Humor (Religion)
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A youth pastor in Germany has drawn fierce criticism after blessing the union of four men to each other at a pubic wedding event, insisting that the LGBTQ polucule were now “married before God.” Lena Müller initially posted the picture earlier this month in a since-deleted Instagram post, writing, “On Friday evening, I was allowed to celebrate my first poly wedding.” Müller and her church are part of the Evangelical Church Berlin-Brandenburg-Silesian Upper Lusatia (EKBO), a progressive denomination with a membership of 880,000 and nearly 1800 churches, Each year they hold a Pop-up Wedding Festival in Berlin where people can...
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The false prophet who predicted that the Rapture would take place late last month has set the date for the REAL Rapture, insisting it will take place some time between October 7-8 of this year “”The 7th and 8th of October is the real Feast of the Trumpets. I’m a billion percent sure.” Three months ago, Joshua Mhlakela—a “believer” from South Africa who claimed to have once been a pastor—came out of nowhere and began claiming that Jesus came to him in a dream in 2018 and told him: “On the 23rd and the 24th of September, 2025, I will...
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It's 6am on December 25, and I’ve just finished Fajr prayer, the first prayer of the day. I hear the quiet scurries of my mum downstairs beginning to prep the food for Christmas Day. I sit in peaceful silence in my room like I do every time after praying. It’s my time between me and God. I look around my room and above my desk, I see pictures of me at 2023 Manchester Pride sporting a T-shirt with ‘Queer, Muslim & Proud’ written on the front. ...I was in Thrace, on the shores of northern Greece when I first heard...
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O believers! Do not enter the homes of the Prophet without permission ˹and if invited˺ for a meal, do not ˹come too early and˺ linger until the meal is ready. But if you are invited, then enter ˹on time˺. Once you have eaten, then go on your way, and do not stay for casual talk. Such behaviour is truly annoying to the Prophet, yet he is too shy to ask you to leave. But Allah is never shy of the truth. And when you ˹believers˺ ask his wives for something, ask them from behind a barrier. This is purer for...
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Prophetess Katie Souza’s bio says she was a “career criminal most of her life,” being “convicted of a number of felonies and sent to federal prison to serve almost twelve years” before God saved her nearly twenty years ago. In reality, it should read that she’s still a career criminal, with her crimes no longer being drug possession and gun running, but rather a criminal mishandling of God’s word- certainly a theological felony- demonstrating that the grift never ended. After leaving prison, she wrote a bunch of books and founded Katie Souza Ministries. She now hosts the TV show ‘Healing...
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NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, a group of Episcopalian parishioners has found a strange old book hidden underneath one of their church's pews. The book, labeled "Holy Bible" on the front of it, was apparently unknown and completely foreign to everyone at the church, leaving leaders in fear that the church may have been infiltrated by right-wing religious extremists. "It contained strange text and verses we had never seen before," said Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe. "Just a cursory glance through this ‘Bible' was troubling. It appears to speak of an almighty deity none of us are familiar with...
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MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA - While Christians have often complained of bias in the selection of which days Google honors with its "Google Doodles," believers around the country were reportedly ecstatic to find that the search and advertising giant chose to honor the empty tomb of Jesus on Easter morning with an empty homepage. While many significant holidays like International Women's Day, Labor Day, and "Celebrating Pad Thai" are honored with a specially designed Google logo for the day, the celebration of Jesus's resurrection was given the highest honor, with a completely unaltered Google homepage. "Just as Christ left a completely...
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Arch-heretic Kenneth Copeland, the richest prosperity preacher in America, is known for many things. This includes giving false prophecies about COVID being destroyed, throwing someone in a wheelchair to the floor, casting away bald spots in Jesus’ name, running his own bizarro Bible college, claiming God gave prophetess Heidi Baker ‘The United States’, and claiming he once sowed a seed of an airplane to reap an even better airplane. What many people don’t, however, is that he has starred in several movies, including The Treasure of Eagle Mountain, which we have previously cataloged. Another one of his more memorable roles...
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Pope Challenges Jesus To Debate On Whether All Religions Lead To GodROME — Sources close to Pope Francis confirmed that the 87-year-old Bishop of Rome has just challenged Jesus Christ to a debate on how people can get to heaven.According to Francis, the debate has been in the works for quite a while, though he's hoping that Jesus will finally take him up on the offer now."I really need set the Lord straight," said the successor of the Apostle Peter. "We've just kept missing each other. One of those 'prayer tag' things, you know? Anyway, I heard Jesus said something...
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A Nigerian prophet has come under intense scrutiny after his prediction that the rapture and the end of the world would coincide on April 25, 2024, failed to materialise. Despite proclaiming to have been shown the date through divine revelations during trances, the prophet’s claims have sparked a mixture of ridicule and criticism across social media platforms. The prophet, with the handle @Prophetmetu on X, claimed he experienced the visions on two separate occasions, expressed his own trepidation about the revelations. In his statement, he emphasised the clarity of his visions, where he saw two distinct mountains and felt a...
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Arch-heretic Jesse Duplantis tried to justify his massive wealth accumulation during a recent broadcast episode of his show, but his wife accidentally called him out as an “ungodly man” over a blatant scripture twist. The decrepit money-grubber is known for his love of filthy lucre and declaring that the Lord’ flexes on him by ‘giving’ him a private jet. Perhaps the best living example of a two-fold son of hell that will spend eternity screaming in horror in the lake of fire if he doesn’t repent, we wrote about him recently after he argued that if you don’t believe in...
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A server and her co-workers have been left shaking their heads after a series of interactions with a woman who was convinced the world was ending on April 8, 2024 — and who is now hoppin' mad and behaving in a most un-Christian fashion. Unlike most eclipses, the one on April 8 was special for Americans because the U.S. was in the "path of totality," a roughly 100-mile-wide swath from Texas to Maine in which the Moon completely obscures the Sun and ushers in a brief period of nighttime in the middle of the day. "A woman came to our...
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This is the hilarious moment that a nun grapples a climate protester to the ground after an eco-mob attempted to stop a new church from being built in France. The clip shows the nun sprint across the muddy construction site of a Catholic centre in Saint-Pierre-de-Colombier in Ardèche, and charge towards one of the campaigners, grabbing him from behind. The protestor who is carrying two large cylinders in each hand as he attempts to run away from the nun, loses his balance as the nun grapples him towards the ground. Gripping tightly onto his jacket, the nun pulls the eco-protester...
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Christian comedy. Good stuff.
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Self-proclaimed “prophet” and “seer”, Micah Turnbo—who is straight out of the heretical IHOPKC and the Kansas City Prophets movement—has amassed a huge following on social media, but his spectacle is more theatrical than theological. Brandishing titles like “Seer Prophet” and “Pastor of Prophetic Ministry” at Vineyard Church Northwest in Cincinnati, Ohio, Turnbo might seem convincing to those who simply want their ears tickled. However, for those deeply rooted biblical convictions, Turnbo’s claims ring hollow. Turnbo’s background, according to his bio, includes growing up in a so-called “prophetic” family and attending schools like Cincinnati Christian University and International House of Prayer....
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Many people are quite familiar with Martin Luther's famous 95 Theses that he nailed to the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg, Germany in 1517, but have you ever heard about his other theses that were left out at the last minute? They include some real scorchers!In a Babylon Bee exclusive, we have obtained a list of theses Martin Luther thought twice about posting.If any pastor asks his congregation to say hi to each other in an extended greeting time, let him be anathema: Preach. Golf isn't a sport: Luther's argument appears to be that if overweight elderly people...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkTgYiMDRHY Short and sweet!
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