Muslim Socialist Wins Democrat Primary for NYC Mayor [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 29 June 2025 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Though former Governor Andrew Cuomo entered the Democrat primary for Mayor of New York City as the favorite, the less well known State Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani came out on top. His campaign promises included globalizing the intifada, budgeting $65 million for transgender medical care, replacing police with social workers to combat crime, and funding government grocery stores so free food can be provided to fight hunger.

Sen Kirsten Gillibrand asserted that "New York City is home to the largest Jewish population in the country. If a democratic socialist is serious about governing here he must openly denounce globalizing the intifada not endorse it."

Gov. Kathy Hochul said "Mamdani's plan to fund his socialist wet dream by raising taxes on the rich won't work. Our state's taxes on the rich are already so high that they are leaving in droves and slicing billions off of the revenues we have been used to getting."

Long time Democrat strategist James Carville called Mamdani's victory "potentially damaging for the Democratic Party. Openly embracing socialism is going to frighten a lot of folks. Socialism led to poverty and oppression in Russia and China. Endorsing the intifada evokes images of Muslim terrorists butchering Jews in Israel. I can't imagine that any Democrat candidate in any race across the country can totally escape being at least a bit tainted by Mamdani's unfortunate victory."

In related news, during a CNN panel discussion of the "terrible Islamophobic attacks against the newly elected Democrat mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani," former Rep. Congressman Jamaal Bowman (D-NY) asserted that "the systemic racism of American whites is making Blacks sick. Heart disease, cancer, obesity, and diabetes are bigger in the Black community because of the stress we carry from having to deal with being called the n-word out loud or silently every day. I was impressed to see that Mamdani says he will levy a tax on whites to fund these medical problems caused by their racism."

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TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: bowman; carville; hochul; satire

[Rappini]

I mentioned in an earlier post that this nimrod was born in Russia which I heard from local TV, I was wrong he was born in Uganda, so this is my correction, I’m fessing up.

[PTBAA]

Twenty four years ago Islam successfully carried out a horrific attack on New York City, but NYC survived. NY Democrats just nominated a Communist Moslem that will finish the job.

[Dick Bachert]

THIS WOULD BE HUGE ‼️

MTG introducing a bill to mandate the census ONLY COUNT US CITIZENS in determining congressional seats

I just asked Grok and Grok confirms when you exclude illegals from the Census, Democrats are estimated TO LOSE 27 SEATS IN CONGRESS

THE END OF DEMOCRATS

https://x.com/WallStreetApes/status/1939757219261948264

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

Those who are attacked by his supporters, claiming they are “Islamophobic”, should deny it, saying instead that they are “Socialism-ophobic”.