I'm so stupid, I signed up and got the Zot.

[hk409]

THIS SITE IS ZOT!

GIMME A BRAKE ALREADY! YOU GUYS MUST BE THE BIGEST MORONS ON THE WORLD! THE BIGEST MORONS NEXT TO THAT SOFTWARE COMPANY I USED TO VISIT SIX YEARS AGO! OY YOY! YOY! YOY! YOY! YOY! YOY! YOY! YOY! EACH TIME I TRYED TO POST SOMETHING NO MATTER HOW SMART! NO MATTER HOW CONSERVATIVE! EVEN IF I BEND OVER BACK AND DO BACK FLIPS AND THEN BEND OVER FOR THAT DUMB LIBERAL WE UNFORTUNATELY ELECTED! EVEN IF SPELL CHECKER ARE WORKING I STILL GET THEN KICKED OFF!! THEN ZOTTED!! WHY? IS IT JUST BECAUSE I WRITE SO BRILLIANT? BOB RUNS THINGS HERE!? OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. OKAY. MAEYBE PEEPLE LIKE JJFATE AND NOAH HORSEFLY IS ASKING FOR IT BUT WHAT ABOUT ME!

[Genesis defender]

Ever since I read that you were an accounting major, I've wanted to ask this: what in the world do accountants write about in papers? Is it their favorite mathematical operation, like addition or differential equations?

And do you ever dream of sailing the wide accountant sea? :P (shameless Monty Python reference)

[tuliptree76]

Well, it depends on what kind of accountant is writing the papers. I've written papers on tax and accounting information systems stuff. Accountants just try to analyze some issue. Sometimes they give their opinions on the best way to do something - like flat taxes vs. the current tax system. In academia, they run experiments or collect data and analyze it. I haven't written a paper like that yet - haven't run an experiment. Although, I've had to learn how to do it.

Now that I've put everyone reading this to sleep...

(BTW - I'm not really familiar with Monty Python. I've seen a few shows, but that's about it.)

[NicknamedBob]

I don't ski insult women ... I'll just sit and watch the penguins mayhem.

[NicknamedBob]

(The Wide Accountancy...)

The world's most accurate Crimson Permanent Assurance script

---

NARRATOR:

In the bleak days of nineteen-eighty-three, as England languished in the doldrums of a ruinous monetarist policy, the good and loyal men of the Permanent Assurance Company-- a once-proud family firm, recently fallen in hard times-- strained under the yoke of their oppressive new corporate management.

Pushed beyond the bounds of decent and reasonable victimisation, the aged retainers take their destiny in their own hands and-- Mutiny!

And so, the Crimson Permanent Assurance was launched upon the high seas of international finance.

There it lay, the prize they sought, the richest jewel in the crown of the I.M.F.: a financial district swollen with multi-nationals, conglomerates, and fat, bloated merchant banks.

Hidden behind the faceless, towering canyons of glass, the world of high finance sat smug and self-satisfied as their future, in the shape of their past, slipped silently through the streets, returning to wreak a terrible revenge.

Adopting, adapting, and improving traditional business practises, the Permanent Assurance puts into motion an audacious and totally unsuspected takeover bid.

And so, heartened by their initial success, the desperate and reasonably violent men of the Permanent Assurance battled on... until, as the sun set slowly in the west, the outstanding return on their bold business venture became apparent: the once-proud financial giants lay in ruins, their assets stripped, their policies in tatters.

PIRATE:

Full speed ahead, Mr. Cohen!

CHORUS:

Up, up, up your premium. Up, up, up your premium.

PIRATE: [singing]

Scribble away!

CHORUS:

Up, up, up your premium.

PIRATE: [singing]

And balance the books.

CHORUS:

Up, up, up your premium.

PIRATE: [singing]

Scribble away!

CHORUS:

Up, up, up your premium.

PIRATE: [singing]

But manage the books.

CHORUS:

Up, up, up.

PIRATES: [singing]

It's fun to charter an accountant

And sail the wide accountancy,

To find, explore the funds offshore

And skirt the shoals of bankruptcy!

It can be manly in insurance.

We'll up your premium semi-annually.

It's all tax deductible.

