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KERRY SAYS THE TAN'S REAL BUT IT'S EASY TO FAKE IT
New York Post ^
| 9/30/04
| MICHAEL KANE
Posted on 09/30/2004 12:37:58 AM PDT by kattracks
September 30, 2004 -- JOHN Kerry is one bronzed candidate - or is that tan-di-date? The Democratic nominee and windsurfing enthusiast says he picked up his brand-new glow at a football game last week in Massachusetts - just in time for tonight's first presidential debate.
But can a rain-drenched New Yorker get a Kerry glow in time for the debate?
To find out, I tried the friendly folks at Hollywood Tans on 25th Street and Sixth Avenue.
"I want to look like John Kerry," I announced.
The staff at the front desk laughed.
"I saw that photo," said staffer Iris Elton. She said she wasn't sure they could pull off a pumpkin-orange glow - "but we can make you look really dark," she said.
"How long do you think that would take?"
Elton thought it over.
"Six seconds," she said. "That's for the full-body Instant Tan, which will last about four days."
(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...
TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: agentorange; kerry; oompaloompagate; orangekerry; trafficcone
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1
posted on
09/30/2004 12:37:58 AM PDT
by
kattracks
To: kattracks
I heard the following joke:
Kerry, Jack O Lantern: Orange in September, Carved up in October, Thrown out in November.
Kerry is now an orange weirdo.
2
posted on
09/30/2004 12:42:07 AM PDT
by
putupjob
To: kattracks
In the interest of public service, I am posting this handy reference chart: 
3
posted on
09/30/2004 12:42:56 AM PDT
by
spodefly
(A bunny-slippered operative in the Vast Right-Wing Pajama Party.)
To: spodefly
4
posted on
09/30/2004 12:47:55 AM PDT
by
PhilDragoo
(Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
To: PhilDragoo
Take 2 parts "Embarrassment Red" plus 2 parts "Cowardly Yellow" equals One "Kerry Orange"
5
posted on
09/30/2004 1:02:08 AM PDT
by
politicalwit
(NBC,CBS,ABC=Bermuda Triangle of the News Media)
To: PhilDragoo
6
posted on
09/30/2004 1:03:28 AM PDT
by
Casloy
To: kattracks
The Democratic nominee and windsurfing enthusiast says he picked up his brand-new glow at a football game last week in Massachusetts - just in time for tonight's first presidential debate. I went to college in Boston and never could get any tan up there, even when I stayed through the summer. Another episode of Unlikely Stories.
7
posted on
09/30/2004 1:04:07 AM PDT
by
weegee
(What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
To: kattracks
Maybe it was Kerry's subtle way of telling the home audience that we would be in a constant MINUMUM threat level ORANGE if JfK was elected President.
8
posted on
09/30/2004 1:08:11 AM PDT
by
weegee
(What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
To: kattracks
New Footage Just In From sKerry's Cambodian Christmas:
9
posted on
09/30/2004 1:08:55 AM PDT
by
ApesForEvolution
(You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
To: kattracks
"Kerry Says the Tan's Real" CBS says the MEMOS are real! LOL
10
posted on
09/30/2004 1:12:45 AM PDT
by
blondee123
(Proud Member of the FR Pajama Blogger Brigade - New Sheriffs in Town!)
To: ApesForEvolution
RATS everywhere are hitting the....
11
posted on
09/30/2004 1:14:06 AM PDT
by
ApesForEvolution
(You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
To: spodefly
I think all the freepers are asleep or need to be.
12
posted on
09/30/2004 1:14:19 AM PDT
by
texastoo
(a "has-been" Republican)
To: kattracks
KERRY SAYS THE TAN'S REAL BUT IT'S EASY TO FAKE IT Yeah, his tan's as real as a pair of silicon boobs.
13
posted on
09/30/2004 1:21:33 AM PDT
by
gop_gene
To: texastoo
I'm going trolling for Michael Moore, see ya later...
14
posted on
09/30/2004 1:22:08 AM PDT
by
ApesForEvolution
(You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
To: ApesForEvolution
Where do you come up with such great pics?! (strictly rhetorical)
To: kattracks
KERRY IS TOAST!!!!!
To: kattracks
This thread has to be headed for the humor hall of fame.
17
posted on
09/30/2004 1:49:59 AM PDT
by
laredo44
(Liberty is not the problem)
To: blondee123
We figure out WHO did the tan...and I'll bet we find the same unimpeachable source that forged the CBS/Burkett documents.
18
posted on
09/30/2004 1:51:36 AM PDT
by
andie74
(W stands for Women)
To: politicalwit
To: kattracks
20
posted on
09/30/2004 2:13:14 AM PDT
by
Watery Tart
(Note to the NYT: now THAT was a sneer.)
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