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Someone posted a thread about a 'Dinosaur superhighway.' It got me thinking, and that's never going to turn out well. Imagine if dinosaurs drove cars and had those Burma Shave signs. ================================= No matter how hard You sweat and toil See, in the end You’ll become oil. BURMA SHAVE ================================= When it comes to rocks Don’t be annoyed Just watch out for That asteroid. BURMA SHAVE ================================= You may think yourself An apex creature, But no matter what, T.Rex will eat’chya. BURMA SHAVE =================================Your turn. 😂😮😁😉🤣😁😮😂😊😍

The 2006 FreeRepublic LexiconAKA "The Freepism, Freepology, Lingo, Dictionary, Terminology, Lore Handbook" A revised and condensed version of The Lexicon of FreeRepublic, culled from Lexicon of FreeRepublic - 4th Edition and Freeper Lingo Thread (the history and meening of 'Freepisms' including pictures). Thanks to the many Freepers who contributed! In this latest update, I have cut the emoticons and standard acronyms (LOL etc - which are readily available on the web and previous Lexicons) for the sake of brevity. I have attempted to include all definitions and histories provided to me and give credit to those who provided me the...

Dec. 11 (UPI) -- Officials in Bend, Ore., are asking residents to stop attaching googly eyes to the city's sculptures, despite support for the whimsical practice from some locals. The city's official account said on Instagram that the oversized plastic eyes attached to eight public art installations by unknown pranksters could end up costing Bend a lot of money. "While the googly eyes placed on the various art pieces around town might give you a chuckle, it costs money to remove them with care to not damage the art," the post said. "While we don't condone the wreaths, leis and...

He was having a senior moment. President Biden joked that he could not remember his name moments before he donned a red Donald Trump hat during a 9/11 commemoration event Wednesday. Biden, 81, made the crack at his own expense when he agreed to sign a presidential seal hat for a Trump supporter at an event honoring first responders in Shanksville, Pa., video footage shared on TikTok showed. @kelseysimmers94 When your pap gets biden to wear a trump hat 🤣🤣🤣 #maga ♬ original sound – Kelsey Simmers “Do you remember your name?” the Trump fan — an older man in...

Star Wars actor Mark Hamill mocked former President Donald Trump during the first night of the Republican National Convention on Monday, joking about the ear bandage Trump was seen wearing over the wound he sustained following Saturday’s assassination attempt. Mark Hamill made the tasteless comment in an X post, describing the bandage as “ludicrously oversized.” He also suggested that the bandage was just for show, saying it was “apparently not needed prior to tonight.” 1st APPEARANCE of ludicrously oversized ear bandage, apparently not needed prior to tonight. 👂 pic.twitter.com/Fkc83h3jBN — Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) July 16, 2024

Hillary Clinton declined to give her backing to Joe Biden, and joked about ‘taking away grandpa’s keys’ at a private salon in NYC on Wednesday, sources said. Clinton faced a restless crowd of influential Democrats who want President Biden to leave the 2024 race Wednesday night — only for her to warn them it wouldn’t be that simple. Sources told Page Six the former secretary of state, 76, came armed with humor when she faced tough questions from the “somewhere between anxious and irate” gathering at the city home of venture capital exec Jacqueline Novogratz. “She made a joke [saying]...

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered." "I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered." The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their behind are interchangeable."

The #Oj jokes that got Norm fired from #NBC, if only he could of waited it out he'd be having a field day of the #news #Ojsimpson dead at #76

Have you ever heard of the old expression, “The left can’t meme?” Well, apparently TIME magazine is so broken with Trump Derangement Syndrome it can’t even figure out what a meme is. TIME railed against former President Donald Trump for posting on Truth Social what the leftist magazine described as a “new and bizarre campaign ad” of his “head tak[ing] the place of the moon and block[ing] out the sun in a nod to Monday’s solar eclipse.” Making it seem like the video was an actual campaign ad, the magazine continued: “It shows an image of the glowing sun as...

