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Keyword: satire

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  • Trump's Anti-Weaponization Fund Assailed [semi-satire]

    06/01/2026 11:17:39 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2026 | John Semmens
    President Trump's attempt to donate the $1.8 billion settlement he reached with the Internal Revenue Service for publicly releasing his personal income tax data to an "Anti-Weaponization Fund" that would make compensation payments to individuals wrongly targeted by the government has run into some opposition. Virginia US District Judge Leonie Brinkema has issued an order saying "the administration cannot take any action pursuant to the creation or operation of the Anti-Weaponization Fund, which includes the transferring of money to the Fund; the consideration of any claims submitted to the Fund; and the disbursing of any funds from the Fund." California...
  • Black accomplishments 101: I never realized that black folks had invented so many useful things that we take for granted today.

    06/01/2026 10:22:00 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 94 replies
    American Thinker ^ | 06/01/2026 | Bill Ponton
    Ever since high school, we have all been made aware of black accomplishments with each occasion of black history month in February. There was Harriet Tubman’s railroad and Rosa Parks’s bus seat, but most memorable of all, was George Washington Carver who invented the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, which was a mainstay of kid’s lunches until nervous white mothers had it banned from schools. Apart from those recollections, I have not given much thought to the cultural legacy of blacks, except for their music, dance, and comedy. However, around the time of George Floyd, I started to hear common...
  • Firefighters Complain About Mayor Bass [semi-satire]

    05/31/2026 11:27:59 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 6 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2026 | John Semmens
    In Los Angeles, City firefighters are lashing out at Mayor Karen Bass' neglect to sufficiently budget for fire safety. Councilwoman Traci Park, the lone dissenter on the City Council's priorities for spending said "here we are a year and a half after the worst disaster in our city's history, and our fire department investments are being deferred. Our firefighters are being asked to do more with less. Response times have lengthened. Work shifts have become longer and some paychecks have been missed." The Mayor insisted that "the fact that Park is consistently one vote against the fifteen other Council members...
  • California Acts to Lighten Penalties for Crimes [semi-satire]

    05/30/2026 11:59:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2026 | John Semmens
    In 2024, California voters approved Proposition 36 by majorities in every one of the state's 58 counties. This proposition boosted penalties for repeat offenders of smash-and-grab thefts, organized retail crime, and open drug dealing. Assemblywoman LaShae Sharp-Collins (D-district 79) felt that "making repeated retail thefts a felony is too harsh. Such thefts are an inevitable outcome in a society where poor people lack the money needed to legally acquire the things they need or want. Shoplifting is a relatively peaceful way of overcoming the deprivation of not having a job or the income to afford stuff. Rather than trying to...
  • California Dems Take Action to Impede Reporting Crime [semi-satire]

    05/30/2026 1:13:04 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2026 | John Semmens
    This week, the California Assembly passed the "Stop Nick Shirley Act," (Assembly Bill 2624). The legislation was written and sponsored by Assemblywoman Mia Bonta (D-district 18) "to counter the reign of terror being waged by amateur reporter Nick Shirley against organizations receiving public funds to carry out desperately needed services for poorer members of our society. Mr. Shirley and others who would eagerly follow his methods of asking to see actual services being provided to beneficiaries are undermining taxpayers' faith and trust in how the state government is handling this money." "My bill bans the taking of any photographs or...
  • Gunshot Detection Technology Disabled [semi-satire]

    05/27/2026 12:28:31 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    The city of Cambridge in Massachusetts has disabled its gunshot detection system--ShotSpotter--under pressure from leftist political activists. Stephanie Guirand, a member of the group "The Black Response" pointed out that "it disproportionately affects racial and ethnic groups that have higher propensities to commit crimes using guns than white folks. This is intrinsically racist and should not be allowed. Let the police use the investigation techniques they used before this technology existed." Spencer Piston, a Boston University political science professor, said "this technology could lead to more arrests of undocumented immigrants. Arrests mean fingerprints, mug shots, and addresses will be recorded...
  • We are the world - led by Trump

    05/27/2026 12:40:21 AM PDT · by Eleutheria5 · 9 replies
    Miri Ben-Ari ^ | 3/3/25 | Miri Ben-Ari
    World leaders join Trump in verbatim rendition of Michael Jackson iconic song.
  • Mother of Trans Track Star Complains [semi-satire]