We're fairly incorruptible,

We're sailing on the wide accountancy!

PIRATE: [singing]

Sail away!

CHORUS: [singing]

Up, up, up...

NARRATOR:

And so, they sailed off into the ledgers of history, one by one, the financial capitals of the world crumbling under the might of their business acumen,... or so it would have been... if certain modern theories concerning the shape of the world had not proved to be... disastrously wrong.

[Genesis defender]

I'm sorry if anyone was insulted! I don't want any ladies mad at me, especially those on FR.

[tuliptree76]

ROFLOL!

I think I found a tagline...

[tuliptree76]

I'm not mad.

[Genesis defender]

Please keep my grandmother and her family in your prayers. I just got word a few minutes ago (as of this writing) that my grandma just had a blood clot break off in her leg and head toward her lungs. She is currently undergoing chemotherapy for stomach and liver cancer, and she is about 84 years old. My mom is at the hospital now with her.

My grandma is a deeply spiritual person, and a Christian.

You may not hear from me for a few days, as I need to keep my phone line open for any news. Any posting would be from work on a post-and-run basis. I'll try to keep you all updated.

[NicknamedBob]

I certainly was not insulted, but I will defend your right to get pummeled by the gentler sex for any or no reason at all.

*NnB takes several steps back*

I will be behind you, brother.

[tuliptree76]

I'm sorry, GD. I'll keep her in my prayers.

[tuliptree76]

Prayer ping

[NicknamedBob]

Your grandmother, and all of your family are in my prayers.

Be of good cheer, and remember only good things as you think of her.

Worry is a useless pastime, but love can work miracles.

[Ros42]

Your grandmother and you/your family will all be in my prayers. God be with you and comfort you all, and may He watch over your grandmother and bring her back to good health.

[NicknamedBob]

Before I leave for the evening, I thought some of you might be interested in this paper, which to a degree supports my far-out suggestions, http://www.users.globalnet.co.uk/~mfogg/paper1.htm.

"Another way to warm Mars would be to increase its input of solar energy by reflecting light that passes the planet down to its surface. The use of orbiting mirrors to do this is a common suggestion in terraforming-related discussions (e.g. Oberg, 1981) and some outline designs have been published (Birch, 1992; Zubrin and McKay, 1993; Fogg 1995a).

Whilst all are necessarily large in size, none are unfeasible in principle and their masses are surprisingly modest. A mirror system specifically designed as part of a runaway greenhouse scenario was presented by Zubrin and McKay (1993).

By balancing gravitational and light pressure forces, they determined that a 125 km-diameter solar sail-mirror could be stationed 214,000 km behind Mars where it could illuminate the south pole with an additional ~ 27 TW. This should be sufficient to raise the polar temperature by ~ 5 K which, according to some models, should be sufficient for cap evaporation.

At first glance, the size of such a mirror and its mass (200,000 tons of aluminium) may appear too grandiose a concept to take seriously."

Keep in mind, I am recommending the encasement or strapping of the ice shipments with supporting amounts of aluminum as they are launched toward Mars. This aluminum could be used to make large orbital mirrors, or even spacecraft once it is in outer space. As Heinlein said, "Once you're in Earth orbit, you're halfway to anywhere!"

[Salvation]

Prayers for you and your family.

[WVNan]

Take comfort in knowing that your Grandmother is a Christian. She is ready for whatever comes now and she knows what to expect. May the Lord comfort you and your family.

[TXBSAFH]

Prayers sent from TX.

[GailA]

Father Lord we pray for this thy servant's healing, in the name of Jesus, amen.

[crabbie]

My prayers for your Grandmother's medical team that they can find the clots and dissolve them. My prayers for your grandmother that she sustains her strength, faith and peace to fight this situation. My praayers to your family that they remain steadfast in their faith that Our Lord is the ultimate Physician who has promised to heal us. I join with others on this site who claim this promise of healing for your grandmother.

[Tax-chick]

High - sorry to hear about your grandmother's health problems - wishing her the best!

I usually wrote about war in my papers in college, leading to regular conversations with my parents along the lines of, "But I thought your major was Accounting! Why are you taking "Historiographical Issues in 19th Century China"? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GRADUATE?!?"