Posted on 07/29/2026 12:40:26 PM PDT by DFG
AFGHANISTAN — Members of the Al-Qaeda terrorist organization are reportedly kicking themselves for all of the work they did pulling off 9/11 when they could have just run for mayor of New York City.
Al-Qaeda leader (Emir) Saif al-Adel admitted to feeling quite jealous of Zohran Mamdani's success as mayor and wishes he had thought of it.
"Boy, do I have egg on my face. Let me tell you, it was a terrible idea in retrospect," Saif said. "All of my friend got killed, and I could have just run for mayor instead! Oy vey!"
Mohammad al-Rabbi, assistant to the emir, said, "You mean we could have just spent time going to school, networking with politicians, and fundraising millions of dollars to become mayor? That's way easier than flying a plane. I mean, they didn't have to learn to land it, but still."
According to terrorist experts, Mamdani is in a unique position to do a lot of damage over a sustained period of time, whereas 9/11 was kind of a "one and done" sort of thing. "Terrorists don't have much opportunity to inflict more damage when they're being invaded by the United States," said Harvard Professor Dr. Mumaden Jihad. "Besides, random explosions just don't inspire fear anymore. Not like politicians."
Older terrorists are said to be resisting the move towards politics, however. "There's just something romantic about a big explosion, you know?" said Mohammed Hassan. "Politics is just so messy. Way messier than stealing a nuclear bomb and setting it off in a major metropolitan city."
At publishing time, a despondent al-Adel had discovered that Gen Z didn't even believe Al-Qaeda was behind 9/11, leaving him wondering where along the road he had gone wrong.
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I can find humor in almost everything, but 9/11 is not one of those for me.
I think I’m going to sue the Babylon Bee. This isn’t satire, it’s just truth.
> Besides, random explosions just don’t inspire fear anymore. Not like politicians
> a despondent al-Adel had discovered that Gen Z didn’t even believe Al-Qaeda was behind 9/11, leaving him wondering where along the road he had gone wrong.
Even Epstein could find the humor in 911.
The LORD rolls his eyes and in a tired voice says 'The Saudi Billionaire Osama Bin Laden who financed and organized the whole attack'.
One of the two men whisper to the other: 'This goes up even higher than I thought!'
well-deserved mockery of NYC today
Ok, now thats funny!
This is true.
Now they claim racists and bigots put Trump back into the White House and kept Kamala from being the hero of America-hating foreign invaders.
The “oy vey” is a nice touch.
I can't remember where I first heard it so I can't give credit where it is due. I can , however, take credit for this new variation I just thought of:
Two retarded conspiracy theorists die in a car wreck. They find themselves before the Lord God Himself. 'Please Lord! before you pass judgement on our unworthy souls , I beg of you to answer this one question! 'Have men ever walked upon the Moon?'
The LORD rolls his eyes and in a tired voice says ' America first landed two men on the Moon July 20, 1969. A total of 12 American men walked upon the Moon before the program was ended after Apollo 17.
One of the two men whisper to the other: 'This goes up even higher than I thought!'
Not a suitable topic for humor
The bee.
SHOW NO MERCY!
Nice work. I spell his name Madmani. It was Biden’s invaders that put him over the top. At least that is what Grok concluded after I asked.
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