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https://babylonbee.com/news/trumps-strategy-of-hiring-lawyers-based-on-bust-size-not-working-as-well-as-anticipatedWASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump's seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked out nearly as well as anticipated. Trump was left befuddled this week as the administration suffered a string of legal setbacks despite all of his lawyers having large bra sizes. "How could she lose, she's so hot," wondered Trump. "It doesn't make any sense. Our lawyer clearly has a much larger bust than their lawyer. It's not even close. It's embarrassing, frankly, the bust comparison. We should have won easily. Maybe the judge is gay, or blind. There's no other way...

After several bruising weeks for Speaker Mike Johnson, a soft-focus podcast interview alongside his wife, conducted by Katie Miller, the wife of Stephen Miller, one of President Trump’s top advisers, had all the ingredients for a flattering reset. What emerged from the interview instead was a portrait of a Republican leader barely keeping his head above water in a job to which he does not appear particularly well suited, a conversation full of tragically revealing details packaged as rueful humor but with the biting sting of truth. “We have this joke that I’m not really a speaker of the House,”...

Cracker Barrel's embattled CEO has complained that she was 'fired by America' in a recent interview. Julie Felss Masino, the restaurant's president and chief executive officer, was saved by investors last week after 75 percent of shares were cast in her favor. The vote came after Masino's controversial efforts to give the brand a 'woke' revamp. In an interview with The Blaze's Glenn Beck, Masino discussed her leadership role.'This is probably very unfair to ask you. Were you surprised you weren't fired?' Beck asked. 'Um, I feel like I've been fired by America,' Masino said with a laugh. 'That's probably...

🇺🇸Pray For The Peace of Jerusalem 🇮🇱(11/27/25)[Prayer]The Scriptures in Handel’s “Messiah”Isaiah 53:4-54 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.Holy Bible, The King James Version________________________

For as deep as the insanity and corruption in Democrats run, it’s a rare occurrence that we actually see them paint themselves into a corner—somehow, no matter how vile they are, they’re almost always able to squeak on out of whatever trouble they’ve gotten themselves into…but I’m thinking that lucky streak has just come to a glorious end. According to a report from the New York Post, the New York City council, a 51-member governing board with 46 of those members being Democrats, attempted to quietly and speedily pass a fat personal pay raise earlier this month, just after the...

https://babylonbee.com/news/heaven-confirms-people-who-prefer-ham-at-thanksgiving-will-not-enter-the-kingdom HEAVEN — Celestial sources have recently confirmed that people who prefer ham to turkey at Thanksgiving will not enter the kingdom of God. According to the Almighty, preferring ham on the fourth Thursday of November is a sure sign of reprobation and will lead to a person's eternal damnation if they do not repent. "It is harder for one who prefers ham to enter the kingdom of Heaven than it is for a man to thread a needle," said Gabriel, a heavenly spokesangel. "Woe unto them who reject the grace of God by choosing the much-inferior ham to the...

As families gather to celebrate Thanksgiving, many worry about the impossibly high cost of health insurance. Let’s play a game of What If? (It will be fun, I promise.) What if healthcare dollars currently going to insurance companies were paid instead to the consumers themselves? Would good things result, or bad? This “what if” exercise was prompted by President Trump’s offhand suggestion to give ACA subsidies “directly to the people...[instead of]...BIG, BAD insurance companies”? (Republicans are currently considering this idea but only for the ACA.) Specifically, what if all the money called employer-sponsored health benefits that presently goes to insurance...

CONCORD, N.H. (AP) — No one wants a weasel on their Thanksgiving table, but swapping turkeys for other animals was once surprisingly common.Trading turkeys – for wildlife management, not dinner – was a key part of one of North America’s biggest conservation success stories. After dwindling to a few thousand birds in the late 1880s, the wild turkey population has grown to about 7 million birds in 49 states, plus more in Canada and Mexico, according to the National Wild Turkey Federation.In many cases, restoration relied on trades. The exchange rates varied, but Oklahoma once swapped walleye and prairie chickens...

Joe Biden let in thousands of unvetted Afghaans -- with terrible consequences for innocent U.S. troops protecting Americans. Amid the incredible chaos of Joe Biden's Afghanistan pullout, the importation of thousands of Afghan 'allies' was probably the worst aspect, worse than even the abandonment of billions of dollars of U.S. weaponry to the Taliban's avowed terrorists. Today's events show that we're still living with the consequences. We see that now with the terrorist attack on the U.S. National Guard members in Washington, D.C. by an Afghan national imported in by Joe Biden in what was ridiculously called Operation Allies Welcome....

