Free Republic

CORUSCANT — Despite rampant allegations regarding the appearance of a dark-robed figure engaging in nefarious activities on various star systems, the media maintained that there was no evidence that indicated the demon-horned man with Sith tattoos all over his face and body and wielding a red-bladed lightsaber was a member of the Sith. Journalists sought to debunk reports that the shadowy figure had terrorized multiple people by Force-choking them and zapping them with purple lightning, saying this alleged "evidence" was circumstantial at best and likely just hearsay. "Just because he has a red lightsaber and Sith tattoos doesn't make him...

U.S. — In response to mounting lawsuits over journalistic malpractice, ABC has decided to add a ticker telling viewers that for legal purposes, no should ever believe anything said on their news programs. The ticker will run on all ABC News broadcasts, any show where any network journalist opens their mouths, and will always be running on the ABC News website. "Nothing we say should ever be taken as having the slightest hint of truth to it whatsoever," said ABC News executive Darryl Ross at a press conference announcing the change. "For legal purposes, every word our anchors say should...