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 I have never been adjudicated in a court of law as being "mentally diseased". At least not yet, but there's still time. Author, Me
.I was once placed on waivers for the purpose of giving me my unconditional release. Author Me

When I was a much younger man I was an avid whitetail and mule deer hunter here in central Kansas. I would get up about 3:30 a.m., eat some breakfast, get dressed and go out into the bush when it was still dark and wait for the sun to rise. What always amazed me is that after false-dawn, just before the sun rose above the horizon, the wind would calm completely. For just a brief moment. The wind pretty much blows out here constantly. I will never forget those mornings. It was almost as if the Creator was telling me: "I made this Earth for you and gave you dominion over the beasts and fishes and birds and fowl. Now, be a good steward of the land. And also help your fellow man in whatever way I made you capable of."

"Whatever America hopes to bring to pass in the world, must first come to pass in the heart of America". Dwight David Eisenhower. Born in Denison, TX. Raised in Abilene, KS. USA . .
."We will be soldiers, so our sons may be farmers, so their sons may be artists" Thomas Jefferson.
. Isiah 6:8 Also, I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And said I, “Here am I. Send me!” .
. St. Luke 23: Verse 39-43 Now one of those robbers who were hanged was abusing him saying: "If thou art the Christ, save thyself and us!" But the other in answer rebuked him and said, "Dost not even thou fear God, seeing that thou under the same sentence? And we indeed justly, for we are receiving what our deeds deserved; but this man has done nothing wrong." And he said to Jesus, "Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom." And Jesus said to him, "Amen I say to thee, this day thou shalt be with me in paradise.".
."Even a feeble minded man wants to be like other men. A child may not know what to eat, or even how to feed itself, but it knows what hunger is." Daniel Keyes, "Flowers for Algernon".
."No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed by some, to dream." Hill House, not sane, stood by itself against its hills." Shirley Jackson, "The Haunting of Hill House".
."Energy Accounting: Energy Balance for Closed Systems." "Fundamentals of Engineering Thermodynamics." Michael J. Moran ,"Howard N. Shapiro",et. all.
."Because there's a conflict in every human heart, between the rational and the irrational, between good and evil. And good does not always triumph. Sometimes, the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called 'The better angels of our nature.'" General Corman, "Apocolypse Now".
."And Jesus was a sailor when He walked upon the water And He spent a long time watching from His lonely wooden tower and when He knew for certain only drowning men could see Him He said, "All men will be sailors then Until the sea shall free them" But He Himself was broken Long before the sky would open Forsaken, almost human He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone And you want to travel with Him And you want to travel blind And you think maybe you'll trust Him For He's touched your perfect body with his mind." Leonard Cohen, "Suzzanne".
."Helicopters are phenomenal machines. You can float in the air. You can be like God." Ron Ferrizze, Helicopter Crew Chief, 1st Air Calvary, November 1967, Republic of South Vietnam.
."A life is like a garden. Perfect moments can be had, but not preserved, except in memory." Leonard Nimoy.
."The text that comes most readily to mind is the one about living by the sword and dying by the sword, but I don't think that it really applies-not unless there is something far deeper in it than I can detect. I understand, of course, that those who live by warfare are likely to die by warfare since their thinking turns them to war, and even in peace they are at war with their fellows. Beyond that I cannot go. I appear to have touched bottom and exhausted the text. In any case, I doubt that when Christ uttered these words He had in mind the as yet unwritten game laws of French Equatorial Africa, which, as Thompkins pointed out to me, were designed not to protect animals from Man, but to protect Man from Man. "The game laws say nothing whatever about the actions of animals," he said. "Animals are thoroughly reliable. They do exactly what is required of them and they never think of doing anything else. Their conduct does have to be regulated. The lion will not kill unless he is hungry, and then he will most certainly kill. He does not kill to expand his personality or to gloss over flaws (true or imaginary) with which he cannot live. He kills because he personally needs to eat." "Man," he said, does not behave as his Creator intended him to. Therefore laws have to be laid down to govern his behavior." Leonard Wibberley, "Meeting With a Great Beast".
.Historians don't really like to deal with counterfactuals--with what might have been. They want to talk about history. "And how the hell do you know, McNamara, what might have been. Who knows?" "Well, I know certain things. What I'm doing is thinking through with hindsight, but you don't have hindsight available at the time. I'm very proud of my accomplishments. And I'm very sorry that in the process of accomplishing things, I've made errors." Robert Strange McNamara, in "The Fog of War" Written by James G. Blight & Janet M.Lang.
