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1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 6.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 7.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 8,What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 9.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 10.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 11.I invented a new word...

1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 5.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 6.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 7.What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 8.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 9.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 10.I invented a new word...

One person was killed in an apparent alligator attack in South Carolina on Monday, officials said. The large alligator was spotted "near the edge of a pond" in Sun City Hilton Head, an adult-only community, "guarding what was believed to be a person," the Beaufort County Sheriff's Office said. Responders found the gator and a dead person, the sheriff's office said. The victim hasn't been identified. MORE: How to survive a gator attack: 'Fight like hell,' wildlife experts say Alligators are active during spring and summer, because when temperatures rise, their metabolism increases and they look for food, Melody Kilborn,...

Seventeen members of Congress got themselves ticketed for blocking traffic outside the Supreme Court building in Washington, in a protest against democracy. Staged, stereotyped and subject at most to a $50 fine, it was a ho-hum affair. But certain female (if we can still use that term) Congresspersons couldn’t resist pretending they were heroic civil rights demonstrators by faking being handcuffed by the police. Hilarity followed. And, hey, it takes a lot of hilarity to come away with the TWIP headline in a week when Joe Biden finally caught covid.

A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST...

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer. Why do melons have weddings? A They cantaloupe. How do you make a tissue dance? A You put a little boogie in it. Why did the photo go to jail? A It was framed. Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? A In case he got a hole in one. Why did the baby strawberry cry? A His parents were in a jam. Why did the scarecrow win an award? A He was outstanding in his field. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear? A 14 carrot gold....

A VISIT TO MYSTERIOUS MONUMENTS IN GEORGIA BRINGS STRANGE FEELINGS, STRANGER HISTORY We have to admit there's an unnerving sensation at those monoliths known as the "Georgia Guidestones." We visited them on Monday, and while at first they seemed innocuous (plus, at first glance, smaller perhaps than one might expect), an oppressive atmosphere soon enough envelopes one the longer one lingers surveyinging these stones that aren't so small or undaunting once one is at the base (and in the shadow) of them. Widely described as the most mysterious monuments in the United States, or as "America's Stonehenge," the guidestones were...

VIDEOInflation is no joke but it has inspired quite a few jokes lately. You have to laugh to keep from crying over an economy destroyed in just a few short months ever since January 2021.

xtreme temperatures and ongoing drought could cause the power grid to buckle across vast areas of the country this summer, potentially leading to electricity shortages and blackouts, a US power grid regulator said Wednesday. NERC, a regulating authority that oversees the health of the nation’s electrical infrastructure, says in its 2022 Summer Reliability Assessment that extreme temperatures and ongoing drought could cause the power grid to buckle. High temperatures, the agency warns, will cause the demand for electricity to rise. Meanwhile, drought conditions will lower the amount of power available to meet that demand. “Industry prepares its equipment and operators...

VIDEOYes, being the butt of jokes and laughed at for all eternity is probably even worse punishment than 5 months in jail for Jussie Smollett. Comedians will forever be grateful to Jussie for giving them an endless supply of joke material. Just the name "Jussie Smollett" can't help but induce smiles followed by laughter.

A kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came to present what they'd found, the first little boy the teacher called on walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard and sat back down. Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was. 'It's a period,' he replied. 'I can see that,' said the teacher, 'but what is so exciting about a period?' 'Darned if I know,' chirped the little boy...

(This thread used to appear periodically over the years and here it is again, original thread posted in comments)OK LADIES - LEARN THE RULES!!!!!!The Rules developed by National Fairness to Men Organization. This time like the "United States Constitution" these rules are developed by Men. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.These are our rules for all women to live by! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!Rules for Women to Live By1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,...

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu: You get what you deserve. What type of sandals do frogs wear? Open-toad!

Is this the week we got a clear sign that the Age of the Baby Boomer is over? Neil Young threw a fit, invoked his Baby Boomer Privilege Card, and demanded that Spotify cancel Joe Rogan, but instead Spotify borrowed from Lynyrd Skynyrd and said “we don’t need him around anyhow,” and promptly dropped Young. Heh. Now we get to needle Young, and see the self-inflicted damage done. Double-heh. (UPDATE: Oh no! Not Barry Manilow too? Let the meme sequels begin!)

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Male SELF EXAMINATION FOR ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE. ...It takes less than 15 seconds.. If you're male and around or over 60 yrs of age, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer's Test How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the blanks? 1. _ _NDOM 2. F_ _K 3. P_N_S 4. PU_S_ 5. S_X 6. BOO_S Answers: 1. RANDOM 2. FORK 3. PANTS 4. PULSE 5. SIX 6. BOOKS You got all 6 wrong...didn't you? The good news is: You do NOT have Alzheimer's. You're a pervert.

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An assist to aging🤔 The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54 The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57 The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41 The best soccer player in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60 And then.. Kentucky Fried Chicken inventor died at 94 Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88 Cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102 Hennessy inventor died at 98 The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake How did doctors come to...

It snowed last night ... we received about 2 inches of snow … so … 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - My feminist neighbor asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 – Then my feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest, saying it objectified women everywhere. 8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snowmen instead. 8:22 - The transgender man ... woman ... person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with...