Free Republic

The notion that Greenland's population likes being governed by Denmark may not be correct. Native Greenlander Amarok Petersen was 27 years old when she learned that the reason she cannot have children. Danish doctors had implanted an IUD birth control device in her body it when she was 13 as part of a population control program for thousands of native Greenlandic girls and women. "I will never have children," Petersen complained. "That choice was taken from me." Prime Minister of Denmark Mette Frederiksen, impatiently pointed out, "we have already officially apologized for the decades of forced sterilization of indigenous women...

SAINT PAUL, MN — With tensions between ICE agents and leftist protesters in Minneapolis running high, Governor Tim Walz said he was willing to do anything to keep Minnesota residents safe except cooperate with federal law enforcement. Walz, the failed vice presidential candidate who will not be seeking re-election as governor, said he would exhaust every potential solution to stop the bloodshed except for working with ICE to enforce immigration laws in Minnesota. "I'm open to any solution but that one," Walz told reporters. "I am here to serve and protect the residents of the great state of Minnesota and...

FBI Director Kash Patel announced that "the FBI has captured more of this country's 'most wanted fugitives' in the last year than were captured during the whole four years Biden was president." Christopher Wray, the FBI Director appointed by President Trump and retained by President Biden until the end of his presidency, called Patel's comparison "unfair. We could've easily racked up many more arrests of the most wanted over the four years Biden held the office, but we were given different priorities. President Biden made it clear that our top priority was to go after what was then the former...

A reporter from NewsNation went to Maine and discovered that the favored Somali scam in that state is federally subsidized healthcare. "In one building I visited there were ten Somali healthcare offices," the reporter said. "However, no one recalls ever seeing any patients there. The landlord says 'the only time I see anybody is when they pay the monthly rent. When I asked one of them how's business, he said there's more than one teat on the federal subsidy camel.'" This report inspired ICE to schedule an enforcement raid. Gov. Janet Mills (D) called the raid "unwelcome. I have advised...

Gov. Tim Walz (D-Minn) assailed ICE for detaining a 5-year-old child, saying "Minnesotans want safety. They want freedom. They want what's best for our kids. Masked agents snatching preschoolers off the street and sending them to Texas detention centers serves none of those purposes." Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) echoed Walz, claiming "the detention of a child proves that ICE's assertion they are seeking the worst of the worst immigrants is a lie." Former Democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton, fresh from being held in contempt by a bipartisan vote in the US House of Representatives Oversight and Government Reform Committee for...

NEW YORK, NY — The woman behind YouTube's most popular and beloved educational content for children found herself in hot water, as Ms. Rachel issued a public apology for accidentally spray-painting "GO AWAY JEWS" on a synagogue. The internet personality was embroiled in controversy after witnesses reported seeing her run angrily up to a local synagogue and spray-paint the antisemitic message on the wall of the building, an act she later said was completely unintentional. "It was never my intent to do something hateful," Ms. Rachel said in a tearful video posted to social media. "When I spray-painted that antisemitic...

U.S. — Tragedy unfolded at a sporting event over the weekend, as a professional athlete was struck by lightning after unexcusably failing to thank Jesus Christ for giving his team the victory in the game. The traumatic incident occurred following the Los Angeles Rams' playoff win over the Chicago Bears, as Rams second-string longsnapper Garrett Drift met with the media during the team's postgame press conference. "It was a hard-fought win, I'm glad we were able to pull it off," Drift began when asked by a journalist about the game. "We really pulled together as a team, we focused on...

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Another long day of work was on the docket, as white liberal women clocked in for another long day of protesting the arrest of migrant sex offenders. Progressive women emerged from their homes and headed into work for a full day of yelling at ICE agents and obstructing law enforcement who would be out working to arrest sex offenders and other violent criminals here in the country illegally. "It's honest work," Amanda Hanks posted on Instagram. "I'm out here every day protecting innocent pedophiles, rapists, and sex offenders, but it's exhausting. I'd love a day off, but...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of the executive order to bring back mental institutions, President Trump announced this morning that he would begin by converting the entire city of Minneapolis into an insane asylum. The new executive order aims to stem violence from people on the streets with severe psychiatric conditions, such as the population of Minneapolis. "It's going to be a big, beautiful loony bin," said Trump of the new project. "We're going to drop a big building right on top the city to keep all the nutsos safe inside. People say it's mean, but it's really the nice...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democratic lawmakers once again called on the Department of Justice to reign in ICE officers, fearful that mass deportations will make illegals afraid to vote. "I am afraid that if we don't end these ICE raids soon, illegal aliens will be too afraid to illegally vote in our elections," Senator Chuck Schumer said. "That's why I'm calling on our president to step in and do the right thing by no longer executing the law." According to sources, undocumented migrants are much less likely to vote as a result of ongoing ICE arrests and may not even bother...

