Free Republic

HDNet's Dan Rather, in a piece for the Huffington Post, apologized for his use of the word "watermelons" during a segment about Barack Obama's ability to pass health care, that was aired on the March 8 Chris Matthews Show. In his explanation Rather offers his Texas background as an excuse saying, "I used the analogy of selling watermelons by the side of the road. It's an expression that stretches to my boyhood roots in Southeast Texas" but then goes on to plead "I'm sorry people took offense." The following is the most relevant portion of the statement, from the...

"This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex...His lead is as thin as turnip soup...If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun...This race is shakier than cafeteria Jell-O....Smelling salts for all Democrats please...This race is as tight as the rusted lug nuts on a '55 Ford."

Not sure whether to wind a watch or bark at the moon, Dan Rather announced his resignation after 24 years as CBS anchor. With his credibility as thin as turnip soup, his legacy shakier than cafeteria Jell-O, and his fingernails beginning to sweat, Rather reached the point where he had his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire, and the bill collector at the door. After being consistently beaten like a rented mule in the ratings, CBS execs apparently decided they'd rather walk through a furnace in a gasoline suit than keep him in the anchor chair.

Dan Rather, the CBS anchor who is well past his sell-by date, was verging on losing it in the early morning hours of November 3. Ed Bradley had carried out a mathematical calculation that showed that George W. Bush needed only to obtain 15 per cent of Ohio’s absentee and provisional ballots to win the state and the presidency. A visibly upset Rather then came out with one of his famous Danisms--just because a chicken has wings, doesn’t mean it can fly. In a poignant comment, Bradley defended himself by saying that he wasn’t making the math up--the figures came...

Here is the video clip of Rather's infamous comment to Ed Bradley about the White House having used the blogosphere with great success during the campaign and speculating that it would now unleash this same sinister force to pressure Kerry to concede even though the network had not yet called Ohio.

I know I'm begging for this to get pulled from Breaking News, but I figure anyone online at this hour could use a laugh... The Top 40 Election Dan Ratherisms 40. "This thing is tighter than Joan River's face, and damn near as frightening." 39. "We're pumped here in the newsroom, like the sleep-deprived junkie who gave me these pills at the walk-in clinic." 38. "If I had a nickel for every one of those 19,000 rejected ballots, I'd be sitting at about 950 bucks right now." 37. "It's tighter than a prairie dog's butt in a dust bowl!"...