." We are the hollow men We are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas! Our dried voices, when We whisper together Are quiet and meaningless As wind in dry grass Or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar, Shape without form, shade without colour, Paralysed force, gesture without motion; Those who have crossed With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom Remember us-if at all-not as lost Violent souls, but only As the hollow men The stuffed men.", T.S. Eliot "The Hollow Men".
."June 10 Deterioration progressing. I have become absent-minded. Algernon died two days ago. Dissection shows my predictions were right. His brain had decreased in weight and there was a general smoothing out of cerebral convolutions as well as a deepening and broadening of brain fissures. I guess the same thing is or will soon be happening to me. Now that it's definite, I don't want it to happen. I put Algernon's body in a cheese box and buried him in the back yard. I cried." Daniel Keyes, "Flowers for Algernon".
."It's not your fault. No one asked you to suffer. That was your idea." Mary Burke in "Bringing Out The Dead".
."At the beginning of an undertaking the enthusiasm is always greatest. And at that time both in the Peloponnesus and in Athens there were great numbers of young men who had never been in a war and were consequently far from unwilling to join this one." Thucydides, "The Peloponnesian War".
."Vietnam, my husband went there, didn't pick up a gun for over 30 years. He went hunting one night and I chided him about shooting Bambi, he said I used to shoot men for 10 cents an hour. Broke my heart." Author Unknown.
Father Carl Patrick Cummings said to Slovik, "Eddie, when you get up there, say a little prayer for me." Slovik replied with his last words: "Okay, Father, I'll pray that you don't follow me too soon". ."The Execution of Pvt.Slovic".
."No, I would not give you false hope On this strange and mournful day But the mother and child reunion Is only a motion away Oh, little darling of mine I can't for the life of me Remember a sadder day I know they say let it be But it just don't work out that way And the course of a lifetime runs Over and over again No, I would not give you false hope (no) On this strange and mournful day But the mother and child reunion Is only a motion away Oh, little darling of mine I just can't believe it's so Though it seems strange to say I never been laid so low In such a mysterious way And the course of a lifetime runs Over and over again But I would not give you false hope (no) On this strange and mournful day When the mother and child reunion Is only a motion away" Paul Simon.
."He broke from them and then he broke from himself. I've never seen a man so broken up and ripped apart." Captain Willard, "Apocalypse Now".
."Those who adapt, you go there with one mindset and you adapt. You adapt to the atrocities of war, to the killing and dying, until it doesn't bother you. I should say it doesn't bother you as much." Roger Harris, 1st Battalion, Third Marine Division Con Thien, the Rockpile, the Market Place. Republic of South Vietnam, March 1967.
."In peace, sons bury their fathers. In war, fathers bury their sons" - Herodotus.
. "I was reminded that when we lose and I strike out, a billion people in China don't care." Reggie Jackson.
 "When you've played this game for ten years and gone to bat seven-thousand times and gotten two-thousand hits do you know what that really means? It means you've gone zero for five-thousand." Reggie Jackson.
."Aw, to sleep, perchance not to dream." Philip Joseph Caputo "A Rumor of War".“To die, to sleep – to sleep, perchance to dream – ay, there’s the rub, for in this sleep of death what dreams may come…” (Hamlet).
"Shit!" The chair dropped forward with a bang. The trooper furiously stubbed out his cigarette in the base of a hacksawed 155 shell-casing and stormed out. There was silence from the other men. No words of annoyance at my failure to pick up the mail. But no words to gloss over the rudeness of their teammate either. For that trooper-for all of them at that moment-a mailman was more important than anyone who showed up with two bars on his collar, even a doctor. Lanny Hunter, "Exit Wounds"
At the man's heels trotted a dog, a big native husky, the proper wolf dog, gray coated and without any visible or temperamental difference from its brother the wild wolf. The animal was depressed by the tremendous cold. It knew it was no time for travelling. Its instinct told it a truer tale than was told to the man by the man's judgement. In reality, it was not merely colder than fifty below zero; it was colder than sixty-below, than seventy below. It was seventy-five below zero. Since the freezing point is thirty-two above zero, it meant that one hundred and seven degrees of frost obtained. The dog did not know anything about thermometers. Possibly in its brain there was no sharp consciousness of a condition of very cold such as was in the man's brain. But the brute had its instinct. It experienced a vague but menacing apprehension that subdued it and made it slink along at the man's heels, and that made it question eagerly every unwonted movement of the man as if expecting him to go into camp or seek shelter somewhere and build a fire. The dog had learned fire, and it wanted fire, or else to burrow under the snow and cuddle its warmth away from the air. Jack London "To Build a Fire"

