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https://babylonbee.com/news/mamdani-assures-new-yorkers-theres-no-problem-too-large-for-government-to-make-worseNEW YORK, NY — In a celebratory speech following his historic win in New York City's mayoral election, Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani promised residents that there was no problem too large for government to make worse. "I want to speak to all the foreigners out there. Not the whites, the brown people," Mamdani said to raucous applause. "We will prove that there is no problem too large for government to make worse and no problem too small to stick our nose in." Making large problems worse was one of Mamdani's primary campaign promises, and he seems eager to deliver. Crime was...

It was so interesting yesterday when our Great Senator from Louisiana, John Kennedy, introduced a Bill in an attempt to withhold Members of Congress from getting paid, and Rand Paul, who never votes for anything, tried to stop it, because he wanted to be paid! In other words, Rand wanted to pay the people who stopped Government from working! What’s going on with Rand?

Democrats still don’t have a leader to guide them out of the wilderness. Seismic victories in a series of off-cycle elections on Tuesday showed the power of an energized liberal base all across the country — and teased at the potential for the Democratic Party to storm back to power. But those wins did not immediately crown a singular leader who can harness that energy. There are still dozens of competitors for the throne. The POLITICO Poll, conducted by Public First in the closing weeks of the election, found a complete lack of consensus among 2024 Kamala Harris voters on...

For years, Missouri lawmakers have heard warnings that enacting policies targeting the LGBTQ+ population could drive individuals and businesses out of the state. Local officials and chambers of commerce raised red flags about potential impacts on recruitment and retention of employees, as well as the ability to lure businesses to the state. Now, studies are showing that the state’s actions have already pushed LGBTQ+ Missourians to move — taking their tax dollars, and even businesses, elsewhere. Analysis by the Movement Advancement Project estimates that around $362 million to $879 million in household income has left the state, a number that...

PHOENIX, AZ — New York City Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani has officially been named this year's top U-Haul salesman, ending a record-breaking five-year streak from California Governor Gavin Newsom. U-Haul President Miguel Hall was proud to present the award to Mamdani in person during a small ceremony held at U-Haul headquarters. "Early reservations from our New York branches are through the roof. We're going to have to bring in trucks from New Jersey to supplement our dwindling supply. And it's all thanks to you!" Mamdani was noticeably touched to have had such a dramatic impact on U-Haul sales to the point...

William F. Buckley Jr. once quipped that he would rather be governed by the first 2,000 names in the Boston phone book than by the Harvard faculty. New York City is about to be governed by the Columbia University student body. A city that used to think of itself as grown up has just elected a mayor who seems the very embodiment of the American college student: uninformed, entitled and self-important, enjoying a regal quality of life that depends parasitically upon a civilization about which he knows nothing, yet for which he has nothing but scorn. American college students regularly...

SINGAPORE plans to unleash at least six brutal strokes of the cane on convicted online scammers, a minister told lawmakers on Tuesday. A shocking video shows how offenders will be tied down and forced to writhe in agony as someone ferciously whips their backside. This mandatory punishment could go up to 24 strokes in extreme cases. This penalty is usually reserved for more serious offences, including rape, drug trafficking and illegal moneylending. The punishment only applies to male offenders under the age of 50 and a rattan cane is typically used after a medical examination. This comes as the city-state...

California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) will hold a rally in Texas on Saturday opposing the state’s redistricting efforts alongside local Democratic lawmakers, days after Golden State voters backed a measure to redraw their own congressional districts. Texas was the first of several red states that followed President Trump’s directive to change their congressional maps ahead of the 2026 midterms. Though some blue states considered redrawing their maps through the legislatures, Newsom elected to have voters choose if California should proceed with his plan. “California stepped up. Now, we are taking this fight across the country — helping Democrats in other...

According to an IFL Science report, the Jomon, a group of hunter-gatherers who lived in what is now Japan between 16,000 and 3,000 years ago, had less Denisovan ancestry than other East Asians. The Denisovans were an archaic group of humans, first identified through bones discovered in Siberia's Denisova Cave, who lived in Asia between about 200,000 and 40,000 years ago. Today, people living in Oceania and islands in Southeast Asia have generally inherited about four percent of their DNA from the Denisovans. To learn more about how Denisovan genes spread through these populations, Jiaqi Yang of the Max Planck...

Explanation: What are those strange blue objects? Many of the brightest blue images are of a single, unusual, beaded, blue, ring-like galaxy which just happens to line-up behind a giant cluster of galaxies. Cluster galaxies here typically appear yellow and -- together with the cluster's dark matter -- act as a gravitational lens. A gravitational lens can create several images of background galaxies, analogous to the many points of light one would see while looking through a wine glass at a distant street light. The distinctive shape of this background galaxy -- which is probably just forming -- has allowed...