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, at the completion of the first year of Trump's second term as president, the number of federal employees has declined by 271,000. "We campaigned on cutting back the bloated bureaucracy and we have made considerable progress," Trump boasted. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) disagreed, saying "this isn't something I would be bragging about. More than 200,000 folks have lost the financial security that only government employment can offer. Just think about it. These folks have been cast out of the warmth of the collective and into the frigid private sector where competition...

President Trump sharply criticized President Obama's Affordable Care Act (ACA), saying "time has shown that this plan is not affordable and does not provide the results promised. The majority of those on the ACA were not able to keep their doctors. Nearly half of those on the ACA have just a single provider where they live. The premiums they must pay are high as are the deductibles. Most would've fared better if they had been allowed to buy catastrophic coverage, but the ACA didn't allow that. We need a better system." "My Great Healthcare Plan shifts the decision-making authority to...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the American public demanding action be taken by the government in response to aggressive and violent leftist protests across the country, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi promised to prosecute Minnesota rioters as soon as she finishes releasing all those Epstein files. Bondi responded to the outrage after days of lawlessness in Minneapolis and other cities by assuring the American people that the individuals behind the violent riots and disturbances of church services would be held accountable after she had looked through the pile of Epstein documents that were sitting on her desk. "I'll get to it...

ST. PAUL, MN — According to sources, membership at a local pentecostal church failed to notice when protestors stormed the building and began screaming at everyone because it wasn't at all dissimilar from a typical pentecostal service. Church membership at Golgotha Holy Fire Victory Pentecostal was reportedly overjoyed at the influx of visitors who joined them to speak in strange tongues, shove each other, and roll all over the floor. Church leadership called it the most successful service they'd ever had. "Those people had the Spirit on them, no doubt," said longtime member Steve Winthrop. "What a blessing!" Disgraced former...

Desperate to generate events that will help push the fraud scandal out of the current news, Gov. Tim (D) and Mayor Jacob Frey (D) have been goading folks to continue their efforts to impede ICE's enforcement activities. Some of these efforts include: At an ICE traffic stop, agents attempted to arrest Julio Cesar Sosa-Celis, an illegal alien from Venezuela with previous arrests and convictions. Sosa-Celis resisted arrest, fled in his car and was pursued by one of the ICE agents. After Sosa-Celis crashed into another car he attempted to flee on foot, and was tackled by the ICE agent. During...

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Antifa has flooded the streets of Minneapolis to protest against violence by viciously beating innocent bystanders. In objection to perceived harsh tactics by masked ICE agents, the protesters have donned masks and begun pummeling hapless citizens who wander too close. "This will teach them to be more civil," said local protester Dani Markham, as she dragged a random old man out of his car. "We're going to stand up to these ICE goons by beating this old man within an inch of his life. Bite the curb, old-timer. No more violence in Minneapolis!" According to witnesses, Antifa...

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Following recent developments stemming from political protests and clashes with the federal government across the state, Minnesota announced that it had changed the official state bird to a screaming lesbian. After the recent spate of screaming lesbians, state officials agreed that a change was needed to modernize the official state bird and make it more fitting and identifiable as embodying what everyone thinks of when they think of Minnesota. "It's much more of a natural fit," Governor Tim Walz said in a statement to reporters. "Yes, we've had the loon as our state bird for many years,...

Twenty-three states run by Democrats have refused to share their voter registration data with the federal government. US Attorney General Pam Bondi has argued that "clean voter rolls are the foundation of free and fair elections, Every state has a responsibility to ensure that voter registration records are accurate, accessible, and secure. Otherwise, ineligible voters will be able to cancel out the votes of eligible voters. This is why we are suing." US District Judge David Carter dismissed the suit saying, "right there in her statement is the clear intent to limit the opportunity to vote. Democracy is only safe...

With affordability expected to be a key factor in deciding the outcome of the 2026 elections, Mayor Zohran Mamdani (D-NY) says he is giving his top housing advisor Cea Weaver "free rein. She has some fabulous ideas that will greatly reduce the cost of housing for the masses." "The major impediment to efficiently housing our population is the notion that the middle-class should be home-owners," Weaver insisted. "They are lured into this trap by the notion that owning a home can help them build equity and grow their wealth. This is bourgeois nonsense. Private home-ownership is riddled with costly redundancies...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Supreme Court took a break from deliberations regarding individuals competing in sports designated for the opposite sex to bring in an expert five-year-old boy to explain the difference between boys and girls."Boys have wee-wees and girls have vee-vees," said Hunter Plath, a five-year-old boy from Iowa.According to court records, the explanation elicited various responses from the justices. Justices Sonia Sotomayor and Ketanji Brown Jackson were seemingly astonished, saying, "Ohhhhhhhh!" Associate Justice Brett M. Kavanaugh only giggled.Justice Clarence Thomas reportedly rolled his eyes as the two most liberal justices of the court followed up with questions on...