"The cold coast of Greenland is barren and bare No seed time nor harvest is ever known there And the birds here sing sweetly in mountain and dale But there's no bird in Greenland to sing for the whale There is no habitation for a man to live there And the king of that country is the fierce Greenland bear And there will be no temptation to tarry long there With our ship bumper full, we will homeward repair." George Scroggie 1850

For there shall be no remembrance of the wise no more than of the fool for ever, and the times to come shall cover all things together with oblivion: the learned dieth in like manner as the unlearned." Ecclesiastes 2:16

Chapter Three Emotional Distance: "To Me They Were Less than Animals" -Lt. Col. Dave Grossman "On Killing-The Psychological Cost of Learning to Kill in War and Society"

"Would you bury me next to Griffen? Don't you think you ought to die first? It's gonna happen you know. Where the hell else you think I'd bury you, it's where my family lies. You think the dead really care about our lives? Yeah, I think they do. I think they forgive us our sins. I even think it's easy for them." Einar Gilkyson and Mitch Bradley in "An Unfinished Life"

"Did they say why Willard? Why they want to terminate my command? I was sent on a classified mission sir. It's no longer classified is it. What did they tell you? They told me that you had gone totally insane and that your methods were unsound. Are my methods unsound? I don't see any method at all sir" Col. Walter E. Kurtz and Captain Willard "Apocalypse Now"

I'll make you a deal. If you can tell me, right now, what the life expectancy was for a 2nd Lieutenant dropped into a hot LZ in Vietnam in 1968 I'll tell you everything I remember about Calou. Uh, one week. Negative, sixteen minutes, sixteen fucking minutes. And that's all I remember about Calou." "Rules of Engagement"

"Lay me doon in the caul caul groon Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun Lay me doon in the caul caul groon Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun When they come a wull staun ma groon Staun ma groon al nae be afraid Thoughts awe hame tak awa ma fear Sweat an bluid hide ma veil awe tears Ains a year say a prayer faur me Close yir een an remember me Nair mair shall a see the sun For a fell tae a muslims gun (sic) Lay me doon in the caul caul groon Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun Lay me doon in the caul caul groon Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun Whaur afore monie mair huv gaun". Sgt. Joseph Kilna McKenzie

"There is in true beauty, as in courage, something which narrow souls cannot dare to admire." William Congreve

Do you know what the man is saying? Do you? This is dialectics. It's very simple dialectics. It's one through nine. No maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space. You can't go out into space you know...Without like, you know, with fractions. What are you going to land on? One-quarter, three eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus? That's dialectic physics, okay. Dialectic logic is, there's only love and hate. You either love somebody or you hate them. Apocalypse Now

