WORLD — In keeping with the Olympics' commitment to sexual violence and Satan worship, the International Olympic Committee announced today that the 2028 games would be held in the towns of Sodom and Gomorrah. "They're a natural fit for us," explained Olympic Committee director Max Durgen. "Violent sexual debauchery forced upon unsuspecting visitors? Check. Openly mocking the Lord God? Check. They'll be hard pressed to top Paris, but I think they're up to the task." According to sources, the Olympic Committee has sought to ensure that fun games between nations meant to promote peace and friendship also destroy the innocence...