Posted on 12/29/2008 6:58:56 AM PST by IbJensen
Barack Obama is well-spoken even when he has nothing intelligent to say – which is more than just occasionally. Incidentally, what’s all this fuss about Obama’s pectorals? Apparently the people that voted for him expect to be breast fed in return.
Computer technicians report that Chinese viruses are difficult to cure – especially the ones that are in Chinese. No big surprise there. The Chinese leaders hold most of America’s debt in dollars. The people there would prefer to collect it in grocery coupons.
Did Al Gore send out Holiday greeting cards reading Merry Hoaxmas?
The Obama Administration kicks off on January 20th. Get ready for a sky full of black rainbows.
It is reported that Michelle Obama will be attending a seminar by a witch doctor who will lecture on what is the proper age at which a child should get his first nose bone. America needs Michelle Obama in the White House like Marie Antoinette needs a rinse and a comb out. (Michelle dresses like she is on her way to the Zambezi River balancing a bundle on her head.)
It is a testament to Jesus’ Forbearance and Divinity that he was never moved to rationalize his torment on Calvary by saying, “That’s show business”.
The rumor is out that Hollywood has discovered a lucrative market in the Middle East - pornography. One studio in Hollywood is preparing a movie in Arabic called Debbie Does Dubai.
Before Governor Paterson can appoint Catherine Kennedy to the Senate does he first have to clear it with The Braille Institute? It is worth noting that Henry the Vlll always knew what to do when there was one too many “Catherines” around.
The Obama Administration (which some are already calling Chicago on the Potomac) may be the first administration to fail before taking office. One might say they hit the ground stumbling. By the time Obama and his ciphers get through with diddling with the economy, the Democrat Party will have to change its name to the Doomacrats.
Appointing Hillary Secretary of State is tantamount to opening Pandora's aperture while trying to think of a way to slam it shut. As Secretary of State, Hillary will be the Western Hemisphere’s distributor for diplomatic damage. She has already muffed her first problem in the Far East. Ultimately, Ms. Clinton resolved the difficulty by telling everybody that Cambodia is only a mythical country.
[Note: Hillary may turn out to be an ideal Secretary of State. Rather than offend foreign countries one at a time she’ll be able to offend them all at once. It’s worth questioning what qualifications Hillary has to be a political advisor other than a brain like Vladimir Lenin and an ass like Benito Mussolini.]
In all this tender consideration for the terrorists in Guantanamo, it is wise to remember that an Arab’s idea of mercy is killing you a little bit at a time. The Western World became civilized. The Arabs never got the hang of it.
Among the Kennedys, assassination has come to be considered death by natural causes. (Some say it is only fitting that Ted Kennedy should contract a lingering disease after what can only be called a lingering career. He could show super scrambler quarterback Fran Tarkenton a thing or two about running out the clock.)
Is it possible Obama is getting pressure from some of inner city constituents to send troops to Afghanistan to protect the opium poppy crop?
Yoko Ono destroyed the Beatles. If Michelle Obama is going to top that, she really has her work cut out for her.
The traffic into San Francisco is being rerouted. The sign reads “Detour - Orgy Under Repair”. Some psychologists are saying there are two sides to every bisexual - except in San Francisco where they lost count.
Matt Drudge is under attack from the Democrat Congress, the White House, mainstream press and the Clintons. What is he doing right?
Is there a more rumpled, sweaty, effeminate churl in Congress than “Barney Freak”? Will “Freak” be able to convince his heterosexual colleagues to change the names of those crooked lending institutions he sank to Feely Mae and Faggy Mac?
John McCain’s defeat demonstrated that in politics there is only so much closer together you can move the goal posts.
Our intrepid lawman, Patrick Fitzgerald, took Scooter Libby off the streets. Wyatt Earp only had to deal with the Clantons.
It is not known which is worse - white guilt or Ivy League football.
The reelection of Mayor Ray Nagin may move the New Orleans Saints to change their name to the New Orleans Lemmings.
New Yorkers know when they get into a cab with the driver wearing a turban they can’t be sure where he’s going to take them - only that he’s going to “take” them.
Considering the bizarre sexual inclinations of some of the members of the Democrat Party, should the Justice Department hire a proctologist with rubber gloves to serve their subpoenas?
