Posted on 08/07/2025 2:33:53 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-gerrymanders-us-to-include-canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The geopolitical balance of power appeared to experience a significant shift this week, as President Donald Trump announced that he had gerrymandered the United States of America to now include Canada.
The savvy political maneuver by Trump completed his plan to annex Canada, simultaneously solving the U.S.'s trade deficit with its northern neighbor while also now merging the two nations into one supercountry that possessed the largest maple syrup reserve in the world.
"It's done. I drew the line myself," Trump told reporters in the Oval Office after unveiling the order. "I'm the president, and I have the power to draw the borders. This is something the president can do, everyone agrees. I included Canada, which is now our big, beautiful 51st state. Gerrymandering. It's a tremendous thing."
Critics of the move immediately protested the gerrymandering, calling it illegal and labeling it a plot by Republicans to allow notoriously conservative moose to vote for GOP candidates in future elections. "More Republican tricks," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We know what's going on here. We can see right through Trump's scheme to guarantee every election goes his way. There's a reason it's called ‘The Great WHITE North,' that's all I'm saying."
When reached for comment, the former prime minister (and now governor) of Canada, Mark Carney, said he disagreed with the change, but his inherent Canadian politeness prohibited him from putting up a fight. "Not a fan," he said. "But we'll just go with it so there's no trouble, eh?"
At publishing time, Trump had reportedly held a phone call with the president of Mexico to let her know that her country would be gerrymandered next if she didn't agree to a new trade deal.
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Biden actually did effectively gerrymandered by importing 1/4 of Mexico.
Yes to Alberta, Saskatchewan, (maybe Manitoba), NW Territories and Yukon. Maybe we can capture BC east of the metro Vancouver area, too.
No to the rest of that cesspool.
Alberta.
And Quebec, but only as a Puerto Rico like territory so it keeps it’s own language, borders and culture.
I would say, the Democrats would welcome this.
I do not think, Republicans could ever win election since.
Bad signature. 6/10.
Exactly.
Well, that would wipe out any GOP seats gained by a citizen-only census. The leftism is strong up there.
No, not the woke provinces!
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