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KERRY SAYS THE TAN'S REAL BUT IT'S EASY TO FAKE IT
New York Post ^ | 9/30/04 | MICHAEL KANE

Posted on 09/30/2004 12:37:58 AM PDT by kattracks

September 30, 2004 -- JOHN Kerry is one bronzed candidate - or is that tan-di-date?

The Democratic nominee and windsurfing enthusiast says he picked up his brand-new glow at a football game last week in Massachusetts - just in time for tonight's first presidential debate.

But can a rain-drenched New Yorker get a Kerry glow in time for the debate?

To find out, I tried the friendly folks at Hollywood Tans on 25th Street and Sixth Avenue.

"I want to look like John Kerry," I announced.

The staff at the front desk laughed.

"I saw that photo," said staffer Iris Elton. She said she wasn't sure they could pull off a pumpkin-orange glow - "but we can make you look really dark," she said.

"How long do you think that would take?"

Elton thought it over.

"Six seconds," she said. "That's for the full-body Instant Tan, which will last about four days."


(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: agentorange; kerry; oompaloompagate; orangekerry; trafficcone
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1 posted on 09/30/2004 12:37:58 AM PDT by kattracks
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To: kattracks

I heard the following joke:
Kerry, Jack O Lantern: Orange in September, Carved up in October, Thrown out in November.


Kerry is now an orange weirdo.


2 posted on 09/30/2004 12:42:07 AM PDT by putupjob
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To: kattracks
In the interest of public service, I am posting this handy reference chart:


3 posted on 09/30/2004 12:42:56 AM PDT by spodefly (A bunny-slippered operative in the Vast Right-Wing Pajama Party.)
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To: spodefly

4 posted on 09/30/2004 12:47:55 AM PDT by PhilDragoo (Hitlery: das Butch von Buchenvald)
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To: PhilDragoo

Take 2 parts "Embarrassment Red" plus 2 parts "Cowardly Yellow" equals One "Kerry Orange"


5 posted on 09/30/2004 1:02:08 AM PDT by politicalwit (NBC,CBS,ABC=Bermuda Triangle of the News Media)
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To: PhilDragoo

Excellent!!


6 posted on 09/30/2004 1:03:28 AM PDT by Casloy
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To: kattracks
The Democratic nominee and windsurfing enthusiast says he picked up his brand-new glow at a football game last week in Massachusetts - just in time for tonight's first presidential debate.

I went to college in Boston and never could get any tan up there, even when I stayed through the summer. Another episode of Unlikely Stories.

7 posted on 09/30/2004 1:04:07 AM PDT by weegee (What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
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To: kattracks

Maybe it was Kerry's subtle way of telling the home audience that we would be in a constant MINUMUM threat level ORANGE if JfK was elected President.


8 posted on 09/30/2004 1:08:11 AM PDT by weegee (What's the provenance, Kenneth? Where did the forged SeeBS memo come from?)
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To: kattracks
New Footage Just In From sKerry's Cambodian Christmas:

9 posted on 09/30/2004 1:08:55 AM PDT by ApesForEvolution (You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
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To: kattracks
"Kerry Says the Tan's Real"

CBS says the MEMOS are real! LOL

10 posted on 09/30/2004 1:12:45 AM PDT by blondee123 (Proud Member of the FR Pajama Blogger Brigade - New Sheriffs in Town!)
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To: ApesForEvolution
RATS everywhere are hitting the....

11 posted on 09/30/2004 1:14:06 AM PDT by ApesForEvolution (You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
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To: spodefly

I think all the freepers are asleep or need to be.


12 posted on 09/30/2004 1:14:19 AM PDT by texastoo (a "has-been" Republican)
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To: kattracks
KERRY SAYS THE TAN'S REAL BUT IT'S EASY TO FAKE IT

Yeah, his tan's as real as a pair of silicon boobs.

13 posted on 09/30/2004 1:21:33 AM PDT by gop_gene
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To: texastoo
I'm going trolling for Michael Moore, see ya later...

14 posted on 09/30/2004 1:22:08 AM PDT by ApesForEvolution (You will NEVER convince me that Muhammadanism isn't a veil for MASS MURDERS. Save your time...)
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To: ApesForEvolution

Where do you come up with such great pics?! (strictly rhetorical)


15 posted on 09/30/2004 1:33:54 AM PDT by philman_36
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To: kattracks
KERRY IS TOAST!!!!!


16 posted on 09/30/2004 1:41:06 AM PDT by smoothsailing (Eagles Up !!)
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To: kattracks

This thread has to be headed for the humor hall of fame.


17 posted on 09/30/2004 1:49:59 AM PDT by laredo44 (Liberty is not the problem)
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To: blondee123

We figure out WHO did the tan...and I'll bet we find the same unimpeachable source that forged the CBS/Burkett documents.


18 posted on 09/30/2004 1:51:36 AM PDT by andie74 (W stands for Women)
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To: politicalwit

Brilliant!


19 posted on 09/30/2004 2:05:09 AM PDT by Sociopathocracy
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To: kattracks

20 posted on 09/30/2004 2:13:14 AM PDT by Watery Tart (Note to the NYT: now THAT was a sneer.)
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