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The hottest job on the market right now is being the Iranian Ayatollah, but why is everyone suddenly buzzing about it? Here are just eight of the most incredible perks that come with being the new Supreme Leader: Neat hat that can easily hide a bag of Cheetos: Very few jobs out there right now offering Cheeto hats. Free pagers: People will literally just give them to you. Job is secure even if you lose your legs: How many careers can say that? Can issue fatwas against anyone who annoys you: Telemarketer calls during dinner -- fatwa. Falafel truck...

TEHRAN — With rumors about his sexual preferences circulating amid the ongoing military conflict ravaging his country, the new Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei was reportedly disappointed to learn that the 72 virgins awaiting him in paradise were all women. Sources within the regime revealed that the recently chosen supreme leader had called his most trusted Muslim scholars to search the Quran to determine if the 72 virgins awaiting martyrs in paradise had to be female. "You could tell he was pretty bummed," said one insider. "We've all heard the rumors for years, and his father tried to keep it under...

In another interesting development out of the ongoing Operation Epic Fury, or, as our Israeli allies call it, Operation Roaring Lion, the Israel Air Force (IAF) has destroyed an aircraft that was employed by the late Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, to coordinate with proxy groups like Hamas and Hezbollah. While the late, unlamented Ayatollah is coordinating with nothing more than six feet of Iranian soil now, there was always the possibility that this aircraft could have been put to some nefarious purpose, like spiriting regime loyalists out of harm's way. No longer. Now the airplane has been reduced to...

U.S. intelligence has circulated to President Trump and to a small circle around him that Iran's late supreme leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, had misgivings about his son replacing him, multiple sources familiar with the matter told CBS News. The analysis showed the elder Khamenei was wary of his son, Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei, ever taking power because he was perceived as not very bright, and was viewed as unqualified to be leader, according to sources. The information gathered also indicated that the father was aware that his son had issues in his personal life, according to sources within the administration, the...

Trump is telling people that he’s gay. This is worth taking seriously as a strategic communication rather than dismissing it as provocation or noise. If Trump is circulating the claim that Mojtaba Khamenei is gay, the first question Alliance Theory asks is what coalition function that claim serves. It is not primarily an intelligence disclosure. It is a weapon designed to operate inside the Islamic Republic’s own internal coalition logic. The Islamic Republic’s legitimacy rests on a specific architecture of moral authority. The Supreme Leader is not just a political figure. He is the Vali-e Faqih, the guardian jurist, the...

By possibly telling the Iranians that President Trump did NOT want to attack Iran, did that give Iranian officials the confidence they could get together for a big meeting, the meeting in which the Ayatollah and other Iranian bigwigs got hit with a massive bombing resulting in the termination of the Ayatollah and many/most at the top including the severe wounding/death of the Son of the Ayatollah aka the Cardboard Ayatollah?Here is more detail of that scenario:This photo is hilarious in hindsight.Trump knew Tucker was talking to Iran.So he invites him to the Oval Office before the strike… knowing Tucker...

President Donald Trump said Iran must “surrender” to end the war and claimed he is hearing the country’s new supreme leader may already be dead. “I’m hearing he’s not alive, and if he is, he should do something very smart for his country, and that’s surrender,” Trump said of Mojtaba Khamenei in a phone interview with NBC News. Trump added he is unsure whether the Iranian leader is still living. “I don’t know if he’s even alive. So far, nobody’s been able to show him,” he said. The president also said Iran is seeking negotiations but that he is not...

Mojtaba Khamenei has stepped out from the bunker to make his first comments as Iran’s new supreme leader, more or less. It was on state media, the same propaganda tool that tried to claim his father, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, was still alive after we turned him into an ashtray in the initial wave of attacks during Operation Epic Fury. Mojtaba was reportedly badly injured in an airstrike, losing one or both legs and being put into a medically induced coma. He is unaware of his new role as leader, the deaths of his family members, or the broader war. We’re...

During the first hour of Operation Epic Fury, Iran's Islamic government was obliterated. An Israeli airstrike struck a leadership meeting at Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's compound in Tehran around 8 a.m. (Tehran time) on February 28. Not only was Khameini killed, but the casualty list included about 40 other senior officials who could reasonably be in the line of succession. In fact, it seems as though the mullahs have elected one of the victims of the airstrike, Mojtaba Khamenei, as their Grand Poohbah. He hasn't been seen (White House Trolls Iran As Regime Tries to Hide ‘Supreme Leader’ Condition – RedState)...

TEHRAN — Rumors of the Ayatollah regime's nefarious plot to launch an assault on the west coast of the United States hit a snag on Wednesday, as Iran canceled plans to attack California after seeing Gavin Newsom had already destroyed it. The Iranian government had issued threats that it was prepared to take revenge on the U.S. by launching attacks against California, but leaders were said to have reconsidered their plan after intelligence reports showed that the state had been completely decimated under Newsom's leadership. "You can't destroy something that's already destroyed," said a spokesman for the supreme leader. "We...

