Skip to comments.FBI Finds Buffalo Guy Grazing At Yellowstone Park
Posted on 01/12/2021 7:07:18 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WYOMING—It was a blistering 7 below zero this morning at Yellowstone National Park, but that didn’t seem to faze Buffalo Guy Jake Angeli, who was grazing on the vegetation.
FBI agents were made aware earlier this week that Yellowstone is Angeli’s natural habitat, so they arrived on the scene this morning with a warrant for his arrest and their weapons drawn.
“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” shouted FBI agent Patrick Henderson as Angeli’s head emerged from the tall grass. “HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!”
“You talking to me?” asked the Buffalo Guy with his mouth full. “Because these are clearly hooves, not hands.” Angeli then turned away and went to take a quick dip in the river.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
The SPLC-FBI always gets their buffalo!
Thank GAWD we still have our sense of humor! We’re going to need it in the trenches, for sure! :)
“Thank GAWD we still have our sense of humor! We’re going to need it in the trenches, for sure! :)”
Somebody sent me this in my email back in 1996:
Yo momma so stupid it took her two hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make up her mind
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money
Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center
Yo momma so stupid she watches The Three Stooges and takes notes
Dumb Animals are easy to find sometimes
Needs me some more Buffalo Man pitchers. He is a riot.
Yo mama’s so stupid, when she was filling out a form where it said “sign here” she wrote “Sagittarius”.
Yo mama’s house so small, the mat at the front door just says “Wel”.
Yo mama’s house so filthy, a roach came up and told me she’s got an ant problem.
Yo mama’s so fat, restaurants have signs saying “Capacity: 120 persons or yo mama.”
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said “Sorry, no professionals”
Yo momma so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said “What a treasure!” and her father said, “Yeah, let’s go bury it”
Yo momma so ugly they didn’t give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillance cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast-feed her
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say, “Damn, is it Halloween already?”
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry
Yo momma so ugly she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out
Yo momma so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn’t date her!
Yo momma so ugly the NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye
Nice touch! :)
As I was walking down the street,
Down the street, down the street,
A tatted furry guy I chanced to meet,
Oh, he was a hoot to see.
Buffalo Guy, won’t you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight.
Buffalo Guy, won’t you come out tonight
And riot by the light of the moon.
I stopped him and we had a talk,
Had a talk, had a talk,
His feet took up the whole sidewalk
And left no room for me.
Buffalo guy, won’t you come out tonight,
Come out tonight, come out tonight,
Buffalo guy, won’t you come out tonight,
And riot by the light of the moon!
Your momma is so fat that the Equator goes around her.
Your momma is so stupid that a team of proctologists with a searchlight couldn’t find her brain.
Your momma is so fat that an elephant tried to mate with her, and couldn’t
Your momma is so fat that when she tried to dance the “Bunny Hop”, she went through the floor
Your momma is so fat that she’s been banned from every “All You Can Eat” buffets in the state
Your momma is so dumb that she couldn’t remember the names of all her kids so she gave them a new Chinese name, “Hey You”.
Your momma is so drunk that she thinks Chuck Schumer looks like Rock Hudson.
Your momma is so drunk that she thinks Stacy Abrams is her “sister by another mother”.
Your momma is so dumb that she thinks an “asteroid” is a medical condition.
Your momma is so dumb that she things “Hillary Clinton” is part of the female anatomy.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she dances the band skips.
Yo mama’s so fat, her nickname is DAAAAAAAAMN!!
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.
Yo mama’s so old, Jesus owes her money.
I can hear Jimmy Stewart right now:
“Buffalo Guy why don’t you come out tonight,
come out tonight,
come out tonight.”
Now that I’m older, here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded...
5. All reports are in; Life is now officially unfair.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
13. Only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
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