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U.S. — Population numbers have shifted drastically in light of new changes to the census program, which remove illegal immigrants from official population numbers. As a result, California, once the most populous state in the country, now has a total population of just 12 people. "Woah. Where'd everyone go?" said one of the 12 remaining Californians. With a new count of just 12 people, California's power will be greatly reduced in the House of Representatives, moving from 52 congressional seats to just 1. The state will also have just 1 vote in the electoral college going forward. "We knew California...

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Following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Zohran Mamdani is now the frontrunner for New York City mayor, and people are wondering what plans he may have in mind for the Big Apple. The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of proposals Mamdani has in store for NYC: 1. Times Square will be renamed Red Square: It will also be the official site of all mass executions going forward. 2. Creating special "camps" where the city's Jewish population can be "concentrated": It's for their own good. 3. Authorizing the development of state-run shoplifting centers: This is the clever...

Locals have begun questioning the authenticity of purported Mexican restaurant "El Bandido" as ICE has yet to raid the restaurant a single time. With nearby restaurants being hit by ICE on a near-daily basis, concerns about El Bandido's genuineness have risen as no waiter, cook, or busboy has been taken into custody. "It's a bad look," said former patron Dan Billings. "How do you claim to serve authentic Mexican cuisine and your kitchen door hasn't even been broken down by ICE? It just doesn't add up. I'm taking my business over to Julio's, they're getting raided all the time. Just...

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what some are taking as perhaps a bad omen, President Trump responded to the SCOTUS ruling on nationwide injunctions by screaming "UNLIMITED POWER!" and shooting lightning from his fingertips. "That's probably not good," said an eyewitness as a cackling Trump scorched an aide with lightning. "It sounded like he said something to the effect of ‘Now, nothing can stop me from controlling the galaxy'. It's a bit concerning." While many conservatives had felt that district courts issuing nationwide injunctions was an unfair check on executive power, they no longer felt so sure after witnessing Trump levitate...

TEHRAN — Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini declared a resounding victory over the United States and Israel after Iran destroyed 14 American bunker buster bombs with its nuclear facilities. In a video message released today, Iran's Supreme Leader said that the advanced American ordinance was no match for the destructive capabilities of Iran's foremost nuclear sites. "We have brought utter and complete obliteration to the weapons of our enemies," the Ayatollah declared triumphantly, brushing soot off his turban. "The pitiful Zionist bunker busters were ultimately annihilated by our nuclear facilities. Our nuclear bomb program, which did not exist before the Americans' failed...

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Hitler is informed the United States has struck several key Iranian nuclear facilities, including Fordow, Natanz and Isfahan

HAVE YOU BEEN INJURED BY A SEMITRUCK OR BUNKERBUSTER? CALL HENRYJTHOMAS. from: Dave Burge/Iowa Hawk.

Hitler gives Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu a call to discuss Iran's nuclear program.

I'm proud to mention that I’m a columnist with Renew America. The editors suggested I provide a review of my new novel. The problem with reviews, good, bad, long, short, is that each is one person's opinion. Surely I can be more helpful. Here are the first six reviews: ——————————————————————- “I LOVED IT. It's interesting and fast-paced." —Laurie Endicott Thomas, author of "Not Trivial: How Studying The Traditional Liberal Arts Can Set You Free” —————————————————————— "A riveting sci-fi thriller that delves into artificial intelligence, government surveillance, and the nature of free will. At the heart of the novel is Carlos,...

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