Free Republic

With President Biden's poll numbers continuing to fall and projections for November's elections looking grim, desperate Democrats called the January 6 buffalo guy on the phone to see if he'd be willing to stage another insurrection. "Yes, is this Jacob Chansley? Yes, I'd like to order an insurrection," Nancy Pelosi said to the infamous QAnon Shaman. "I know we've been saying insurrections are bad and stuff, but things are looking ugly for us and we've tried just about everything we can do to turn it around, but it's not good." "If you could maybe overthrow the government and force Biden...

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Today's drama regarding the ongoing search for the next Speaker of the House of Representatives was ground to a halt today as over 1,000 pro-Hamas protestors stormed the U.S. Capitol led by a buffalo hat-wearing Ilhan Omar. "Make Palestine great again!" Omar was heard shouting as she led a mob of angry rioters across the Capitol grounds before entering the building and positioning themselves in the rotunda. "We will not stand for the Israeli colonization of Gaza!" Chaos ensued as the protestors staged what everyone has been conditioned to believe is a violent insurrection of the American...

WYOMING—It was a blistering 7 below zero this morning at Yellowstone National Park, but that didn’t seem to faze Buffalo Guy Jake Angeli, who was grazing on the vegetation. FBI agents were made aware earlier this week that Yellowstone is Angeli’s natural habitat, so they arrived on the scene this morning with a warrant for his arrest and their weapons drawn. “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” shouted FBI agent Patrick Henderson as Angeli’s head emerged from the tall grass. “HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!” “You talking to me?” asked the Buffalo Guy with his mouth full. “Because these are clearly hooves, not...