LONDON — In an official response to the recent unrest in Great Britain, UK Prime Minister Kier Starmer has advised British citizens to avoid getting stabbed by just submitting to the Holy Koran and acknowledging Mohammed as the One True Prophet of Allah, peace be upon him. In his address to the great British public, Starmer noted that it "really isn't that hard" to not get stabbed, always providing that "one is a good Allah-fearing man and not an infidel." "I say, old chaps, just convert to Islam, what what?" Starmer reportedly said, gesturing towards a table where British government...