At Last: Khamenei Funeral Finally Set for July, 4 Months After US Airstrike Death

rs ^ | 11:48 AM on June 13, 2026 | Ward Clark

[chief lee runamok]

Iran has now scheduled the long-postponed public funeral of the old goblin, the Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Islam generally requires burial within 24 hours, but American and Israeli explosives have delayed the late ayatollah's funeral rites.

[chief lee runamok]

Anonymous sources report the reason being that it took that long to find all the body parts.

[rktman]

Happy 4th of July everyone.

[jeffersondem]

At least it won’t be December 25.

[xp38]

I suppose this is nitpicking but I thought it was an Israeli strike not a US one that did the ole Imam in.

[lightman]

Goodie!

All the “Free, free Palestine” pro-sharia useless idiots will be glued to the festivities in Iran and leave our Quarter-Millenial celebration alone!

[BipolarBob]

Would it be in poor taste to bomb the funeral? Asking for a friend.

[kawhill]

“At Last: Khamenei Funeral Finally Set for July, 4 Months After US Airstrike Death”. I guess that means his command was terminated with extreme prejudice.

[Dixie Yooper]

The last Iotola’s(not looking the spelling up) funeral, had the mob pulling his body from the casket. This time there will be more for them to play with.

[PghBaldy]

Is this evidence the peace agreement is actually near?

[RckyRaCoCo]

Silence, I kill you.

[CatOwner]

Of course it will be July 4th.

[Slingwing]

So getting him in the ground before the sun fell is just a myth?

[Skid289]

“Would it be in poor taste to bomb the funeral?”

Don’t know but it would be good strategy

[clearcarbon]

"Islam generally requires burial within 24 hours, but American and Israeli explosives have delayed the late ayatollah's funeral rites."

"We can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make him better than he was..."

[Magnum44]

[libstripper]

Looks like we may have given some secret assurances that they will be able to get away with it without being bombed and, I am purely guessing, that they also gave us the assurance that they will sign off on the deal that Trump has outlined. All of this is guesswork to be repudiated as soon as things change

[adorno]

Anonymous sources report the reason being that it took that long to find all the body parts.

Either that or the Iranians are using a body-double, or just a scarecrow made to look like the Ayatollah. Saddam Hussein use to have several body doubles, so, why not the Ayatollah?

Piecing the body parts back into a whole body, would require a lot of glue and duct-tape, and would look monstrous, which would make him undesirable to the 72 virgins he was supposed to get.

[mass55th]

In the meantime, we should take the opportunity to blow his ass up again.

[Allegra]

[lee martell]

Closed Coffin. Man without a face.