Posted on 08/29/2004 4:44:09 AM PDT by stockpirate
To: stockpirate I am not sure this is the proper place to put this...but here goes... To All The Vets of Viet Nam,
I was born in 1955, a baby boomer...into an alcoholic and abusive family. I was 14 years old when Woodstock rocked this nation. I remember standing in front of a 12" black and white set watching it unfold on the 6 o'clock news. I also remember my father using the term..".long haired hippie pukes" and being totally disgusted with the whole mess. Being 14 with a father who like to use his fists..I naturally rejected anything he said as any kind of truth. He had lost my affection and my trust many years ago. My father also told the story of being wounded in the Korean war...he even had a scar to prove it. I later found out when I got older, that he had spent the entire war in England..so much for his credibilty.
My mother thought it would be good to alert me at that tender age of 14 about the drug scene that was waiting to prey upon me. She handed me a bunch of Life magazines with an expose of the underground culture of drugs. Living in a small town in Central NY..this was definitely a foreign concept. I was mesmerized by the pictures of hippies and the freedom they appeared to have. Oh how I longed to have a place in this world where I could breathe without fear of being hit. I was ripe for the picking.Within 6 months I found myself hobknobbing with drug dealers and the like.
The next couple of years I was entrenched in the drug scene..my friends were of like thinking..we had all bought into the Love, Peace, Free Sex and drugs doctrine being perpetuated on the youth of this nation. I became a sympathizer of the likes of Abby Hoffman and Jerry Rubin. Their books became gospel for me....I devoured the book.."Soul on Ice" by Eldredge Cleaver. I hated the Viet Nam war...not because of it's political significance...but the idea of war and chaos in general. I had seen too much of that as I was growing up...I longed for peace in my soul. I drank and drugged to relieve some of the inner pain.
I bought into anything that my father hated....and hated anything he bought into. My father was a veteran and stood by the President..even though he was a democrat.....He stood by his brothers in arms. So it was natural for me to take the opposing view. I hated war. Our little town had 3 casualties in the Viet Nam war..two of whom rode on my school bus....they were older than me but each had made a distinct impression on me as I rode the bus....I remember Joe who used to make the sound of a cricket as he ran his fingers along the roof of the bus...he was so tall!!..and Ron was the cute older brther of my sister's friend. Both gone, both dead and for what purpose? My teenaged brain couldn't comprehend the whole idea of death and war.
In 1975, I was 20 years old...a survivor of years of self abuse through my reckless lifestyle..and now a mother of two children. I sat in front of another TV and watched as they were airlifting people out of Saigon. A plane full of refugees were taking off when the plane, carrying children, crashed on takeoff. I sat in front of the TV set and cried...sobs coming from somewhere so deep inside of me....I realised as I was sitting there...that this was the first time I had ever cried for anyone else but myself. My heart was starting to unthaw from years of guarding it.
When the war ended I didn't abuse the vets who had served bravely for my country, no my attitude was worse than any abuse bestowed on them...mine was one of indifference, one of apathy, a "so what and who cares attitude." I never spoke a word that brought shame to a vet, but my heart was full of hatred for anyone who would willingly go and make war.
On Memorial Day, my father would put on his legion uniform and march in the parade and shoot his gun off at the village green in remembrance of those fallen. I watched with a mocking spirit within me. It was a big deal to him (dad) when he became post commander..all I could see was another opportunity for him to drink. I saw him as a hypocrit..a man who espoused peace and freedom ...who oppressed his family with violence and bondage.
But something happened to me over the years...an ideological change, a paradigm shift of thought. I woke up in the mid 1990's and I found myself with the same ideals my father had about his country. I fell in love with where I live and what it stands for. Maybe it was watching my children growing up and wanting better for them or Maybe it was watching CNN during the first Gulf war knowing my brother was in a tank somewhere inside Iraq... or maybe it was the day I sent my youngest son off to the Marines for safe keeping. Maybe it was coming to have faith in Christ. But something definitely changed within me. Maybe it was turning off the TV for a moment and allowing God to speak to me without all the static.
I joined Free Republic over a year ago at the request of a friend. And today I watched a video clip of the VVAW throwing their medals. I must have watched it 6 times. It was this clip that prompted me to write this piece. After so many years I wonder if it would really make any difference to the men and women who served our country by going to Viet nam, if I were to say.. from the bottom of my heart...that I AM SO SORRY for not giving you the Honor you so richly deserve. I am sorry for the indifference I showed you when you returned...of turning my eyes and closing my ears.. when I heard a derogatory remark aimed at you. Would it make a difference if I told you that I am proud of the service you gave to us on behalf of our freedom..that I appreciate your sacrifices and the blood shed for the freedom we all share today. It is 30 years late but I couldn't let another day pass with writing these thoughts down.Please Forgive Me.....
