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PROPOUNDING POSERS © (ANSWERS OPTIONAL) by Norman Liebmann California’s Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is considering selling San Quentin. Why not just ask Donald Trump to make it into a casino as long as all the losers are already in there? And how old was Donald Trump when he first noticed his hair was turning orange? If Bill Clinton were till President would the Guantanamo terrorists already have been moved into the Lincoln bedroom? If Nancy Pelosi is forced to step down as Speaker of the House, will the Democrats have to replace her with a Designated Liar? Has the Obama’s dog...

We, on the web, knew him as "Firehat". The world knew him as Norman Liebmann, outstanding award winning comic writer. He was our friend, always there with encouragement to fight the good fight for the country he loved so much. Following is the message from his family, who we know must miss his wit and love even more than we do. There is an empty space no one else can fill with his passing. THE PASSING OF NORMAN –Date : 2010-12-20 THE HAT’S OFF, BUT THE FLAME IS ETERNAL © by the Family of Norman Liebmann It is with great...

Barack Obama is well-spoken even when he has nothing intelligent to say – which is more than just occasionally. Incidentally, what’s all this fuss about Obama’s pectorals? Apparently the people that voted for him expect to be breast fed in return. Computer technicians report that Chinese viruses are difficult to cure – especially the ones that are in Chinese. No big surprise there. The Chinese leaders hold most of America’s debt in dollars. The people there would prefer to collect it in grocery coupons. Did Al Gore send out Holiday greeting cards reading Merry Hoaxmas? The Obama Administration kicks off...

The Mike Huckabee campaign will show that The Gong Show is alive and well in Arkansas. (Outdoorsmen will agree that Iowa would be a better place if the pheasants hunted the Huckabees.) It is likely this epidemic of Hollywood stars adopting African children be formalized into a program called Affirmative Adoption. (After the Michael Vick affair, let’s hope Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie do not buy these kids any puppies.) An automobile company will fire its advertising agency’s CEO for suggesting its newest model be named the Oldsmobile Chappaquiddick. Hillary Clinton will propose a new Health Care System to spend...

CELEBRATING MEDIOCRITY LESS THAN ORDINARY – AND LOVING IT © by Norman Liebmann All that you need is a plaque with his name on the ruins of the collapsed Interstate 35w Bridge in Minnesota and you have the appropriate Wellstone Memorial. If NASA, America’s barnstorming space agency, added up the cost of its doing somersaults in weightlessness – each cavort in space would cost the equivalent of fourteen centuries of maintaining a single family of illegal aliens on Welfare. NASA doesn’t deal in bargains. State Department functionaries complain that the Middle East crisis is taking up so much of their...

IMHO (in my humble opinion) UNLATCHED © by Norman Liebmann In my humble opinion, George Bush pledges he is ready to extend our country’s help to Israel as long as Israel can prove it doesn’t need it. The job of being President of the United States isn’t attracting the kind of quality people it used to. In my humble opinion, Hollywood is preparing to remake a famous western movie with Robert Downey. Instead of calling it “High Noon” it will be called “High by Noon”. In my humble opinion, all the people in the Inner City who never get married...

THE BUZZZZZZZ 13 © by Norman Liebmann The buzz is, Bill Clinton must be feeling better. He’s following the doctors on their hospital rounds and autographing bedpans. The buzz is, with things getting hotter with North Korea, the gang over at The State Department has asked Hallmark to dream up some cards with cute ultimatums. The buzz is, in order to get himself presentable for the Oscars ceremony a studio makeup man had to go over Michael Moore’s face with a rake. The buzz is, Mexico is full of jobs Mexicans won’t do. The buzz is, Johnny Walker Lindh has...

Date : 2004-12-13 CANADA – MORE THAN YOU WANT TO KNOW © by Norman Liebmann Recently, Canadians voted America the country they are most likely to lose patience with. Canadians have the same bitchy attitude toward America that the Québécois have toward the rest of Canada. The French-Canadians, like their cousins in Europe, have the mindset of a committee that cannot be brought to order. Their aversion to America makes the designation, French-Canadian, a self-contained redundancy. Their emotional climate of whininess is probably because Canadians haven’t figured out a way to cry on their own shoulders. The only aspect of...

