State Of Massachusetts Declared Incompetent By Reason Of Insanity

Babylon Bee ^ | September 4, 2026 | Staff

[Twotone]

U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.

The landmark decision, handed down this morning by the United States Supreme Court, has ruled that the entire state is unfit to hold trials, engage in civil service, or do anything else besides make clam chowder.

"We find the entire state grossly incompetent due to being completely insane," announced Chief Justice John Roberts. "The entire state needs to be shut down and prevented from doing anything whatsoever until it gets help. We have ordered a large, large fence to be built around the entire state to protect the greater public from these psychos. The entire state is now just one enormous mental institution. Which, it basically is already, but now at least there's a wall so these freaks can't get out."

At publishing time, the State of California had also been ruled incompetent, but just for actual incompetence.

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TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; massachusetts

[FamiliarFace]

*** or do anything else besides make clam chowder.***

I’m not sure that I want a crazy person to make my clam chowder.

[Disambiguator]

They might put tofu in your clam chowder!

[GOPJ]

We have ordered a large, large fence to be built around the entire state to protect the greater public from these psychos. The entire state is now just one enormous mental institution. Which, it basically is already, but now at least there's a wall so these freaks can't get out."

The wall saves a lot of work for the men in white coats...