Humor (General/Chat)
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NFL Live Thread: Week 7 Thursday, October 17, 2019 (All Times Eastern) Kansas City at Denver 8:20 pm FOX-NFL Network-Amazon Prime Video Empower Field at Mile High Sunday, October 20, 2019 Miami at Buffalo 1:00 pm CBS New Era Field L.A. Rams at Atlanta 1:00 pm FOX Mercedes-Benz Stadium Minnesota at Detroit 1:00 pm FOX Ford Field Oakland at Green Bay 1:00 pm CBS Lambeau Field San Fransciso at Washington 1:00 pm FOX FedEx Field Jacksonville at Cincinnati 1:00 pm CBS Paul Brown Stadium Houston at Indianapolis 1:00 pm CBS Lucas Oil Stadium Arizona at N.Y. Giants 1:00 pm FOX...
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Gov. Newsom signed the Lunch Shaming Law today and the first arrest was made within hours of the signing. 3rd Grader Samantha White of San Francisco was charged with felony lunch shaming at her elementary school. School security officers arrested and transported Samantha to police headquarters after receiving complaints from the school staff. From her mother, it was learned that Samantha had taken a lunch to school which consisted of a Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwich, bag of chips and bannana. When Samantha started eating her lunch, with the approved carton of white milk, her classmates were immediately "lunch shamed" when they...
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Post #12. With so many rats running for president in 2020 it's hard to keep up with who's in and who's out. Hopefully, this post will help. Below is a list of declared candidates, their occupation, the date they dropped from the race (if they did) and misc. notes. This thread will be reposted each week, likely on Monday, with the dropouts from the previous week and newly declared candidates noted. Sorry this is so boring. For the third week in a row, no one quit. Newly declared candidates from last week: none, thankfully, but ya never know. Please let...
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Clever and well written. https://www.youtube.com/embed/ _43f9RzAqMM
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DAILY FAIL: The most current truth from around the world TODAY'S HEADLINES: North Korea publishes satellite image of California at night CALIFORNIA STRONG: "Five dollar a gallon gas is no big deal 'cuz there's no electricity to run the pumps anyway." DEPORTATIONS ARE COMING: California Governor Gavin Newsom blames electricity blackouts on Russian kulaks, vows revenge. CLIMATE STUDY: "There's no need for climate protests in China because China is already communist." NBA replaces U.S. anthem with China's, encourages players to kneel. Ushanka tip to Margaret and Mi for the headlines, and to ThePeoplesComrade for the Daily Fail concept.
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Adam Schiff Reads Nursery Rhymes https://www.trendsmap.com/twitter/tweet/1183203702540251136
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From 1995... After a white man (Artie Lange) accidentally hits a black woman with his car, her soul enters his body . He raises her daughter, Shaquana Curtis (Debra Wilson), whose boyfriend, Robert (Phil LaMarr), Mrs. Curtis disapproves of. MadTV - That's My White Mama
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Recently, while I was working in the flower beds in the front yard, my neighbors stopped to chat as they returned home from walking their dog. During our friendly conversation, I asked their little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up. She said she wanted to be President someday. Both of her parents, Democratic Party members, were standing there so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?" She replied... "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people." Her parents beamed with pride! "Wow...what a worthy goal!"...
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A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and...
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CHINA (ABC10) - A male cat needed veterinary intervention after he managed to mate with at least five female cats during an escape from his cage. He wandered after being freed from his pet hotel cage in South China's Guangdong Province, according to the Daily Mail. Xiaopi, a Russian Blue, was not neutered. Surveillance cameras saw most of the cat's activity in the area. The cat's owner blamed hotel staff for the escape and resulting medical issues. "My f***ing cat is exhausted and on a glucose drip, and this is my fault?" the New Zealand Herald reports the owner said....
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Happy Halloween! (Zombie Cyborg Warren Zevon appears courtesy of the Necronomicon.)
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U.S.—The NBA has found itself at odds with its lucrative Chinese market, and the league is doing its best to appease the Chinese government. In a move intended to patch things up with China, the NBA announced that President Xi Jinping has made the All-Star team this year. The president will tower under the competition at an intimidating 5'11". Especially threatening to the opposing team will be the president's ability to imprison or execute any player who dunks on him. He is also expected to execute players on his own team who speak out against him or suggest he's unfit...
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Hillary Clinton says she may decide to run for a second term as President of her Imagination. “I beat Trump once, I can beat him again,” said Mrs. Clinton, before falling off her barstool, rolling under a table, banging her head on a chair leg, and lapsing into a period of unconsciousness during which she dreamed that she really was president and all the people loved her so very, very much. Mrs. Clinton made the remarks after Donald Trump sent out a tweet reminding his followers of Clinton’s history of corruption going back forty years. “Those are all old, old...
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U.S. President Donald Trump tours a section of the southern border wall, Wednesday, Sept. 18, 2019, in Otay Mesa, Calif.(AP Photo/Evan Vucci) In a video posted online, an eight-year-old girl clambers up a replica of the border wall that U.S. President Donald Trump has called "virtually impenetrable." Mom Karla Hancock posted a video of little Lucy Hancock scaling a wooden wall model in Kentucky, ahead of a border-wall climbing competition there next weekend. As she climbs up the wall, Lucy wears a belay, a safety harness designed to catch a falling climber. "We were able to help perform preliminary...
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FULL TITLE: Haunted House For Progressives Just Normal Conservative Man's Home Containing Bibles, Guns, And A Copy Of The Constitution PORTLAND, OR—It's that time of year where houses, churches, and businesses around the neighborhood begin opening up their haunted houses for those seeking a good fright. One haunted house in Portland is promising progressives the scariest experience of all: a tour of a regular conservative guy's home. The home contains a sizable collection of guns, several Bibles, a few American flags, some pictures of Ronald Reagan, and of course, a copy of the Constitution. "I can't look!" screamed one progressive...
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New Law Requires You To Listen To Greta Thunberg Lecture Before Purchasing GasolineOctober 7th, 2019 U.S.—A series of new bills working their way through state legislatures in New York, California, Oregon, Hawaii, and several other progressive states will require you to listen to a Greta Thunberg lecture before purchasing gasoline. Motorists will be required to watch a 20-minute lecture by the 16-year-old climate activist before they purchase gallons and gallons of harmful fossil fuels. "We want to make sure drivers are informed," said California Governor Gavin Newsom, who says he will sign the bill into law. "So we are having...
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