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Episcopalians Find Strange Old Book Hidden Under Pew
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 15, 2025 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/17/2025 7:29:50 AM PDT by PittsburghAfterDark

NEW YORK, NY โ€” According to sources, a group of Episcopalian parishioners has found a strange old book hidden underneath one of their church's pews.

The book, labeled "Holy Bible" on the front of it, was apparently unknown and completely foreign to everyone at the church, leaving leaders in fear that the church may have been infiltrated by right-wing religious extremists.

"It contained strange text and verses we had never seen before," said Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe. "Just a cursory glance through this โ€˜Bible' was troubling. It appears to speak of an almighty deity none of us are familiar with in any way. This seems like it would be the sacred text for fringe, right-wing people who adhere to a dangerous set of fundamental values. We've launched a full investigation into how this โ€˜Bible' could have been brought into our church so we can prevent it from ever happening again."

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Ecumenism; Humor; Mainline Protestant; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bible; episcopal; extremeism; humor; religion; satire; searchworks

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After having grown up in the Episcopal church; baptized, confirmed, numerous summer camps, youth group etc. I found this so on point for the church that has left me.
1 posted on 05/17/2025 7:29:50 AM PDT by PittsburghAfterDark
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

My dog chewed up my only vintage copy of Mad Magazine. ๐Ÿ™


2 posted on 05/17/2025 7:31:49 AM PDT by cuban leaf (2024 is going to be one for the history books, like 1939. And 2025 will be more so, like 1940-1945.)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

๐Ÿ˜† pretty funny. Can be said of a great many “Christian denominations” these days unfortunately.


3 posted on 05/17/2025 7:42:57 AM PDT by Bob434 (Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana)
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To: cuban leaf
My dog chewed up my only vintage copy of Mad Magazine. ๐Ÿ™

My only remaining copy is so worn out it's pathetic. It's the Summer 1980 compilation that came with a record that played a different ending. The record is long since lost. But i have the one copy my mother didn't throw when I went into the USAF.

4 posted on 05/17/2025 7:43:10 AM PDT by IYAS9YAS (There are two kinds of people: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.)
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To: cuban leaf

You can sell your dog for oodles and claim it has “mad magazine dna” in it lol


5 posted on 05/17/2025 7:44:09 AM PDT by Bob434 (Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

Known as “diet Catholics”...all of the ceremony but none of the guilt.


6 posted on 05/17/2025 7:46:38 AM PDT by damper99
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

What is an episcopal?


7 posted on 05/17/2025 7:48:33 AM PDT by doorgunner69 (Your oath of enlistment has no expiration date)
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To: doorgunner69

“What is an episcopal?”

It comes from Greek for bishop: episkos. It was named ‘Episcopal’ because the power of the church was in the bishops rather than in the Pope.

Sadly, they went astray and abandoned the Bible as their authority, hence the Babylon Bee satire.


8 posted on 05/17/2025 7:52:03 AM PDT by Forgiven_Sinner (Seek you first the kingdom of God, and all things will be given to you.)
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To: doorgunner69

“What is an Episcopal?”

Like a Catholic only different.


9 posted on 05/17/2025 7:54:40 AM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped)
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To: Forgiven_Sinner

Church got infiltrated.

First by women’s rights activists, who demanded to be priests, and then the inevitable devolution to queers led by the odious Vicky Gene Robinson.

Complete collapse after that.


10 posted on 05/17/2025 7:55:29 AM PDT by Regulator (It's fraud, Jim)
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To: damper99

You know why Episcopalians are lousy chess players?

The cannot tell the difference between the bishop and the queen!


11 posted on 05/17/2025 7:57:12 AM PDT by gas_dr (Conditions of Socratic debate: Intelligence, Candor, and Good Will)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

JAMBOG!

Episcopalians Find Strange Old Book Hidden Under Pew

05/15/2025 2:40:13 PM PDT ยท by DFG ยท 31 replies
Babylon Bee ^ | 05/15/2025 | Babylon Bee

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/4317237/posts

Same article, same source, two days ago.

Search still works.


12 posted on 05/17/2025 8:02:02 AM PDT by Paal Gulli
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

Same for me, I remember the first time I heard people speaking in tongues in an Episcopalian service and was completely shocked, followed by a Episcopal wedding where the priest entered the church in blue jeans and a flannel shirt with a boombox on his shoulder to provide the music for the ceremony


13 posted on 05/17/2025 8:15:22 AM PDT by srmanuel
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

Left there by a time traveller from another dimension.


14 posted on 05/17/2025 9:48:12 AM PDT by Candor7 (Ask not for whom the Trump Trolls,He trolls for thee!<img src="" width=500</img><a href="">tag</a>) )
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

If its an old book found in an Episcopal Church, its probably one of Noam Chomsky’s early works


15 posted on 05/17/2025 10:04:11 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: PittsburghAfterDark; lightman

Episcopal and Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) services always include Bible readings, but the readings go over like water off a duck’s back!

These church bodies are dying—killed by leftist nonsense and denial of traditional Christian beliefs and practices. Too bad!


16 posted on 05/17/2025 10:15:48 AM PDT by Honorary Serb (Kosovo is Serbia! Free Srpska! Abolish ICTY!)
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To: Regulator
(Vicky Gene Robinson)

I thought you were joking about the first name. Then I looked.

I knew about the guy just had no idea that he had adopted "Vicky" as part of his name.

The Enemy sows confusion.

The Enemy certainly knows how to destroy.

LGBTQ+ / "transgender" are diabolical weapons of mass destruction.

Against Normal Society as well as churches.

U.K. FEMALE vs. MALE "TRANSGENDER" in Rugby ๐Ÿ‰



AMERICAN DEMOCRATS CALL "TRANSGENDER" MALES "WOMEN"
17 posted on 05/17/2025 4:03:25 PM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the Days of Lot; They did Eat, They Drank, They Bought, They Sold ......)
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To: Regulator

18 posted on 05/17/2025 5:27:12 PM PDT by lightman (Beat the Philly fraud machine the Amish did onest, ja? Nein, zweimal they did already!)
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To: aberaussie; Aeronaut; aliquando; AlternateViewpoint; AnalogReigns; Archie Bunker on steroids; ...
In August of 2001 the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) estabalished a "Full Communion Partnership" with The Episcopal Church through the adoption of "Called to Common Mission".

Therefore:



Lutheran (EL C S*A) Ping!

* as of August 19, AD 2009, a liberal protestant SECT, not part of the holy, catholic and apostolic CHURCH.

Alleluia! Christ is Risen!

19 posted on 05/17/2025 5:29:16 PM PDT by lightman (Beat the Philly fraud machine the Amish did onest, ja? Nein, zweimal they did already!)
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To: SaveFerris

Just wanna push a fat knuckle sandwich through the face of that punk...guess he gets a woody clippin the girls


20 posted on 05/17/2025 7:16:06 PM PDT by Regulator (It's fraud, Jim)
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