Posted on 08/29/2004 4:44:09 AM PDT by stockpirate
To: stockpirate I am not sure this is the proper place to put this...but here goes... To All The Vets of Viet Nam,
I was born in 1955, a baby boomer...into an alcoholic and abusive family. I was 14 years old when Woodstock rocked this nation. I remember standing in front of a 12" black and white set watching it unfold on the 6 o'clock news. I also remember my father using the term..".long haired hippie pukes" and being totally disgusted with the whole mess. Being 14 with a father who like to use his fists..I naturally rejected anything he said as any kind of truth. He had lost my affection and my trust many years ago. My father also told the story of being wounded in the Korean war...he even had a scar to prove it. I later found out when I got older, that he had spent the entire war in England..so much for his credibilty.
My mother thought it would be good to alert me at that tender age of 14 about the drug scene that was waiting to prey upon me. She handed me a bunch of Life magazines with an expose of the underground culture of drugs. Living in a small town in Central NY..this was definitely a foreign concept. I was mesmerized by the pictures of hippies and the freedom they appeared to have. Oh how I longed to have a place in this world where I could breathe without fear of being hit. I was ripe for the picking.Within 6 months I found myself hobknobbing with drug dealers and the like.
The next couple of years I was entrenched in the drug scene..my friends were of like thinking..we had all bought into the Love, Peace, Free Sex and drugs doctrine being perpetuated on the youth of this nation. I became a sympathizer of the likes of Abby Hoffman and Jerry Rubin. Their books became gospel for me....I devoured the book.."Soul on Ice" by Eldredge Cleaver. I hated the Viet Nam war...not because of it's political significance...but the idea of war and chaos in general. I had seen too much of that as I was growing up...I longed for peace in my soul. I drank and drugged to relieve some of the inner pain.
I bought into anything that my father hated....and hated anything he bought into. My father was a veteran and stood by the President..even though he was a democrat.....He stood by his brothers in arms. So it was natural for me to take the opposing view. I hated war. Our little town had 3 casualties in the Viet Nam war..two of whom rode on my school bus....they were older than me but each had made a distinct impression on me as I rode the bus....I remember Joe who used to make the sound of a cricket as he ran his fingers along the roof of the bus...he was so tall!!..and Ron was the cute older brther of my sister's friend. Both gone, both dead and for what purpose? My teenaged brain couldn't comprehend the whole idea of death and war.
In 1975, I was 20 years old...a survivor of years of self abuse through my reckless lifestyle..and now a mother of two children. I sat in front of another TV and watched as they were airlifting people out of Saigon. A plane full of refugees were taking off when the plane, carrying children, crashed on takeoff. I sat in front of the TV set and cried...sobs coming from somewhere so deep inside of me....I realised as I was sitting there...that this was the first time I had ever cried for anyone else but myself. My heart was starting to unthaw from years of guarding it.
When the war ended I didn't abuse the vets who had served bravely for my country, no my attitude was worse than any abuse bestowed on them...mine was one of indifference, one of apathy, a "so what and who cares attitude." I never spoke a word that brought shame to a vet, but my heart was full of hatred for anyone who would willingly go and make war.
On Memorial Day, my father would put on his legion uniform and march in the parade and shoot his gun off at the village green in remembrance of those fallen. I watched with a mocking spirit within me. It was a big deal to him (dad) when he became post commander..all I could see was another opportunity for him to drink. I saw him as a hypocrit..a man who espoused peace and freedom ...who oppressed his family with violence and bondage.
But something happened to me over the years...an ideological change, a paradigm shift of thought. I woke up in the mid 1990's and I found myself with the same ideals my father had about his country. I fell in love with where I live and what it stands for. Maybe it was watching my children growing up and wanting better for them or Maybe it was watching CNN during the first Gulf war knowing my brother was in a tank somewhere inside Iraq... or maybe it was the day I sent my youngest son off to the Marines for safe keeping. Maybe it was coming to have faith in Christ. But something definitely changed within me. Maybe it was turning off the TV for a moment and allowing God to speak to me without all the static.
I joined Free Republic over a year ago at the request of a friend. And today I watched a video clip of the VVAW throwing their medals. I must have watched it 6 times. It was this clip that prompted me to write this piece. After so many years I wonder if it would really make any difference to the men and women who served our country by going to Viet nam, if I were to say.. from the bottom of my heart...that I AM SO SORRY for not giving you the Honor you so richly deserve. I am sorry for the indifference I showed you when you returned...of turning my eyes and closing my ears.. when I heard a derogatory remark aimed at you. Would it make a difference if I told you that I am proud of the service you gave to us on behalf of our freedom..that I appreciate your sacrifices and the blood shed for the freedom we all share today. It is 30 years late but I couldn't let another day pass with writing these thoughts down.Please Forgive Me.....
BTTT
Thanks for the reply!
Ding ding ding ding ding we have a winner.
Who is "she"?
* bump * -- your post is worth rereading in total.
There are many good posts in this thread, and I agree with your sentiments. Set the record straight regarding our honorable (but politically aborted) action in Vietnam. The public needs to apologize for its ugly treatement of Vietnam veterans. And we must be vigilant so as to NEVER make the same mistake.
Thank you for your service, HamiltonJay. I was 18 in 1973, with a lottery number of 55. Nixon ended the draft, and I went to engineering college. I would, and will, serve this country and the ideals represented in its Constitution to the best of my ability. Freedom is not free.
Why do you need to know who "she" is? I sent here a email about the post and I would think she has been reading it.
And your question sounds demanding.
All the credit goes to you guys, though. You make us all proud to live in this great country.
God bless you.
You posted something written by a FReeper, something that was, per your story, sent to you by another FReeper.
Normally in FR, the names of the authors of all essays, blogs, news stories, etc. that are posted get listed, why not here?
I would love to address my comments directly to the author.
But I would be willing to overlook that as the excesses of youth.
And the ASS**les I hope she ignores.
she must!
As it says in th ebeginning, this was posted in something I posted on FR. I did not write this.
but here are some things I have posted if you would like to find out what I am about.
I have been researching John Kerry and VVAW and the FBI files.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1200373/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1199050/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1198088/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1200846/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1200950/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1201299/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1193146/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1192084/posts
I will send her your request. As I said she posted it in an article that I posted in yesterday or the day before.
Actually, I am pretty sure this is not the proper place to post this. What makes you think it might be?
I guess you were luckier than some.I wasn't raised in an abusive family, that is certain.
Politically, my Dad and I are on opposites sides of the fence.
He is a Democrat and I vote straight GOP.
I also was a Dme. and I was 4F, I had friends who went and never came back, came back wounded, came back differant. But I stood by them and one I have knonw since I was 14.
I can tell you its an absolute miracle that I survived my leftie family. Pray hard for these poor unfortunates. I have a cousin that hates Castro because he thinks he's not a big enough commie.GO figure.
I was blessed with wonderful loving parents who used ther love, and not their fists to guide me, and in spite of that, I rebelled...it's in the nature of youth to do so.
I'm glad that you were able to take all the bricks life flung at you, and make a solid foundation with them, stand on that fgoundation now, and you will never lose sight of the things that are truly important in your life.
May God continue to bless you and keep you in the shadow of His wing.
I saw your comment after I questioned the thread.
Please welcome your friend. It takes alot to say that.
WOW! YOu've been busy. I will look over your posts.
Pray Kerry doesn't get elected. He's worse than Clinton all over again.
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