President Biden is facing brutal backlash for a quip about a Maui cadaver dog that went viral just hours into his disastrous visit to the site of the deadly wildfires — with critics blasting his ill-timed attempts at comic relief as “poor taste.” “You guys catch the boots out here? That’s a hot ground, man,” Biden, 80, joked while petting a cadaver dog, Dexter, and chatting with first responders in Lahaina in a video shared by self-proclaimed “news breaker” Greg Price on Monday evening. The president, who owns two German shepherds, turned to the media and gestured at the small...

A dark sense of humor doesn't make you a bad person—just a smart oneA man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy. “Magic beer,” the guy says. “Oh, yeah? What’s so magical about it?” Then the guy shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile. “Amazing!” the man says. “Lemme try some of that!” The man grabs the beer. He downs it, leaps off the roof—and plummets 15 stories to...

President Biden on Thursday jokingly warned Wagner Group boss Yevgeny Prigozhin to watch what he eats following a failed coup in Russia last month after Prigozhin briefly led a revolt with his private military. “If I were he, I’d be careful what I ate; I’d keep my eye on my menu,” Biden quipped at a news conference in Helsinki. Prigozhin’s whereabouts are currently unknown after his march on the Kremlin abruptly ended less than 24 hours after it began. Moscow earlier this week claimed that Prigozhin met with Russian President Vladimir Putin after the coup, which he viewed as treason.

Newport Mayor Dean Sawyer apologized and resigned Monday morning after spurring a public uproar and calls to step down for a yearslong series of hateful posts to a private police Facebook group, saying “My online persona has become too polarizing for me to continue.” “I now realize that some of my actions and my words have hurt people I love and care about,” Sawyer wrote in his resignation letter first shared with The Oregonian/OregonLive. “This is something that I take full responsibility for. I am sorry to everyone in this community and anyone hurt by my actions, directly or indirectly.”...

President Biden dusted off a cringeworthy joke about how “thin” the walls were at his childhood home while delivering a campaign-style speech in Westchester about the debt ceiling crisis. Biden, 80, was speaking Wednesday at SUNY Westchester Community College in Valhalla, New York, blasting Republicans in Congress for demanding spending cuts as a pre-condition to increasing the debt limit in a bid to stave off a potential US default. While discussing his middle-class roots, the president shared a well-worn vignette about growing up in a large family sharing a modest home in the suburbs of Claymont, Delaware.

White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre on Monday called for former Vice President Mike Pence to apologize for the jokes he made about Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg’s paternity leave and using postpartum depression as a “punchline.” Pence said that Buttigieg took “maternity” leave and everyone else got “postpartum depression” in his absence during the annual Gridiron dinner for journalists on Saturday in Washington.

Trans women competing in sports

Q: Where can single men over the age of 70 find younger women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keepbusy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you're done, you will have a place to live. Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible... Is that true? Where can it be found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ...." Q: How can you increase the...

What did people in the Middle Ages really find funny? It would seem that the same things have been found to be amusing right across the ages. Many of the riddles that the Medievals told have double entendre’s and the jokes are rude with references to sex and bodily functions. No one was exempt from being the target of a Medieval joke; stupid husbands, unfaithful wives, bishops, even royalty.A 'Hilarious' Compilation of Medieval Jokes and Humour!MedievalMadness | 195K subscribers296,201 views | September 2, 2022

President Joe Biden joked Wednesday during a White House speech with tribal nations he was worried his wife would leave him for an Indian reservation. The president recalled his wife First Lady Jill Biden traveled to a Cherokee school in Oklahoma and other Native American reservations since he became president. “She’s spent a lot of time at other reservations as well, I’m worried she’s not going to come home one of these days when she goes,” Biden said as the audience laughed. “You think I’m joking, I’m telling you,” he added. “If I hear more about the Navajos than I...

1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 6.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 7.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 8,What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 9.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 10.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 11.I invented a new word...