It is apparent Hollywood folk are increasingly uncomfortable among heterosexuals. Nevertheless, the gay trend rolls on in Hollywood. A sequel is in contemplation called Harvey Milk Goes to Jurassic Park. Milk is attacked by a dinosaur called the Fagosaurus Rex. The dinosaur eats Harvey and Harvey eats it back.
Barbara Walters looks like the National Poster Girl for Terminal Wilt.
Right after the swallows returned to Capistrano, the crows moved in next door. There goes the neighborhood.
California’s Attorney General Jerry Brown has come out in favor of same sex marriage. I guess “Mister Right” came along.
Too bad Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff, who is building that cockamamie fence between US and Mexico, could not have consulted with Ludwig Von Beethoven. Ludwig was famous for leaving things unfinished and getting a lot of kudos for it. A more formidable case for building the fence with Mexico is that historical research shows for a supposedly intelligent tribe, the Aztecs could not read their own graffiti.
The Arkansas Capitol Building will display a model of the Clinton Library,
authentic - even to the barn door.
Al Gore is a product of Harvard which is a good reason to push it into the Charles River. arvard – which is a good reason to shut it down.Harvard which I a good reason to shut it down. If they reopen ithHHHH
Bill Clinton may further consolidate his relations with the black community by moving the Apollo Theater into his office.
Inside every Juan Williams is another Juan Williams trying to sound reasonable in order to keep his job at the Fox.
Bill Clinton brags to his friends that his doctor has to measure his sperm count on the Richter scale. And along those lines, is it true that in her high school yearbook Monica Lewinsky was nicknamed “The Jaws of Life”?
Michael Savage’s new book says Liberalism is Mental Disorder, except in Barney Frank where it is closer to a prostate condition.
It was only a matter of time. Vermont is working on a gender neutral toilet paper.
It has been determined that rap music is a virus that attacks the central nervous systems of electric guitars.
After a career as a gun control fanatic, it turns out Dianne Feinstein carries a gun – presumably loaded with kosher bullets.
Senator Robert Byrd carries a tea bag with him into the mens' room to impress the other elderly Senators that he is still able to urinate.
George W. Bush tried to buy America’s love with taxpayer money. Charles Foster Kane made the mistake of using his own money.
Gore’s latest theory is that global warming causes pornography. Better that than hurricanes and tornadoes.
Al Frankel is about as humorous as a quadraplegic at the deep end of the pool.
Nancy Pelosi is chutzpa on steroids.
Congress needs a trap door underneath every member’s seat – with a handle in their home district by which discontented constituents can drop them through. As an act of mercy, the Congressman that overspends their tax money should have a noose around his neck to “break his fall”.
Obama convinced the folks in Chicago that Hussein is a Polish name.
Jesse Jackson contends that the Obama Cabinet is the only place in the world where there are not enough Negroes. When is enough enough?
Under the Obama Administration, educational standards are expected to fall somewhere between embarrassing and nonexistent – except for teachers’ salaries. .
The New York Times’ constantly falling circulation figures indicates that Publisher Pinch Sulzberger just won’t take “Bull shit!” for an answer.
Slave blood is better than no blood at all – but I suppose it’s a matter of opinion.
Jesse Jackson’s civil rights campaign is heeling precipitously. His list of white oppressors has either retired, passed on, or has lost interest. In any event, title to the word “racist” has now passed in its entirety to the black community.
Clinton pardoned more felons than Judge Roy Bean hung. Apparently Bean didn’t want clemency to stain his legacy.
Barbara Boxer has got to be immune to global warming. Could the meteorologists deduce anything from that?
The Clintons never go away. Apparently they over-imbibed at The Fountain of Ubiquity. Hillary still has a wind chill personality measured below zero. Bill still has the charisma of a snake charmer. It is hoped that one day either he will get overconfident or that the cobra will get pissed off.
And this …
How long will it be before Michelle Obama and Hillary Clinton scratch each other’s eyes out?
love the firehat! thanks
Catherine Kennedy?
Macaroni?
Attending a Witch Doctor Ceremony? A professed Christian attending a Witch Doctor Ceremony?
WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!
Barack is "well spoken" like Norm is a cracker ass cracker.. ;)
Al Frankel?
home
No! Nor anywhere in the nation....
No! Nor anywhere in the nation....
Even for Barney Frank, I’m a little shocked. That such a disturbed person as Sanchez be given any power....
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