season. Though Judge Doughty's ruling was upheld by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court lifted the injunction until it rules on the Murthy v. Missouri case...
  • VIDEO: Robotic Senator Bob Casey Rendered Mute by Gaza Brain Freeze

    05/10/2024 1:41:52 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 7 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOSenator Robert Casey Jr. who inherited a political career from his father Governor Robert Casey, Sr. has managed to get by for almost 20 years in the U.S. Senate by doing basically nothing but meaningless shuckin' and jivin' which, along with strong support from the Democrats, has managed to keep him in office. However, this year poor Casey is up for re-election and the Gaza issue threatens to divide his Democrat constituency especially since Joe Biden plans to resettle many Gazans in the USA, including Pennsylvania. Unfortunately for the Senate's Robby the Robot, he has not yet been programmed on...
  • VIDEO: Mike Johnson Discovers That He Is Flounder

    05/10/2024 9:44:24 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 34 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAll his life Mike Johnson thought he was Mike Johnson. And then on May 8, 2024, in the middle of an interview with Politico, Mike Johnson suddenly discovered that he is really Flounder.
  • VIDEO: 37 Year Old Eurovision Contestant Acts Like Petty Child While Israeli Singer Interviewed

    05/10/2024 6:57:44 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 12 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOWatch the incredible level of extremely childish pettiness displayed by Greek Eurovision contestant Marina Satti while Israeli contestant Eden Golan was being interviewed. However, don't blame Greece entirely for Satti's behavior. Although her mother is Greek, her father was a Sudanese Arab. It will be interesting to see if Satti will apologize SINCERELY for her horrible behavior or will she continue to act like a pathetic child.
  • VIDEO: Krystal Ball Claims Lawfare Cases Collapsing Due to Trump's Incredible Luck

    05/09/2024 4:20:53 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 23 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 9, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOIt somehow never seemed to occur to Krystal Ball of "Breaking Points" that all the Lawfare cases against President Donald Trump are collapsing for the very simple reason is that he is INNOCENT of all the absurd charges that the politically weaponized DOJ have thrown at him via the federal cases or the state cases which are also controlled by the DOJ minions. Instead Krystal claims the Lawfare cases have collapsed not because they are pathetically weak and absurd but because Donald Trump is the "luckiest man on the planet." Even more startling was the reaction of her co-host, Sagaar...
  • VIDEO: Liberal Tears Over Florida Docs Trial Indefinite Delay

    05/09/2024 8:49:57 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 6 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 9, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOFederal Judge Aileen Cannon in Florida indefinitely DELAYED the Mar-a-Lago documents trial. As expected liberal tears flowed including from the usual suspects such as MSNBC's Glenn Kirschner. Oh, and a word of advice to liberals whining about the delay of that trial, please don't use the STAGED photo by the FBI showing documents strewn all over the floor. Jack Smith already admitted to the evidence tampering that will probably lead to that case being tossed when or if it ever goes to trial.
  • Research Discovers Women Will Support Any Cause No Matter How Murderous So Long As They Get To Wear A Scarf

    05/08/2024 11:49:33 AM PDT · by DFG · 16 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/08/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — New research has discovered that women will throw their support behind any cause, no matter how violent and sexist, as long as they get to wear a scarf. "So, let me get this straight: this cause treats women as property, believes raping women an acceptable form of violence, and vows to murder innocent civilians - but I get to wear a scarf?" asked local college student Danielle Walker. "That sounds amazing! Sign me up!" Though researchers had posited that women would be turned off to a cause where men take videos of themselves butchering children, they were surprised...
  • Dead Worm Found In RFK Jr.’s Brain Already Polling Higher Than Biden In 11 States

    05/08/2024 11:47:07 AM PDT · by DFG · 13 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/08/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — Following the revelation that a deadly parasite was once removed from his skull, political experts were shocked to learn that the dead worm found in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.'s brain was already polling higher than Joe Biden in 11 states. The latest poll results indicated a large portion of the electorate had abandoned Biden in favor of the deceased parasite that had previously been lodged in RFK Jr.'s brain, leaving the White House scrambling to formulate a strategy to combat the dead worm. "We weren't expecting to see numbers like these," said one high-ranking Biden campaign strategist under...
  • Problems with the Classified Documents Case? [semi-satire]

    05/08/2024 11:09:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    This week, the case against former President Trump for mishandling classified documents took some surprising turns. Investigative journalist Julie Kelly discovered that the boxes of documents seized from Trump's Mara-La-Go home were boxes that the General Services Administration told Trump he needed to take off their hands. He is now being tried for having these documents in his possession against the wishes of the National Archives. Despite claiming he had no role in the decision to prosecute Trump for unauthorized possession of classified documents--something he has done, but was excused because of his dementia--newly unredacted documents reveal that President Biden...
  • modern sayings for a woke generation

    05/07/2024 2:29:42 PM PDT · by Peter ODonnell · 5 replies
    original to Free Republic | May 7, 2024 | Peter O'Donnell
    For a woke generation ... The early bird triggers the worm. A stitch in time is another example of white privilege. If you can't say something good, post on the internet. Early to bed and early to rise cuts into your party time considerably. If at first you don't succeed, join the Democrats. Always avoid the sunny side of the street. If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs, you will be ostracized for showing off. Inky Dinky Spider was a racist construct subtly denigrating people of color. Red skies at night, global warming. Give...
  • Biden's Economic Advisor Doesn't Understand Economics [semi-satire]

    05/07/2024 12:06:23 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    The unbroken string of economic disasters that is Bidenomics now has a solid explanation. Jared Bernstein, the Chairman of the President's Council of Economic Advisers doesn't understand economics. While being interviewed for the newly released documentary Finding the Money, he was unable to explain how the Federal Reserve creates money--something I taught to freshmen in macroeconomics classes for 23 years. "The government definitely prints money, and it definitely lends that money by selling bonds," Bernstein guessed. "Is that what they do? They sell bonds, yeah, they sell bonds. Right? Since they sell bonds, and people buy the bonds and lend...
  • VIDEO: Ka-CHING! Washed Up Former Congressman Walsh Embraces TDS for Cash

    05/07/2024 11:40:42 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 8 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 7, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO Former Congressman Joe Walsh has been in a nosedive ever since his infamous 2011 Town Hall meltdown in which he attacked his own constituents. Of course, he lost his next election and proceeded to dive further into the depths of economic desperation and mental depravity until he discovered that if only he sold his soiled soul and embraced the TDS left he could earn a few pieces of silver they tossed his way for performing anti-Trump propaganda tricks for them. Look for more and more broadcast appearances by PATHETIC Joe Walsh the closer to Election Day we get. Oh,...
  • 12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is

    05/07/2024 10:58:04 AM PDT · by DFG · 27 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/07/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — A new wave of controversy erupted as 12 women came forward alleging they had been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump's vice presidential pick would end up being. The damning allegations began to come in despite the fact that Trump has yet to officially name a running mate or even disclose whether the pick is a man or a woman. Sources confirmed at least a dozen highly credible accusers emerged to demand justice against whoever the VP candidate might be. "Whoever the VP pick is, I am here to tell my story of how I was inappropriately touched by...