Free Republic

PITTSBURGH -- It turns out the microwaved penis was a fake. A convenience store clerk in the Pittsburgh area was freaked out when she thought she had put a severed penis in the store's microwave oven. The clerk said a couple came into the store and asked her to heat up something for them. The clerk did and caught a glimpse of what she thought was a penis wrapped in paper towels. McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero said the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test....

A Romanian village was left deserted after its inhabitants fled in panic after mistaking disco lights in a nearby town for an alien invasion. Villagers in Cristinesti, eastern Romania, thought they were under attack by aliens when they saw bright, multicoloured lights in the sky and started leaving the village en masse.

<p>Pittsburgh Catholic Diocese officials have barred Central Catholic High School from participating in the WPIAL football playoffs because of allegations that players were aware that a sexual assault occurred in the school's locker room last summer but didn't come forward when asked for information.</p>