    05/26/2026 10:17:09 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 11 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Trans athlete AB Hernandez came in first at three events during a recent California Interscholastic Federation Southern Section championship final: long jump, high jump and triple jump. Girls who finished second to him were allowed to share the victor's podium. Nereyda Hernandez, AB's mother complained "my trans girl beat those cis girls fair and square. Making AB share the podium with those losers was a travesty that devalued the ceremony. It's time that everyone admits that there is more to being a girl than just DNA. AB has the courage and the work ethic to overcome being short-changed with the...
  • "We Must Break the Spirit of MAGA People"

    05/25/2026 11:04:29 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 44 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    This week, House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-NY) spoke before the 2026 CAP IDEAS Conference that was hosted by the Center for American Progress, saying "first, as a guarantee, we are taking back control of the United States House of Representatives in November. As I speak, we have thousands of people in the field registering as many new voters as we can. People like 64-year-old Californian Brenda Lee Brown Armstrong who has been registering homeless skid row folks for the last 20 years. She lets them use her home address so the mail-in ballots the state sends to every registered...
  • Death of the Late Show

    05/24/2026 10:24:10 AM PDT · by Rummyfan · 27 replies
    X ^ | 24 May 2026 | Peter Girnus
    I am the Senior Vice President of Late Night Strategy at CBS. I am the person who turned a comedian into a priest and charged advertisers to watch the congregation. I want to be precise about what I built. Not a comedy show. A permission structure. For eleven years, six million Americans tuned in every night to find out what they were allowed to believe by morning. We didn't sell jokes. We sold certainty. Certainty costs nothing to produce. People will pay anything for it. We charged $50 million a year and still lost money because it turns out permission...
  • Immigrant Crime Wave in Denmark [semi-satire]

    05/24/2026 10:38:03 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Unlike many other European countries, Denmark has been pretty restrictive in admitting Muslims into their country. Consequently, these immigrant populations are quite low compared to places like France, Sweden, and the United Kingdom. Also unlike other European countries, Denmark keeps meticulous statistics on the ethnicity of persons who commit serious crimes. These statistics show that disproportionate numbers of offenders are immigrants. In the category of attempted homicide, Somalis are 27 times as likely as Danes to be arrested for this crime, Moroccans and Palestinians are 20 times as likely, Iraqis are 13 times as likely, Pakistanis are 10 times as...
  • Liam Neeson Criticized For Killing 31 Innocent Human Traffickers Just To Get Back One Hostage

    06/11/2024 3:02:57 AM PDT · by xp38 · 25 replies
    The Babylon Bee ^ | June 8 2024 | The Babylon Bee
    WORLD — Authorities across the globe have forcefully condemned Liam Neeson for killing dozens of kindly human traffickers just to save one lousy hostage. "We are absolutely disgusted by this rampage of violence against innocent human traffickers trying to make a living," said U.S. Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "One measly little hostage is no excuse for Neeson's horrific actions." According to sources, Neeson began hunting down the human traffickers after they kidnapped his daughter to sell as a sex slave. "Terrorists violently taking his daughter to rape is simply no justification for violence," said British politician Jeremy Corbyn. "We called...
  • Democrat Wants Zionist Internment Camps [semi-satire]

    05/23/2026 10:23:37 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Maureen Galindo, a Democrat running for Congress in Texas Congressional District-35, wants "to save America from the devious schemes of Zionist Jews by incarcerating them in internment camps. I'm not against Jews per se. Jews who are simply members of the proletariat who wait in line with fellow citizens to buy bread or are toiling beside each other on the collective farms are acceptable, but those who have money and influence--running big businesses, Hollywood studios, media firms and donating millions to political candidates--are dangerous to our democracy. We need to neutralize their power. The best way to do that is...
  • Congresswoman Denies Knowledge of Fraud [semi-satire]

