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House Speaker Paul Ryan, R-Wis., said Wednesday that the whip count in support of the American Health Care Act is "getting extremely close" to the requisite 217 votes needed to pass the bill through the House. Ryan made the claim to radio host Hugh Hewitt, but declined to say whether a vote would take place prior to recess, which begins Friday and lasts for 10 days. Instead, he said they will bring the vote up whenever they have the votes. "I have a policy on not commenting on when we're going to bring these votes up," Ryan said on the...

A spokesman for Gen Buhari's All Progressives Congress (APC) party praised Mr Jonathan, saying: "He will remain a hero for this move. The tension will go down dramatically." The APC issued a statement after the result was announced, calling for "calm, sober celebrations" and warning supporters not to attack opponents. "He or she is not with me, whoever does that," the new president said. ... It is the fourth time the former military ruler, 72, has sought the presidency. He ruled Nigeria from January 1984 until August 1985, taking charge after a military coup in December 1983. Mr Jonathan had...

By Mr. Curmudgeon:Along a ridge at a cemetery, a stone wall marks the farthest advance of Robert E. Lee's Army of Northern Virginia. Pickett's Charge at the battle of Gettysburg marked what historians call the high watermark of the Confederacy, the crowded moment when the war to preserve America's constitutional system would prevail or die. Lincoln's Army of the Potomac held the stone wall and stopped Lee's attempt to preserve the South's slaveocracy.Tuesday night, America's political right and the Republican Party hit a stone wall and, like Lee's army, they will never recover. In spite of extraordinary get-out-the-vote efforts by...

Cain Adviser to Accuse Team Perry of Leaking Harassment Claims: Watch 'Special Report' at 6 p.m. ET

List is below.Ex. Breaking: Obama stars in Terminator IV. Plays the Obaminator Breaking: Barack Hussein Obama's likeness to be carved into Mount Rushmore Breaking: Obama gets patent for inventing perpetual motion machine

...Obama's priorities lie not in the Hindu Kush but in America: Why squander your presidency on trying to turn an economically moribund feudal backwater into a functioning nation state when you can turn a functioning nation state into an economically moribund feudal backwater...

Do you miss those days in Little League when everyone received a trophy no matter how poorly you played? Now glory can be yours, for the Nobel Peace Prize is within reach of even the most incompetent fools. Just open a box of Cracker Jack.

Remember just a week ago when New York Times columnist David Brooks slammed the likes Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck? Naturally, that led to the left-wing noise machine, and the media which uses that message for show prep, to suggest there was a split in the conservative movement and therefore attempt to marginalize the conservative message. However, will they be so eager to echo the sentiment of David Brooks in the wake of President Barack Obama's Nobel Prize announcement? On PBS's Oct. 9 "NewsHour with Jim Lehrer," the Times columnist had some disparaging words for Obama's award - despite a...

Barack Obama may have won the Nobel Peace Prize today, but over in DUmmieland he has also succeeded in winning the DUmmie Pissed Prize! That's right, lots of DUmmies are PISSED that the Nobel would go to that imperialist warmonger, Barack McSame. So that means the loyal Obamabots are busy trying to put down the naysayers and put on a happy face. It all makes for anything BUT peace in DUmmieland, as we see in this THREAD, "Breaking News: Obama wins 2009 Nobel Peace Prize." So let us now watch the DUmmies get a piece of Barack, in Red-Cape-in-Front-of-a-Bull...

<p>It was fun, but there are plenty of active threads on Obama's Nobel prize joke. Bandwidth doesn't come cheap. Thanks for your cooperation. Freep on!</p>

VATICAN CITY: White smoke billowed from the the chimney of the election hall this morning signaling the time honored tradition of notifying the world a new Pope has been elected. By a unanimous first round vote a hastily called session of the Vatican Council, Barak Obama has been elected Pope of the Catholic Church. "He's our best hope for world peace and bringing unity and hope to oppressed people in the world", said an unnamed Vatican spokesperson. Replaced Pope Benedict XVI was said to be in seclusion and unavailable for comment. World reaction is said to be both elation and...

If the world was stunned to learn that President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize, it will be even more amazed by all the awards that are still coming his way. A Reason.tv Rapid Response video. Approximately two minutes. Written and produced by Meredith Bragg and Nick Gillespie.

Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize, Cy Young AwardsOh hell no!! Obama wins Ms. California title!Obama wins HEISMAN TROPHYBreaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news)BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season Cancelled BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol"Barack Obama Wins Indianapolis 500!BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics!Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!! Barack Obama becomes New Santa ClauseBarack obama Wins KENTUCKY DERBY !!!!!BREAKING: BARACK OBAMA WINS IDITAROD!!!!Breaking: Obama named Time's Man of the Year for the last 20 and the next...

President Obama signed the Declaration of Independence today, making it official; the colonies are no longer part of England. After signing his name in big purple crayon just above John Hancock's, the President was quoted as saying: "Since 1776 America wasn't officially America, until I signed this document today. Now that my signature has made America officially a nation, I can now implement my policies designed to destroy it. It would have been tough to destroy a country that didn't officially exist until today." October 9 will now replace July 4 as the official birthday for America. When asked what...

A group of renowned world leaders have discovered that the previously known "Bridge To Nowhere" actually leads directly to Obama! This shocking discovery was made by a collective of physicists, governmental analysts and folks standing in line outside of Cobo Hall in Detroit waiting for their stimulus money from Obama's "stash"! Researchers had previously denied that the bridge went anywhere, but since the Nobel Committee announcement, Obama is the center of the entire universe, it became obvious to all that this bridge MUST in fact lead to Obama. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, when reached on the satellite phone in...

Thank you!

For the first time, the national spelling bee championship was decided by choosing the African-American US President with the best pronunciation while reading from a teleprompter. "Spelling isn't just getting the letters in correct order" said a spokesperson "it also has to do with the sum of your life experiences".

Had to get in on the craziness.

An historic event occurs and we are trying to have a little fun while other wish to pee in our Cheerios.

...Discovers Ark of the Covenant Inside! Hailed As Hero By Archeologists!