A real story out of Massachusetts. Yes, according to police, 34-year-old Alexander Marano was enjoying a refreshing Sunday morning au naturel on the Ludlow Mills Riverwalk when he allegedly spotted a man walking his 8-year-old pit bull. I'm not joking about this next part: Marano reportedly charged the pair, threatened the owner with a nonexistent shotgun, and proceeded to choke the dog. When officers arrived and located the fully naked suspect, Marano helpfully surrendered with his hands up. No weapon was found, but they did recover his clothes, watch, and wallet nearby. Even in a suspected drug-fueled or mental health...