Keyword: humor
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — On the anniversary of the January 6, 2021, incident at the U.S. Capitol, Democrat lawmakers gathered together once again to solemnly remember the only riot they didn't like. At a somber ceremony of remembrance, congressional Democrats met to observe the fifth anniversary of the only violent protest in history that they weren't happy about and refused to celebrate. "We're normally all about violent riots, but not this one," said House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "This one was bad. But only this one. All the other times large mobs of people flooded the streets to loudly protest, damage...
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SOMEWHERE IN THE NEVADA DESERT — U.S. President Donald Trump was spotted fleeing from international cops in a high-speed chase after allegedly breaking international law again. The International Police Squad is an elite law enforcement team that has been imbued with all the power and authority of the international community to enforce international laws, which are not "fake and gay" at all, as some claim. The sitting president of the United States set their alarm bells off after deciding to protect his country from a narcoterrorist communist dictator who was actively harming the people of Venezuela and the United States....
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WILMINGTON, DE — With the successful military operation to topple the authoritarian Venezuelan government, former President Joe Biden was notified that he was being forced to pay Donald Trump the $25 million bounty his administration had put in place for capturing Nicolas Maduro. In the waning days of his presidency, Biden increased the U.S. government's bounty on Maduro to $25 million, which the former president was informed he would now have to pay out personally to President Trump for bringing the dictator into custody. "This is a bunch of malarkey, Jack," Biden reportedly said after being told to pay Trump....
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Part 1 of "The Man with the Midas Touch" Donald Trump receives a tip from a suspicious informant (Bill Clinton) that the evil supervillain Porge Poros is plotting a sinister scheme.
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(I just did what I hope are complete corrections to the YouTube transcript as reformatted by that AI I use, but much of this was too much for the YouTube transcriber to handle) I Am the Very Model of a Biblical Philologist | 3:44 Josh Tyra | 4.54K subscribers | 299,975 views | December 11, 2014
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Hilarious! "Baby Trump Visits Minnesota & The Somalian Daycares! Ft. Ilhan Omar and Tim Walz"
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Maduro’s here. And the memes are fire!
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LONDON, UK — In the wake of the swift capture and extradition of Venezuelan dictator Nicolas Maduro, millions of ordinary British citizens have asked if Trump could please come do that same thing with Prime Minister Keir Starmer. According to numerous on-the-street interviews, Brits across the United Kingdom have all come together in the last 36 hours to ask if there's any possible way that Trump could just once more do that thing where he sends in Delta Force commandos to arrest a tyrant. "What I wouldn't give to see Trump post a pic of that blighter Starmer safely held...
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ONE DOUBTS THE VENEZUELAN SOLDIERY IS HIGHLY MOTIVATED......
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“Maduro was wearing Hello Kitty pajamas.”🤣 This guys has the best Trump impression in the world.
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I support this. --Elon Musk
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https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-confused-why-venezuelans-cheering-downfall-of-nice-warm-collectivism U.S. — Bewildered Democrats watched in utter confusion today as Venezuelans cheered the downfall of warm, cozy collectivism. With longtime communist dictator Nicolas Maduro being deposed overnight, Venezuelans have taken to the streets in tearful celebration, baffling liberals. "What's wrong with these people?" asked liberal Stauncey Billups, watching the festivities. "How can they be happy at a time like this, with their dear, sweet collectivism being ripped away? They must not understand how good they've had it, being free of rugged individualism. The fools!" Democrats have posed several theories, including perhaps that Venezuela had failed to try real collectivism....
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Meanwhile, in Minnesota ...
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ST. PAUL, MN — In response to growing allegations of fraud tied to Minnesota's Somali community, Governor Tim Walz announced he had awarded an $8 billion grant to a Somali company to find the perpetrators. "I'm sparing no expense to find those responsible," Governor Walz announced. "That's why I'm consulting with a Somali private detective agency. They know when to run a mean pick-six." "They also run a nifty daycare center," he added. To date, approximately $18 billion has been lost to fraud in Minnesota through fake social service programs run by Somalis, some of whom may be in the...
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