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Posted on 05/17/2025 7:29:50 AM PDT by PittsburghAfterDark
NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, a group of Episcopalian parishioners has found a strange old book hidden underneath one of their church's pews.
The book, labeled "Holy Bible" on the front of it, was apparently unknown and completely foreign to everyone at the church, leaving leaders in fear that the church may have been infiltrated by right-wing religious extremists.
"It contained strange text and verses we had never seen before," said Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe. "Just a cursory glance through this ‘Bible' was troubling. It appears to speak of an almighty deity none of us are familiar with in any way. This seems like it would be the sacred text for fringe, right-wing people who adhere to a dangerous set of fundamental values. We've launched a full investigation into how this ‘Bible' could have been brought into our church so we can prevent it from ever happening again."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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My dog chewed up my only vintage copy of Mad Magazine. 🙁
😆 pretty funny. Can be said of a great many “Christian denominations” these days unfortunately.
My only remaining copy is so worn out it's pathetic. It's the Summer 1980 compilation that came with a record that played a different ending. The record is long since lost. But i have the one copy my mother didn't throw when I went into the USAF.
You can sell your dog for oodles and claim it has “mad magazine dna” in it lol
Known as “diet Catholics”...all of the ceremony but none of the guilt.
What is an episcopal?
“What is an episcopal?”
It comes from Greek for bishop: episkos. It was named ‘Episcopal’ because the power of the church was in the bishops rather than in the Pope.
Sadly, they went astray and abandoned the Bible as their authority, hence the Babylon Bee satire.
“What is an Episcopal?”
Like a Catholic only different.
Church got infiltrated.
First by women’s rights activists, who demanded to be priests, and then the inevitable devolution to queers led by the odious Vicky Gene Robinson.
Complete collapse after that.
You know why Episcopalians are lousy chess players?
The cannot tell the difference between the bishop and the queen!
JAMBOG!
Episcopalians Find Strange Old Book Hidden Under Pew
05/15/2025 2:40:13 PM PDT · by DFG · 31 replies
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/15/2025 | Babylon Bee
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/4317237/posts
Same article, same source, two days ago.
Search still works.
Same for me, I remember the first time I heard people speaking in tongues in an Episcopalian service and was completely shocked, followed by a Episcopal wedding where the priest entered the church in blue jeans and a flannel shirt with a boombox on his shoulder to provide the music for the ceremony
Left there by a time traveller from another dimension.
If its an old book found in an Episcopal Church, its probably one of Noam Chomsky’s early works
Episcopal and Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) services always include Bible readings, but the readings go over like water off a duck’s back!
These church bodies are dying—killed by leftist nonsense and denial of traditional Christian beliefs and practices. Too bad!
Therefore:
Lutheran (EL C S*A) Ping!
* as of August 19, AD 2009, a liberal protestant SECT, not part of the holy, catholic and apostolic CHURCH.
Alleluia! Christ is Risen!
Just wanna push a fat knuckle sandwich through the face of that punk...guess he gets a woody clippin the girls
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