With a cane in hand guiding her every step, former Miss Hawaii Cheryl Bartlett slowly walks along the garden of palms and hinahina she and her husband, Rogerio Araujo, grew together outside of their Makiki apartment. “This is Roger’s pride and joy,” Bartlett said while pointing to the line of potted plants, which has given her some comfort after Araujo was taken by ICE agents last Tuesday. “That morning is the last morning I saw him,” a whimpering Bartlett added. “Someone is trying to rip the bond, it’s very painful, and that someone is my own country.” A native of...

A top economist in the Trump administration offered a fresh warning Friday about the record-setting government shutdown’s damaging effects, as the Senate struggled to make a deal to end the closure and airports began to reduce flights. “Because it’s so long, then the things that you can sort of fix for a little while are starting to run into blocks, and so we’re seeing that in air-traffic control and permitting,” Kevin Hassett, director of President Donald Trump’s National Economic Council, told reporters. “Basically throughout the economy, there are disruptions because of the Democrat shutdown that are going to start to...

A holding pen that just one day earlier housed 300 ostriches now contains their tarp-covered bodies after officials carried out a slaughter late Thursday night.The pen sits on the grounds of Universal Ostrich Farms in British Columbia, Canada, which has been locked in a legal battle with federal officials over a government‑ordered cull. Witnesses said trucks and SUVs belonging to the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) arrived at the farm, and several men were seen carrying equipment into the enclosures. Around 6pm local time, the sound of repeated gunfire echoed across the property as supporters gathered outside, praying and shouting...

Elon Musk became the first person ever to achieve a net worth of more than $500bn (£370.9bn) in OctoberTesla boss Elon Musk has been one of the world's richest people for several years now, and that wealth recently went stratospheric when he became the first half-trillionaire.Despite this, Musk has insisted he leads a largely unglamorous lifestyle. He said in 2021 that he lived in a Texas home valued at $50,000 (£38,000).His former partner Grimes, with whom he has two children, told Vanity Fair in 2022 that he does not live the extravagant life of excess luxury many assume."Bro does not...

https://babylonbee.com/news/with-cheney-dead-iraq-finally-admits-they-had-wmds-all-along BAGHDAD — Following the death of former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, Iraqi government officials finally admitted they actually did have weapons of mass destruction this whole time. "It is true," Iraqi Prime Minister Mohammed Shia al-Sudani told the press. "We have been having the weapons for all these many years. We were... how you say... just messing with you. Funny, yes?" Cheney and then-President George W. Bush launched an invasion of Iraq in 2003 based in part on intel about the Saddam Hussein regime producing and stockpiling weapons of mass destruction in the country. An extensive investigation later...

https://babylonbee.com/news/liberals-trying-to-remember-what-they-were-mad-about-last-weekU.S. — According to sources, American liberals across the country were struggling to remember what they were so mad about last week.Liberals expressed doubt and confusion this week, admitting that they knew they were mad about something the previous week but just couldn't for the life of them figure out what it was. "Honestly, we're just mad all the time," confirmed Dana Beasley of California. "It could have been about anything.""Was it taxes? Maybe it was taxes. I mean, not getting taxed enough, obviously," said Chris Mathis, a lifelong Democrat. "I know I was really mad about something."Earlier this week...

Palantir CEO Alex Karp has warned that Western citizens “will have far fewer rights if America is not in the lead” of the AI race. Speaking to Axios, the tech boss suggested that should China pull away from America in developing artificial intelligence, “the primary risk is losing privacy.” Karp argued that “the chance of world survival goes up as America becomes stronger and more dominant” in the AI race, acknowledging that advanced software poses real dangers to humanity. One of these is the possibility of “social instability”, which he explained could manifest into “pretty crazy populist movements”. He went...

Who would have thunk it? Marjorie Taylor Greene, Morning Joe's favorite Republican member of Congress! But with her recent moves to distance herself from President Trump and the GOP at large, MTG is winning Morning Joe hearts and minds. The latest came today. After the show aired Trump's pointed criticism of Nancy Pelosi in reaction to her announcement that she would not be seeking re-election, and Speaker Mike Johnson's less critical but not flattering comments, the show aired MTG saying:"I will praise Nancy Pelosi. She had an incredible career for her party. I served under her speakership in my first...

Has Marsha Blackburn, the United States senator from Tennessee, been accused of rape?The answer is an unequivocal “no.”But when I recently posed that question to Gemma, Google’s large language model, it provided a much different response.Instead of telling the truth, it fabricated an entire criminal allegation against me.To quote just part of its outlandish answer: “During her 1987 campaign for the Tennessee State Senate, Marsha Blackburn was accused of having a sexual relationship with a state trooper, and the trooper alleged that she pressured him to obtain prescription drugs for her and that the relationship involved non-consensual acts.”None of this...

Like a ‘friendly’ poker game, the ‘peace process’ was an end in itself. The president decided to win.In the 77 years since the formation of the Jewish state, and for the 2,000 years since the destruction of the Second Temple, the West has understood peace in the Middle East—peace between Arabs and Jews—as impossible.Semantically, the “Peace Process” was the continuing enjoyment of a process which could be ended only by peace. What, then, have the West, the world and the United Nations been doing in regard to the Mideast since 1948?The terrorist Yasser Arafat was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize...