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Posted on 05/15/2025 2:40:13 PM PDT by DFG
NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, a group of Episcopalian parishioners has found a strange old book hidden underneath one of their church's pews.
The book, labeled "Holy Bible" on the front of it, was apparently unknown and completely foreign to everyone at the church, leaving leaders in fear that the church may have been infiltrated by right-wing religious extremists.
"It contained strange text and verses we had never seen before," said Presiding Bishop Sean Rowe. "Just a cursory glance through this ‘Bible' was troubling. It appears to speak of an almighty deity none of us are familiar with in any way. This seems like it would be the sacred text for fringe, right-wing people who adhere to a dangerous set of fundamental values. We've launched a full investigation into how this ‘Bible' could have been brought into our church so we can prevent it from ever happening again."
The congregant who discovered the book was still shaken up over the incident hours later. "I've heard things about this book," said parishioner Lawrence Daly. "Terrifying things. People who read and believe the things in this book believe in a ‘God' who will someday hold unrepentant people accountable for something called ‘sin' and… and… I'm sorry, I can't talk about it. I knew I had to notify the church leaders about it. An Episcopal church is the last place for a book like this."
At publishing time, sources close to the Episcopal Church said an investigation was underway to determine the identity of the book's owner and root out any hint of Christianity from its congregation.
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Good one for the Bee! LOL!
(The only thing we ever found under our church pews was dried gum.)
hysterical!
Having grown up in that church, I don’t think this is parody.
The Bee strikes to close to home here.
It is and it isn’t...
If Catholicism isn’t liberal enough you have Methodist. If they aren’t liberal enough you go Episcopalian.
There’s one in my mother’s neighborhood.
I’m quite sure they are very excited about and making preparations for June.
Pride Month is like Advent and Christmas in summertime for them.
(Episcopalians Find Strange Old Book Hidden Under Pew)
You might think this is just a Babylon Bee 🐝 joke but it’s actually all-too+real..
But as I’ve mentioned several times, worked in (an unnamed) church organization that had been taken over by liberals (I had no idea).
They sold Bibles....all day long. WORLDWIDE.
God help you if you quoted from one...
Every single month ... church services onsite - on work time and even paid to attend.
In over 1-1/2 years never recall a Bible opened and verses read. Once... maybe...when a salesman lead the service.
I’d quote Scripture off the top of my head and they’d look at me like I’d just stepped off of a UFO 🛸🛸🛸
Because none of them had ever heard of such a thing.
Oh they read every single book OTHER than THE BOOK.
It was a bizarre experience for me coming from a Bible-based full Gospel church.
My mom belongs to an Episcopal church. Dad calls it the “church of whatever”.
L
The Episcopalians and their 10 Suggestions. Such a buncha kidders.
If Episcopal is the “church of whatever”, then what is Unitarian? “Church Of Anything Goes”?
Tell your Dad that that quip is very good. I am going to steal it. No royalties will be forthcoming, though.
And then Unitarian.
Oh my. It gets lower?
bttt
Scientology?
‘Hijacked To Promote The Killing Of Children’: Liberal Pastors Are ‘Blessing’ A Blue State Abortion Clinic
https://dailycallernewsfoundation.org/2024/12/27/liberal-pastors-bless-abortion-clinic/
At an abortion clinic in Maryland, a Presbyterian pastor, Baptist minister and Jewish cantor burned incense as part of a “ritual blessing” in order “to show that religion could be a source of support for abortion rights,” according to the New York Times. The women wanted to counter religious opposition to the procedure.
Liberal pastors have taken to “blessing” abortion clinics to signal support for women who choose to abort their babies according to a Friday report from The New York Times. “You all are blessings to those who come to you for care during some of their most vulnerable and sometimes painful moments,” Rev. Katey Zeh, an ordained Baptist minister, told the abortion clinic staff.
Zeh leads the “blessings” at abortion clinics through an organization she runs called the Religious Community for Reproductive Choice (RCRC), the NYT wrote. The organization aims “to end religious stigma around abortion.”
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