Free Republic

An unspeakable Eldritch horror from the depths of aeons and untouched by mortal creatures funneled her disapproval over Melania Trump’s snakeskin stilettos yesterday into an article for Vogue magazine.

'I do not know what happened... but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,' man tells courtIt may have been the work of a genie or a sorcerer or just that a Zimbabwean man is off his rocker, for he claims in court that he had hired a prostitute who during the night transformed into a donkey. He says that he is now "seriously in love" with the animal, state media said Wednesday. "I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the)...

Yes, everyone. You have heard me correctly. I have come to realize that casual sex with various women is sinful and wrong. It is lustful and lascivious, and I have decided that in my turn towards rightous living, that I must stop 'Hitting It'. Expect no more comments of 'I'd hit it'. Expect no more flirting with cute freeperettes. Expect no more comments about pretty women's pictures. Women have become more than sex objects to me. They are whole and wholesome Children of God, and I have come to the understanding that to treat them as amusement parks is degrading...

"An Illinois woman who was busted for threatening a cop with a sex toy is claiming self defense, saying the officer spooked her by walking into her bedroom. "Carolee Bildsten, 56, was arrested when police said she attacked an officer with a 'clear, rigid feminine pleasure device' in her apartment last November after he escorted her home while she was drunk."

FAIRFIELD, Ill. — A tip from the public led to the arrest of a Fairfield (Ill.) Community High School gym teacher on charges she had unlawful sexual contact with a student. Haven A. Kirkpatrick, 29, of Fairfield faces eight counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse — all felonies. If convicted, she faces between three and seven years in prison on each count. Kirkpatrick was taken into custody Wednesday afternoon at the home of her parents in Carmi and lodged in the White County Jail pending transfer to Wayne County. Circuit Judge Tim Neubauer set her bond at $100,000. The arrest...