"That man who shot you died in prison. Angola yeah. What would you have done had he been released? Nothin' probably. Wouldn't be no point. The more time you spend trying to get back something that's been took from you, the more's running out the door. Sooner or later you got to try just to get a tourniquet on it" Uncle Ellis and Ed Tom Bell "No Country for Old Men"

"Fear not the night. Fear that which walks the night. And I am that which walks the night. But only evil need fear me...And gentle souls sleep safe in their beds. Because I walk the night. Carpe Noctem! (Seize the Night!)" Lt. Col. Dave Grossman

"What does it taste like? You don't know what a pear tastes like? I don't know what a pear tastes like to you." Seth and Maggie in "City of Angels"

"I saw the inconceivable mystery of a soul that knew no restraint, ... yet struggling blindly with itself." Joseph Conrad

“Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.” John Robert Wooden

How about another: “Adversity is the state in which man most easily becomes acquainted with himself, being especially free of admirers then.”

Now Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. And a servant girl came up to him and said, “You also were with Jesus the Galilean.” But he denied it before them all, saying, “I do not know what you mean.” And when he went out to the entrance, another servant girl saw him, and she said to the bystanders, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.” And again he denied it with an oath: “I do not know the man.” After a little while the bystanders came up and said to Peter, “Certainly you too are one of them, for your accent betrays you.” Then he began to invoke a curse on himself and to swear, “I do not know the man.” And immediately the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly. St. Matthew Chapter 26 Verse 69-75

"Bernard I want you to know that I try, I really try. When Jean and the kids in the school tell me that I'm supposed to control my violent temper and be passive and non-violent like they are, I try, I really try. But when I look at this girl who is so special to us we call her 'God's gift of sunshine', so degraded, and I think of the number of years she's going to have to carry in her memory the savagery of this idiotic moment of yours, I just go berserk." Tom Laughlin "Billy Jack"

"When the days are cold And the cards all fold And the saints we see are all made of gold When your dreams all fail And the ones we hail Are the worst of all, and the blood's run stale I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you But with the beast inside There's nowhere we can hide No matter what we breed We still are made of greed This is my kingdom come This is my kingdom come" Imagine Dragons
"Have you ever considered any real freedoms? Freedoms of the opinions of others? Even the opinions of yourself?" Col. Walter E. Kurtz "Apocolypse Now"
"And the lights are all on, the world is watching now People looking for truth, we must not fail them now Be sure, before we close our eyes Don't walk away from here 'Til you hear both sides, no no no no Here we are all gathered in what seems to be the centre of the storm Neighbours once friendly now stand Each side of the line that has been drawn They've been fighting here for years But now there's killing on the streets While small coffins are lined up sadly, now united in defeat We always need to hear both sides of the story" Phil Collins

"One of these nights about twelve o'clock The old world's goin' to reel and rock; The sinners gonna tremble and cry for pain And the Lord will come in His aeroplane Ho, ye weary of ev'ry tribe Get your ticket for an aeroplane ride Jesus the Savior is coming to reign And take you up to glory in His aeroplane Talk about your joyrides in automobiles Of lightning speed on your motor wheels; We'll break all records as up we'll fly On an aeroplane joyride thru the sky Ho, ye weary of ev'ry tribe Get your ticket for an aeroplane ride Jesus the Savior is coming to reign And take you up to glory in His aeroplane You'll have to get ready if you take this ride Quit all your meanness and humble your pride; You must furnish a light both bright and clean And a vessel of oil to run the machine Ho, ye weary of ev'ry tribe Get your ticket for an aeroplane ride Jesus the Savior is coming to reign And take you up to glory in His aeroplane" John Rutter


"Well, it took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball, and I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." Henry Aaron

"Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer." Ted Williams

"I want to make this clear, we did not torture prisoners and we did not mutilate them. But to be a prisoner you had to make it to the rear. If we got ahold of him, if he fell into our hands, he was just one sorry f@cker. It's hard to explain, that it would make sense." John Musgrave, 1st Battalion, Third Marine Division May 1967, Republic of South Vietnam.

