A villainous pair of swans have been tormenting the good citizens of Brimscombe, a tiny village in the Cotswolds, with such viciousness that it's become national news. According to Metro UK, the two swans have vandalized property, harassed vehicles on public thoroughfares, and even attacked children. Local residents, Metro reports, have been forced to go about armed with water pistols because the authorities refuse to step in. Swans, local officials inform the fearful residents, are "protected animals."