VIDEOThe son of the former Ayatollah who recently met his end, Mojtaba Khamenei, has been reportedly WOUNDED shortly after assuming the role of Supreme Leader of Iran. At this time it is unknown if the new Ayatollah is severely wounded or merely "John Kerry wounded."

Death is supposed to clarify a life, not distort it.AdvertisementObituaries are meant to record history, not rewrite it.But in today’s corporate media, even death cannot escape ideological spin.AdvertisementConsider the recent coverage of Ayatollah Ali Khameini, Iran’s Supreme Leader for more than three decades. In the Washington Post, readers were introduced to a man with a “bushy white beard and easy smile,” an “avuncular figure” fond of Persian poetry and Victor Hugo’s Les Misérables. Some acquaintances described him as a “closet moderate.”AdvertisementImage: AI illustrationAdvertisementA closet moderate? That description might surprise the regime’s political prisoners — and its victims.For more than three...

Imagine all of this sturm und drang over someone who may not even be vertical and respiratory. Ever since the death of Ali Khamenei in the opening seconds of the joint US-Israeli military action, Iran has technically been without a head of state. The Supreme Leader in Iran controls all policy and action, as well as commanding all of the armed forces of the Islamic Republic. Ali Larijani and Masoud Pezeshkian can issue orders while hiding in hospital offices, but they do not have the perceived divine and theological authority that the top mullah has in these systems, and that...

A three-day state funeral for Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei has been 'postponed' hours before it was due to begin, Iranian state media reports. The ceremony was supposed to unfold this evening at the grand mosque in Tehran but, with Israeli and American strikes continuing to pound the city, will now be rearranged. Organisers claimed it was delayed 'in anticipation of unprecedented turnout', and reportedly want to wait until the necessary infrastructure is in place. Iranian TV reported: 'The farewell ceremony for the martyred Imam has been postponed. The new date will be announced later.' Hojjatoleslam Mahmoudi, head of Iran’s...

Joint Israel-US strikes on the Iranian regime are taking place just as Jews are set to mark a festival commemorating another war against a Persian official who sought their destruction. Saturday morning, just over an hour after Israel and the United States began airstrikes against the Iranian regime, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed Israel and the world in a video statement. In his speech, Netanyahu noted that the confrontation with Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and his supporters was taking place as Jews prepared to mark the anniversary of another war fought against an official from ancient Persia. “My brothers and sisters,...

NEW YORK, NY — After U.S. military action against the Ayatollah, New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly getting nervous that President Donald Trump keeps assassinating Muslim dictators. The radical extremist now ruling as the leader of an oppressive Islamic regime in the Big Apple was overheard asking his closest advisors for plans to take cover to avoid Trump's ongoing campaign to wipe out all Muslim dictators who threaten the security of the United States. "There aren't many of us left," Mamdani reportedly told one aide. "Trump keeps taking out all of our best guys. Every radical Muslim dictator...

On Saturday, after weeks of failed negotiations, the US and Israel unleashed ‘Operation Epic Fury’ on the wicked Iranian regime. The successful military strike took out the top officials of the Iranian regime, including: Ali Khamenei (Supreme Leader). Ali Shamkhani (Defense Council Secretary / senior advisor). Mohammad Pakpour (IRGC commander). Aziz Nasirzadeh (Defense Minister). Abdolrahim Mousavi (Chief of General Staff / Armed Forces Chief of Staff). There are reports that the coordinated hit took out 40 top level officials from the radical Islamic regime. Three Americans were killed in retalitory strikes by Iran, five more are in serious condition. Iran...

We've watched the videos of American and Israeli firepower just lay waste to Iranian defenses and the regime hierarchy.Videos are now coming from some of our Navy ships at sea, too, of missile launches.CENTCOM RELEASED RAW FOOTAGE OF U.S. STRIKES ON IRAN 🔥🇺🇸American precision bombs raining down on regime targets RIGHT NOW.The “Death to America, Death to Israel” terror regime is getting absolutely hammered from every side — Israel, now the U.S., and they still can’t land a… pic.twitter.com/N9As2z3fgn— American™ (@1776_13) March 1, 2026And thanks to the protection of the good Lord and the utter professionals in our Armed Forces,...

Iran's theocratic leadership took a big hit on Saturday, starting with the head goblin himself, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who has now assumed room temperature. Our Townhall colleague Dmitri Bolt puts the number of regime bigwigs transformed into former regime bigwigs at over 40.So far, according to Israeli sources, the deaths include Ali Larijani, Khamenei's deputy, and Ali Shamkhani, a top security advisor. Other reported casualties among high-ranking figures include Esmail Qaani, head of the IRGC Quds Force; Mohammad Pakpour, the newly appointed IRGC commander; and Defense Minister Amir Nasirzadeh. However, Iranian officials have denied these reports.Iranian officials, we might note,...

Iran’s Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei was killed in an Israeli airstrike in Iran this morning, an Israeli official tells Israeli media. “ Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was assassinated in an Israeli strike on Tehran, with his body found under the rubble caused by an Israeli airstrike, senior Israeli officials were informed on Saturday evening,” the Jerusalem Post reports. “Documentation of Khamenei's body was reportedly shown to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.”