""No one notices your tears. No one notices your pain. No one notices your sadness. But they all notice your mistakes.” Author Unknown

“Music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.” William Congreve

“But say what you will, 'tis better to be left than never to have been loved. To pass our youth in dull indifference, to refuse the sweets of life because they once must leave us, is as preposterous as to wish to have been born old, because we one day must be old.” William Congreve

"This song is a stream of consciousness song, which means essentially is that you never listen to the lyrics. You just listen to the feelings that they convey. But you can't listen to it, you just have to feel it." Neil Diamond about "Holly Holy".

"Airports see more sincere hugs and kisses than wedding halls. The walls of hospitals have heard more prayers than the walls of churches." Author Unknown

"One hand touched the daughter's grave, the other that of the sons...He was not a man in whom pity had a large home but compassion ran deep in him now. For perhaps ten minutes he looked down at her and listened, until the utter bitterness of it, the quivering of her flesh and soul in the loss, was more than he chose to endure. Laying his rifle down and holding the roast with his left hand, with his right he draped the robe across her shoulders and over her lap. He then set the green stick in the earth at her side, with the spitted roast on it. She gave no sign that she was aware of him. After looking at her a full minute he was convinced she was not. Our Father in heaven, could grief be deeper than that!". Vardis Fisher "Mountain Man"

"You know when a man is deeply broken and hurt he goes into a very dark place only himself can get out of, no matter what people do or say no advice will be any good". Author Unkown

"The middle of May is a time of hope in Newfoundland. The hope is that winter will at last disappear. Although snow may yet fall, alder and birch are beginning to bud in inland valleys. Out on the barrens the larch trees are still bare, but horned larks and buntings fly bravely, low to the ground, over wind-rippled clumps of tussock grass. Along the coast the first warblers-blackpolls, myrtles and yellowthroats-begin to invade sheltered pockets of drawf spruce on the lee slopes of towering headlands. In each outport, as the more isolated fishing communities are generally known, laughing troops of boys and girls eagerly clutch long bamboo poles as they srike out over the barrenlands in search of their favorite pond. If the wind drops and the sun comes on strong, insects will rise, birds will sing, and hungry little brook trout will fill their creels. But, of course, the gray clouds in the west can at any moment race across the moors, spitting wet snow or cold rain, and force the children to run home. It does not matter, really. Tomorrow or the next day will do as well. Spring in Newfoundland is not a recognizable climatic season. Rather it is a state of mind. Hope identifies and sustains it throughout, a sure hope that winter will inevitably relax, that children will soon be free to play long hours out of doors, and that men can return to the sea". William W. Warner "Distant Water"

"After 3 brutal combat tours in Vietnam I finally hung up my uniform and headed out on the road in civvies. Spent the next two years on the road looking for myself. This song always takes me back. I left Vietnam however Vietnam never left me. I’m 75 now and I’m still looking for me. Maybe I’ll head back out again on the road ... Maybe I’ll be there waiting for me." Author Barry Smith writing about the song "Me and You and a dog named Boo"

"I worry that my son might not understand what I've tried to be. And if I were to be killed, Willard, I would want someone to go to my home and tell my son everything. Everything I did, everything you saw, because there's nothing that I detest more than the stench of lies. And if you understand me, Willard, you will do this for me." Col. Walter E. Kurtz "Apocalypse Now"

"They train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it is obscene." Col. Walter E. Kurtz "Apocalypse Now"

"We don't search for old songs we search for old memories" Author Unknown

"The saddest moments in life are when the people we made the best memories with become a memory" Author unknown