Free Republic

SALEM, OR—To prepare for the influx of Thanksgiving rulebreakers, Oregon Governor Kate Brown has ordered all drug dealers to be freed from prison to make room for all the families who violate COVID restrictions. "Drugs are legal now anyway," said Governor Brown. "I hereby pardon all drug offenders currently doing time in Oregon prisons. I can do that right? Whatever -- I'm doing it. The real menaces to society are the families who try to gather with their loved ones to share food and give thanks. These violent science-deniers must be stopped!" According to sources, Oregon State Police have been...

Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) added more clarification to his surprising decision to bow out of the 2008 presidential race when he announced at the World Economic Forum Annual Meeting in Davos, Switzerland, that he was “king of the world.” “It doesn’t matter that American voters rejected me in 2004,” Kerry told a stunned audience at a plenary session on “Weevil Control in Less Developed Countries.” “It doesn’t matter that 53 percent of Americans disapprove of the job I’m doing as United States Senator. Because I’m king of the world.” Kerry said he knew he was king of the world when...