    05/23/2026 12:24:51 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 14 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2026 | John Semmens
    This week, Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-Minn) denied allegations that she knew about the fraud for which Aimee Bock was sentenced to 41 years in federal prison. "I know she says I knew about the scheme to steal millions of dollars in federal funds meant to feed hungry children," Omar said, "but how credible are her claims? The sentencing judge called Bock a dishonest criminal mastermind who has done profound and lasting damage to the community and state, that her conduct was not an impulsive one-time error; it was sustained, organized, and aggressively pursued." "Now, Bock is a convicted felon," Omar...
  • Candidate Steals Campaign Mail [semi-satire]

    05/19/2026 10:35:30 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Max Morley, a Democrat seeking to unseat Daniel Grossberg as Kentucky State Representative in the 30th House District, was caught on a home security camera stealing a Grossberg campaign flyer from a voter's mail box. Morley admitted to "a lack of judgment. This isn't acceptable, and it's something I'm deeply sorry for. I apologize to the homeowner. I want one thing to remain clear: voters in HD 30 deserve better than their current representative, and I don't want them to be distracted from the ultimate goal of sending him home." Louisville Democratic Party Vice Chair Rosalind Welch said "I was...
  • 8 Scary Facts About Data Centers

    05/19/2026 10:07:29 AM PDT · by dayglored · 41 replies
    The Bee ^ | May 18, 2026 | The Bee
    (Image Matthew G Eddy / Shutterstock) AI uses a lot of power, and it needs massive data centers to support it. That's why, despite data centers having existed for decades, people are suddenly running for the hills. But do they have a reason to be afraid? You be the judge. Here are the scariest facts about data centers: Data centers are the ugliest buildings on earth: Ancient Greeks never built utilitarian buildings. They're almost as bad as nuclear power plants: And 100 times more deadly. They drink up one whole ocean per ChatGPT query: We might need the oceans...
  • Labor Union Warns Voters About Pratt [semi-satire]

    05/18/2026 10:13:20 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Independent Los Angeles mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt's impressive showing in the debate with his two main rivals for the job has shaken up the race. First, in an online poll 90% of debate viewers declared Pratt the winner of the debate. Second, both the incumbent Mayor Karen Bass (Democrat) and Councilmember Nithya Raman (Socialist) have dropped out of a second scheduled debate. Third, further debates have been canceled. Fourth, Pratt's campaign ads are being called some of the best political commercials ever seen. Former Vice President Kamala Harris announced her endorsement of Karen Bass: "Mayor Karen Bass is the leader...
  • Photo of Trump in China Stirs Controversy [semi-satire]

    05/17/2026 11:47:00 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 23 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens
    Recently published photos of President Trump sharing a toast during a formal dinner on his visit to China were cited as "additional evidence for impeaching him" by Rep. John Larson (D-Conn). "I've already filed articles of impeachment. Donald Trump has blown past every requirement to be removed from office. And it's getting worse. People across my district know he is unfit to lead and are calling for impeachment. Now that he has demonstrated that his claim that he never touches alcohol is a bare-faced lie it's time the rest of Congress joins me in voting to start the process of...
  • Death Row Inmates Watching Porn [semi-satire]

    05/16/2026 9:38:51 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens
    In California, 90,000 prisoners have been issued computer tablets so they can connect with the outside world. While the tablets are free, usage fees may be charged to inmates. Text messages are five cents each. Video calls are 16 cents per minute. Movie rentals are $9 each and must be viewed within 48 hours. Inmate Grace Coleman complained "we can't afford to pay these normal world prices." State Sen. Josh Becker (D-13th district) agrees and says "it's the injustice of the whole thing. And not only injustice, but also the illogical nature of charging in a world where telecommunications costs...
  • Are the Attempts to Kill Trump Real? [semi-satire]

    05/16/2026 12:51:40 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 18 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 17 May 2026 | John Semmens
    This week, a National Public Radio (NPR) headline asserted "new poll finds a majority of Americans unsure if attempts on Trump's life were real." The article went on to disclose that "30% of Americans think at least one of those incidents was staged. Forty-five percent said each of the attempts was real." That leaves about 25% in the "unsure" category. The poll was conducted by NewsGuard/YouGov. NewsGuard has been a left-wing "fact checker" since it was founded in 2018. NPR's federal government funding was recently withdrawn for its consistent left-wing bias. In the July 2024 attempt at a Trump campaign...