Free Republic

It sprouted arms, legs...cankles...scary laugh...bad hair...and just walked off the job.... I know...weird... ----------------------------------------------------See more posts and art at The Looking Spoon (www.thelookingspoon.com)

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THU JULY 29, 2004 20:25:25 ET XXXXX KERRY ON ORANGE ALERT: SKIN TRANSITION ON EVE OF DEBATE Is it the late September Wisconsin sun that has turned Dem presidential hopeful John Kerry's face to rich tan-colored hues? Or has the senator been campaigning in the rust-belt? Kerry advisers defend the sudden deep tan transition, noting how it simply was from a game of flag football last Friday in Bedford, Mass. But the College Democrats who met Kerry were surprised by his rich tan glow -- before the game even began, the HARVARD CRIMSON reports.

Kerry sees red at orange tan jokes 30/09/2004 - 18:29:24 As George Bush and John Kerry go head-to-head in what is considered the most crucial presidential election in generations, America has turned to another issue – the colour of Senator Kerry’s face. So-called “attack dogs” who pledge their allegiance to Republican Mr Bush posted pictures on the internet this week of an “orange” looking Mr Kerry. Newspapers picked up the story and even Lynne Cheney, the wife of vice-president Dick Cheney, has commented on the shade of the Democratic challenger’s tan. The implication that Mr Kerry has given himself a...

Having predictively nailed John McCain, I'd like to offer my brief thoughts on what Kerry will do tonight, and invite yours.Today's Democratic Party's notion of Real Leadership could be defined thus: the ability to say, with the most nuanced conviction, "Wahh!!"And so, since the Swift Both Vets' ads and Bush's ads have scored some tellingly accurate direct hits, and since those hits have cost Kerry dearly, I think this is Kerry's biggest plan. I think that he is being advised that the knockout punch will be to cry and moan and complain, and to put the President on the defensive....

September 30, 2004 -- MIAMI — As Democrat John Kerry tries to distract attention from his new orangey tan, he's angling to play the height card — "I'm taller" — as voters get their first chance to size up the presidential candidates on the same stage at tonight's debate. But someone should tell Kerry to watch his posture and stand tall. He tends to slouch awkwardly as if he's uncomfortable rather than proud of his height — making him look gangly while Bush has a confident military-style bearing. Personal image really matters at debates in a subliminal way — especially,...

The question on everyone's mind this week is whether the Wisconsin sun or an ineffective sunless tanning product has turned presidential candidate John Kerry's face from flesh color to a rich pumpkin hue. Either way, it's crucial that Kerry and President George W. Bush look their best this last month on the campaign trail, as voters have been swayed in the past based on physical appearances (think Nixon vs. Kennedy). In an effort to keep the candidates bronzed rather than orange, Chase Products Co. -- inventor of the first aerosol hair spray -- today is sending Kerry and President Bush...

Just heard a theory about Kerry's "tan" that has the ring of truth to it. Laura Ingraham has suggested that Kerry had a chemical peel on his face -- possibly suggested by TerEZa who it is assumed also suggested his botox. Apparentely, you need to stay out of the sun after a chemical peel, otherwise it will turn the hue currently seen on Kerry's pan. This theory seems to make sense to me, and it also explains why Kerry's staff is saying he got the color by "playing in the sun all day." There's just enough truth in that statment...

All of us pajama pundits are eagerly anticipating the first Presidential Debate of the current electoral season. Will beads of sweat glisten on John Kerry's Botoxicated orange brow? Alas, I have misplaced my crystal ball and my Ouija board is on the fritz so I don't know what will perspire, but I am happy to divulge the expectations of a perceptive subscriber to this website's newsletter: I am waiting for the Cambodian Candidate to put on the Magic Hat given him by the Invisible CIA Guy & thus attired show up & win the debates.Although we have been privileged to...

John Kerry's campaign was seeing red - or was it orange? - over a swipe yesterday by the Republicans over his new suntan. Vice President Dick Cheney, at a town hall-style campaign event in Minnesota, told the audience that student proctors could be seen wearing orange shirts. Lynne Cheney asked her husband what the shirts ``remind you of?'' The veep paused, prompting his wife to say, ``I'll say it: How about John Kerry's suntan?'' The crowd laughed, apparently having seen reports about Kerry's tan. The vice president noted he might have to ``disassociate'' himself from the remark but added it...

DULUTH, Minn. - Something about Sen. John Kerry (news - web sites)'s darker appearance has caught Lynne Cheney's eye.

"What do those orange shirts remind you of?" Lynne Cheney asks Vice President Cheney in Duluth, MN. "How about John Kerry's sun tan?"

September 30, 2004 -- JOHN Kerry is one bronzed candidate - or is that tan-di-date? The Democratic nominee and windsurfing enthusiast says he picked up his brand-new glow at a football game last week in Massachusetts - just in time for tonight's first presidential debate. But can a rain-drenched New Yorker get a Kerry glow in time for the debate? To find out, I tried the friendly folks at Hollywood Tans on 25th Street and Sixth Avenue. "I want to look like John Kerry," I announced. The staff at the front desk laughed. "I saw that photo," said staffer Iris...