Posted on 08/08/2026 6:28:56 AM PDT by DFG
Shockwaves spread across the sports world Wednesday as former NBA king LeBron James announced he would not be playing for the Philadelphia 76ers during the 2026-2027 season and would instead join the Minnesota Lynx of the WNBA midseason. James cited an identity change from LeBron to Lebronya as the reason for the unexpected switch.
“Yeah, once I saw the openness and the opportunity were there, it was an obvious decision for me,” James explained. “Clearly another NBA championship, a few thousand more points — it would have been nice. But how much more meaningful to win a championship as who I truly am, you know?” James has scored more points than any other player in NBA history and has won four championships in the league.
When a reporter asked the legendary basketball star about what he hoped to bring to the Lynx and the WNBA more broadly, James gently stroked his beard: “Basically, the things that are missing: monster windmill dunks, giant muscles, big crowds, and multimillion-dollar salaries, uh, for me at least. But all that with a feminine touch.”
In the days leading up to James’ massive revelation, some WNBA players and coaches rushed to demonstrate their openness to male players joining the league, while others struggled to pierce the haze of enigmatic ambiguity that, in their minds, engulfs the question of what the W in WNBA stands for. Minnesota Lynx head coach Cheryl Reeve went as far as wearing a “Trans Kids Belong” shirt courtside during the team’s match with the Indiana Fever, drawing hushed expressions of reverence from ESPN’s commentators.
“I think that shirt, definitely, um, made it clear the door was open,” James noted.
Golden State Valkyries head coach Natalie Nakase said she is “all about women, little girls deserving to play,” adding emphatically, “and that includes trans women.” Indiana Fever coach Stephanie White concluded she wasn’t “educated enough” to weigh in on men playing in women’s sports leagues, before emphatically stating, “I don’t ever believe that exclusion is an answer.” Superstar guard Caitlin Clark, unlike her teammate Sophie Cunningham, who thinks that women’s sports should be for women, said the question of whether men could take over the WNBA was “for leagues and the governing bodies” to sort out.
“I appreciate it, really,” James gushed when asked about these comments. “I mean, when Caitlin willingly gives up being the league’s best, and her coach kisses her championship hopes goodbye — that’s special. I just hope that the media and everybody can just bring the same level of respect for my identity and privacy and pronouns and whatnot as I make this transition.”
Reeve, who has expressed dismay at males taking more coaching jobs than females, voiced her satisfaction with the addition of James: “I mean, this is great. And I’m just glad the trans thing is a player thing and not a coach thing. Besides, now I can really focus completely on activist fashion,” the coach said. “Because the team only needs one play now: Pass it to LeBronya.”
Philadelphia 76ers coach Nick Nurse appeared flabbergasted at a press conference held shortly after James revealed the news. “What do you say in situations like these?” he began. “We just wish him, uh, her all the best. LeBron-ya — is one of the greatest. And I’m sure they, er, will continue to bring that performance in hi — the next chapter in that league … with the Minnesota Lynx-es.”
Minnesota politicians like Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Gov. Tim Walz quickly applauded James, issuing a joint statement: “You are a beautiful woman, LeBronya. And the best female basketball player we’ve ever witnessed. Minnesota welcomes you with open arms.”
Despite James’ stated hopes for privacy and acceptance, conservative commentators took a skeptical view of the decision. Some peddled conspiracy theories that James’ support for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and Kamala Harris was a calculated stratagem: pushing leftist normalization of transgender ideology so he could play into his 60s and score 40,000 points in both leagues.
One prominent conservative influencer — who posted a video of herself juggling textbooks, lasagna, and six children under 10 — suggested that in light of his “new identity” James can “finally get it through his head” that full-time mothering “means there’s a 0 percent chance of ‘just chilling’ ‘on the couch every day.’”
In the aftermath of James’ announcement, rumors swirled that multiple WNBA teams are reaching out to recently retired NBA players to “check in on the stability of their identities.”
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Can Michaela Jordan be far behind?.....................
LeBron is a punk?
Go for it Lebronya!!
I’ll watch that ... just see how the officials handle the flops when Angle Reese touches LeBronya.
Women better stand up for themselves before it’s too late
I noted that Lebron did not mention his/her main reason to join the WNBA is the opportunity to take showers with a group of naked women.
Love the Federalist going for satire to show how ridiculous the wnba is being.
Everybody wants to be the Bee now! Beautiful.
ROTFLMAO!!! Go guys!!! Great job of doing what Rush alwyas loved to do: Illustrating absurdity by being absurd.
But the novelty will wear off and the crowds will thin out.
The show will be about women being pushed around and humiliated by taller, more muscular t-girls. Who would pay to see that?
Yes the Bee couldn’t have written it better. The Federalist has through the years done some great satire articles.
Can’t wait to see the Woke Wnbc reaction to all the new players
“If this were to actually happen, the stands would be packed for every Lynx game, at least at first.”
For this to happen, liberals would have to follow the rules they seek to impose on others.
Not going to happen. The fun is going to be watching liberals explain their twisted reasoning.
I know it is wrong to enjoy seeing other humans get up in public and debase themselves.
The author of this piece should win a NOBLE PEACE PRIZE for his incredible courage in using HILARIOUS HUMOR to defeat the dangerous and actually EVIL attempts of the LEFT to destroy the future of WOMEN’S SPORTS!
This is where woke insanity and delusions will collide with reality. I hope this happens and that it’s televised ... I’d even pay to watch it.
Alensky Rule 5: “Ridicule is man’s most potent weapon. There is no defense. It is almost impossible to counterattack ridicule. Also it infuriates the opposition, who then react to your advantage.”
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