So you made the transition a little sooner than others, how lucky for you. Some I would think grew up in homes that were very liberal at the time.
Some for whatever reason believed the MSM.
This is why I am so grateful to the SwiftBoat Vets. It's time for this nation to step forward and say "We're so sorry". I used to have a friend who was into the protests. I asked her if she realized what happened as a result of those protests, if she understood the number of people who died because we pulled out, if she knew of the lives that were ruined by good men and women who came home to hatred or indifference. She did't care. That's why I say I HAD a friend.
I know this is meant for the vets, but as a daughter of a vet this means alot to me and perhaps other children of Vietnam Vets.
I ended up crying after reading this. I feel hopeful that maybe finally our vets will get the honor, respect and gratitude they so deserve.
They've never stopped to think of the people they've hurt. They've never stopped to consider what it must have been like to have been a soldier in Vietnam, so young, working so hard, only to have your youth and your idealism stolen from you.
And now? Now we are finally seeing the truth. Now we know that what they said was a lie. Now we are welcoming not only our veterans, but all decent people, home.
That being said, I now know that what started as a concept to contain communism ended as a political exercice. Endless lives were lost for a political experience and exercise. I don't fault those who fought honestly, and I never did, and most of those in command leadership.
That being said, we know that some of the things Kerry testified to took place. How much and how often will never be known. Same for the war we are currently engaged. Had those photos never been released, we would have happily gone on our way believing that "Amrerican values" were being used at every level and in every case. We would have gone on believing that the troop levels were adequate for the resistance that was experienced.
Since I never served in the military, I will probably never understand the "code" that these people experience. But even that "code" often extends too far. Just as within police forces, many horrible wrongs are never brought to the light of day because of the "code". Many political wrongs are never brought to the light of day because of the "code". Even during the Clinton administration, the "code" kept many of his misdeeds from being seen until legal actions were taken.
My feeling is even if Kerry's testimony was spot on in '71, the Swift Boat folks would have come forward to slay him, because of the "code". Frankly, I don't know if how close to being accurate or far from being the truth it was.
A tip of my hat goes out to those Viet vets who truly served honorably. Same for the men and women now engaged in trying to contain a horrible situation in Iraq. And to all who have served, thank you.
But don't let the "code" be the be all, do all.
Thanks!! You have friends here.
You make an interesting point about draft cards. A friend of mine says that a Taxocrat comes into where she works and tells her that if Bush gets reelected Bush will start the draft back up
Even though it is the Taxocrats that want to reopen the draft.
Thank you for your kind words, Vietnam Vets are grateful... I can not speak for other Vietnam Vets, but I can speak for myself, your forgiven.
Born '48, enlisted as a 'John Wayne' type at 17 in '65, discovered and listened to many political people of all races during those years, discovered drugs, fried my mind, discharged in late '67 (early out from Korea), continued frying my mind, tried the SDS route ... way too radical, stayed a 'love hippy' type, (until) I got saved in '81, married in '83, three kids and an entirely stable and patriotic mindset and world view later ... here I am.
Never condemned vets because I was one and I knew a lot from listening to guys that had been in country, I wanted to have a 'correct' position politically.
God Bless you, FREEPER.
I'm a '55er too, and with you 1000%. I am planning an open letter to VietNam Vets to apologize and admit my stupidity at the time.
If she wants to turn the poison of her youth into the medicine of her maturity and really make her words meaningful, she needs to share her experience with other LEFTIES that she knows. Many of them are ready to turn the corner and change their lives, they just need to hear it from 'one of their own'.
Thank you for that post. That took courage, although not nearly as much as turning your life around. I think you are a fine example of one reason Jesus wanted us to show compassion even for those we vehemently disagree with -- not just for ourselves, but because maybe, just maybe, through that compassion that person will see another, better way. As your story shows, an unfocused pathology of violence and anger only alienates others to your views -- something the Left this week in NYC will likely fail to appreciate.
That statement really brought tears. This is the first time I think anyone has stated what for me was the true pain coming home. Speaking only for myself, I was never insulted or spit on when I returned, but what ate away at me was the total indifference, and the presumption I must be damaged from the experience. I never thought about being thanked, but a "Welcome Home" would have been very healing.
Thank you for the wonderful words and the sentiment behind it. God bless you.
Oops. Somehow the implications of the first line escaped me. My above comment is, of course, addressed to the person who sent you the letter, stockpirate.
A very moving piece. Thanks for posting.
Well written.
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