Keyword: humor
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U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity. The landmark decision, handed down this morning by the United States Supreme Court, has ruled that the entire state is unfit to hold trials, engage in civil service, or do anything else besides make clam chowder. "We find the entire state grossly incompetent due to being completely insane," announced Chief Justice John Roberts. "The entire state needs to be shut down and prevented from doing anything whatsoever until it gets help. We have ordered a large, large fence to be built around the entire state...
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VIDEO: Candace Owens joins the Scooby gang (2-minute video parody)
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Guo Degang was accused of “violating public order and good customs” after changing the lyrics of a classic Chinese revolutionary song during a recent performance.Prominent Chinese comedian Guo Degang has come under investigation after improvising new lyrics to a well-known revolutionary song, with a complaint accusing him of violating “social order and good customs”. The incident spotlights the fine line performers in China must navigate between creative licence and political sensitivities, amid Beijing’s continued emphasis on ideological discipline. Guo changed the lyrics of Playing My Beloved Pipa during a Peking opera adaptation of Ji Gong, a legendary Chinese Buddhist...
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Shockwaves spread across the sports world Wednesday as former NBA king LeBron James announced he would not be playing for the Philadelphia 76ers during the 2026-2027 season and would instead join the Minnesota Lynx of the WNBA midseason. James cited an identity change from LeBron to Lebronya as the reason for the unexpected switch. “Yeah, once I saw the openness and the opportunity were there, it was an obvious decision for me,” James explained. “Clearly another NBA championship, a few thousand more points — it would have been nice. But how much more meaningful to win a championship as who...
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AUSTIN, TX — Over the course of a ninety-minute transaction, Elon Musk became the sole and absolute owner of The Economist. Though Musk had no reported prior interest in the aging magazine, Musk acquired total ownership of the company during a sit-down with The Economist's Zanny Beddoes. "Well, that didn't quite go as planned," sighed Beddoes, handing over her employee badge to Musk. "Here you go, Elon. I'll, uh, just see myself out." Musk, for his part, offered Beddoes the option to stay on with the company, on the condition that she do actual journalism. Beddoes made several loud screeching...
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth issued a new order that any military member who is discovered to have low testosterone be immediately transferred to the Navy. Hegseth initiated mandatory testosterone testing for all members of the armed forces, and any soldier whose numbers fall below the normal range will instantly be reassigned to the Navy and issued a dandy little sailor outfit. "There are three possible results for your testosterone labs: high, normal, or welcome to the Navy," said Hegseth. "Let's trade in those fatigues for a cute hat and kerchief. Next stop, step up and...
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SACRAMENTO, CA — Buoyed by recent efforts to teach "Black English" in California schools, a new coalition of activists demanded that "Girl Math" be officially incorporated into the state's K-12 math curriculum. The Girl Math Liberation Front argued that traditional mathematics had been oppressively logical, binary, and dominated by dead white men like Pythagoras for far too long. Instead, they want classrooms to embrace a more inclusive, emotionally intelligent approach rooted in female financial intuition and vibes. "For too long, the patriarchy has forced us to accept that two plus two equals four," said Karen Klipper, a 7th-grade math teacher...
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NEW YORK CITY — A screaming Sonny Hostin fled in terror after rounding the corner in the grocery store only to come face-to-face with a shelf of Pillsbury American flag cookie dough. Hostin, longtime host on The View, cried out for help as she ran from the horrifying sight of the American flag imprinted onto sugar and flour. "AHHHHHH! Help, help! I'm in danger!" Hostin yelled as she ran shrieking down the aisle.
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BREAKING NEWS 📰📰📰: Police Release Sketch of Joe Biden's Autopen (My Title)
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Short 1:25 AI video of what the July 4 250th celebration in DC would have looked like under President Kammy.
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BREAKING: the American "online right" has discovered Reasonable Blackman and are enjoying memes about him. The left will never recover from this. "Oh, this McDonald's is out of sweet and sour sauce? No need to cause a scene, I'll just dip my McNuggets in honey mustard instead." — Reasonable Blackman “Oh this gentleman has asked me to leave the premises. I will do so without causing a scene or violently stabbing him.” - Reasonable Blackman “By heavens, this is a most excellent motion picture. I shall take especial care not to converse during its exhibition, lest I spoil the enjoyment...
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