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First, Newport, Ore., lost its Coast Guard rescue chopper. Then came the swirl of rumors and evidence that Immigration and Customs Enforcement was coming to town.The welcome signs on the edge of Newport, Ore., celebrate recent high school sports championships, point tourists toward the local aquarium and highlight two of its defining attributes — the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s Pacific fleet and its designation as one of the nation’s 37 “Coast Guard cities.”But the central coast town’s long, warm relationship with the federal government has been upended in recent weeks. First, a Coast Guard rescue helicopter was redeployed from...

This conquest begins with mass immigration and continues by infiltrating a country’s existing institutions. Muslim immigration is unlike anything we’ve experienced in the past. The current best estimates are that Islamic fundamentalists (those advocating for sharia law) make up between 20 and 30 percent of immigrating Muslims. Between 1991 and today, over 2 million Muslims arrived. Using the 20-30 percent figure, that would suggest that there are 200,000 to 400,000 Muslims here who do not intend to assimilate and, in fact, are here to spread traditional Islamists views, including Tamkeen (more on this term later) and Sharia Law, sometimes violently....

The suspect in the shooting of two National Guardsmen in Washington, D.C. on Wednesday reportedly had his asylum application approved by the Trump administration earlier this year, according to CNN. “What we know is that he comes here from Afghanistan. Now, this is a guy who’s been living in Washington state, not Washington, D.C. On the other end of the country,” reported CNN Chief Law Enforcement and Intelligence Analyst, John Miller:

Two National Guardsmen were shot and critically injured in Washington, D.C., when a suspect, identified as an Afghan national let in through a Biden-era program allegedly ambushed them Wednesday.Fox News’ Bill Melugin reported the suspect in custody “is an Afghan national who entered the U.S. on 9/8/2021 as part of the Biden admin’s Operation Allies Welcome in the aftermath of the US withdrawal from Afghanistan.”Melugin reported that the suspect’s “permission to be in the U.S. expired in September of this year, and he is now in the country illegally.”The Department of Homeland Security inspector general released a report in 2022...

MOUNT RAINIER, Wash. - A new study has revealed that Mount Rainier is experiencing a significant reduction in size due to shifting climate patterns. The findings, published in the "Arctic Antarctic and Alpine Research" journal, indicate that since 1950, Mount Rainier has decreased by more than 20 feet. Researchers attribute this shrinkage to the melting of snow and ice over the years. Researchers have been tracking the height decline using satellites, laser measurements and historical photographs.

Inquiry comes after the six lawmakers encouraged military to refuse orders they think are illegal Members of Congress who produced an explosive video last week said Tuesday they have been informed that the FBI is investigating them. The agency is seeking interviews with the six Democratic lawmakers, who were contacted through their respective chambers’ sergeant-at-arms’ offices, the members said. In the video posted last Thursday, four House members and two senators who served in the military or in the CIA urged those currently serving in U.S. military and intelligence positions to disobey unlawful orders. An FBI spokesperson declined to...

Charlie Kirk had many observations on the fundamentally Christian nature of Thanksgiving. It could be argued successfully that Thanksgiving is the ultimate manifestation of America’s Christian founding. There is no other observance like it in the world — because no nation like America has ever existed before. The mere act of stating this truth now triggers such ferocious attacks that we are kept perpetually on the defensive — distracted, impeded, and prevented from the free pursuit of higher thought that once propelled mankind forward. A great nation that can no longer speak its founding premise without apology is on the...

The Department’s nationwide audit exposed that Pennsylvania has issued licenses to ineligible and unqualified foreign drivers WASHINGTON, D.C. – U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean P. Duffy today announced that the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration (FMCSA) found Pennsylvania violated existing federal safety regulations by issuing non-domiciled commercial driver’s licenses (CDLs) illegally – including to ineligible foreigners without verifying their legal status. The Department will withhold nearly $75 million in federal funding if the state does not immediately revoke these illegally issued licenses and correct dangerous failures USDOT identified in its CDL program. ICE’s recent arrest of a suspected terrorist illegally in...

HONG KONG (AP) — Firefighters battled a blaze at a high-rise residential complex in Hong Kong for the second day on Thursday, as the death toll rose to 55 in one of the deadliest blazes in the city’s modern history.Thick smoke continued to pour out of the Wang Fuk Court complex, a dense cluster of high-rise towers housing thousands of people in Tai Po district, a northern suburb near the border with the mainland. Flames can still be seen inside the buildings Thursday evening.Hong Kong leader John Lee said contact had been lost with 279 people around midnight Thursday. Rescues...