IMHO (in my humble opinion) CONJECTURAL SHRAPNEL © by Norman Liebmann In my humble opinion, San Francisco is a place you can go to get your body pierced without someone saying “Oops!”. In my humble opinion, considering the trashy character of the UN, the Secretary General should bring the delegates to order, not with a gavel, but with a shovel. In my humble opinion, if Bedford Falls had been located in Arkansas, George Bailey would have decided, it's not such a wonderful life. In my humble opinion, to paraphrase Edmund Burke – all that is needed for the triumph of...

Back HTML | Text Next Title : JUST ASKIN' XX Date : 2004-11-28 JUST ASKIN’ XX © by Norman Liebmann Just askin’: Wouldn’t French flags make great beach towels? Just askin’: Is John Edwards still around? Just askin’: Would it not be a boon to Mankind if silent prayer could be extended to include silent rock ‘n’ roll? Just askin’: Is it less than a coincidence that Arab and OPEC are both four-letter words? Just askin’: Why do we take seriously the political opinions of Harry Belafonte whose main claim to fame is singing about bananas? Just askin’: Re Arlen...

Back HTML | Text Next Title : THE ISLAMIC PLAGUE Date : 2004-11-22 THE ISLAMIC PLAGUE © by Norman Liebmann Islam is a fever blister on the planet Earth. It is a theme park for assassins, and endures by having acquired weapons it had not the mentality to invent. In contrast, our government, in its infinite wisdom, has determined that Americans should not be permitted to carry guns because they are not as rational or as-law abiding as Arabs. It is worth noting, our prisons are bulging with converts to Islam. If the trend continues, San Quentin will be re-designated...

Title : THE DEMOCRAT PARTY - STILL DELIVERING THE GARBAGE Date : 2004-10-29 THE DEMOCRAT PARTY - STILL DELIVERING THE GARBAGE © By Norman Liebmann The Democrats are the political equivalent of the Galapagos Islands where time decided that Evolution ain’t all it’s cracked up to be and made a U turn. The idea of a Carter followed by a Clinton followed by a Kerry makes one marvel at the Democrats’ capacity to spawn human dross. Any consideration of the leading exponents and their idolaters and drones indicates the Democrat Party’s urgent need to be, not only reformed, but wormed....

e-mail from norm ... I am mrs Liebmann writing this for my husband, Norman Liebmann, (Firehat) as he had an accident today ( ---- ---- ------ --- ----- --- --- ---) and won't be typing for a while. He wanted me to thank you for putting up his ... article --- and sends his regards.

THIS JUST IN: Three words traitors in Hollywood love to hear - "The envelope, please." THIS JUST IN: According to a recent article, the European birthrate is declining precipitously. Apparently fighting is another thing that begins with "f" that the French are afraid to do. THIS JUST IN: Because of the war in Iraq, the Canadians have gotten really angry at the United States and are withdrawing their invitation for Americans to go clubbing seal pups with them. THIS JUST IN: A prominent geneticist claims not only is Bill Clinton the first black President, but that also makes him the...

The buzz is, since George Clooney expressed his trepidation that America "can't beat anyone anymore", a network intends to ask him to host a talk show with equally fearful Hollywood actors called "Cowering with Clooney." The buzz is, these days Mexican restaurants in California are catering heavily to illegal aliens. Every order of rice and beans now comes with rice and beans. The buzz is, Hollywood will secede from the Union - it having already seceded from reality. The buzz is, a claque of gay students at the University of William and Mary are insisting the Trustees change the name...

In my humble opinion, America should not rely too heavily on the French as allies. In World War I, French troops were transported to the First Battle of the Marne in taxi cabs. (It's the conventional wisdom that many of the Parisian cabbies went over to the Germans after the French soldiers proved to be poor tippers.) In my humble opinion, Rosa Parks would have been an even greater icon to Americans if she had bought her own bus and sat wherever the hell she chose. In my humble opinion, the two worst contributions to Civilization during the Twentieth Century...

In my humble opinion, Barbara Streisand, self-identified international relations expert, can't tell a Chechen from a Munchkin. In my humble opinion, the only difference between Bill Clinton and Satan is that Satan got here first. In my humble opinion, eventually gays will demand reparations. The only question that remains is from whom? We already know for what (One never knows what the gays will do next, except for the certainty that it's bound to be excessive.) In my humble opinion, the most obscene sight of the Twentieth Century was Bill and Hillary in swimsuits dancing on the beach. After they...