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Funny Short Jokes
Bestlife ^ | 8/18/2022 | multiple

Posted on 08/18/2022 9:29:53 AM PDT by sodpoodle

1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 5.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 6.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 7.What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 8.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 9.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 10.I invented a new word today: Plagiarism. 11.What is sticky and brown? A stick! 12.How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it! 13.Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist! 14.How do you throw a space party? You planet! 15.Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one. 16.Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! 17.I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves! 18.Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer? 19.Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out! 20.Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw! 21.A plateau is the highest form of flattery. 22.I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it. 23.You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow. 24.What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! 25.You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

(Excerpt) Read more at bestlifeonline.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: everything; jokes
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More at the link enjoy
1 posted on 08/18/2022 9:29:53 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

🤣


2 posted on 08/18/2022 9:31:55 AM PDT by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: sodpoodle

3 posted on 08/18/2022 9:36:54 AM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me https://youtu.be/wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: sodpoodle

4 posted on 08/18/2022 9:39:05 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (We are already in a revolutionary period, and the Rule of Law means nothing. )
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To: sodpoodle

What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!
What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1.
Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I’m changing!
What do you call bears with no ears? B.
What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper!
Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food!
What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!
I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.
What is sticky and brown? A stick!
How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!
Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!
How do you throw a space party? You planet!
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I hate Russian dolls… they’re so full of themselves!
Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?
Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.


5 posted on 08/18/2022 9:40:14 AM PDT by plain talk
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To: plain talk; sodpoodle

Thanks.

I was just going to hit the abuse button on Sodpoodle.

8^)

5.56mm


6 posted on 08/18/2022 9:51:00 AM PDT by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho got to go.)
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To: plain talk

What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.

What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!

What is Forrest Gump’s password? 1Forrest1.

Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I’m changing!

What do you call bears with no ears? B.

What’s a foot long and slippery? A slipper!

Why do French people eat snails? They don’t like fast food!

What’s red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!

I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.

What is sticky and brown? A stick!

How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!

Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!

How do you throw a space party? You planet!

Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

I hate Russian dolls… they’re so full of themselves!

Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

Why did the gym close down? It just didn’t work out!

Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.

You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!

You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.


7 posted on 08/18/2022 9:51:16 AM PDT by TexasGator (ice )
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To: sodpoodle

“More at the link enjoy”

Seeing how bad the the posted are ... no thanks


8 posted on 08/18/2022 9:52:33 AM PDT by TexasGator (ice )
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To: sodpoodle

Love it.


9 posted on 08/18/2022 9:54:13 AM PDT by Fawn ("My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" Hosea 4:6)
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To: sodpoodle
4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

This joke works better for Canadians, where Smarties is a similar product to M&Ms. In the U.S., Smarties are an inexpensive roll of dextrose small disc-shaped candies in pastel colors. No chocolate.


10 posted on 08/18/2022 9:57:13 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana (What was 35% of the Rep. Party is now 85%. And it’s too late to turn back—Mac Stipanovich )
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To: Dr. Sivana
This joke works better for Canadians

That reminds me of a Canadian joke: Mounties

11 posted on 08/18/2022 10:00:12 AM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: plain talk

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too small to smoke.

Why is Snow White?
Mr White is her daddy.


12 posted on 08/18/2022 10:04:46 AM PDT by tflabo (Truth or tyranny )
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To: sodpoodle

Thanks for this thread.
With things the way they are lately we need it.

Not that I actually place corny jokes in my own posts.😇😁


13 posted on 08/18/2022 10:08:24 AM PDT by frank ballenger (You have summoned up a thundercloud. You're gonna hear from me. Anthem by Leonard Cohen)
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To: sodpoodle

A man asked his doctor during a routine examination, “Hey, Doc, what would I have to do to be able to live to be 100?”

The doctor said, “Well, you cannot smoke, you cannot drink alcohol and you cannot engage in sex.”

The man said, in disbelief, “Wow, really? Is that all I have to do to live to be 100?

The doctor said, “Well, no, but it sure will feel like 100 years.”


14 posted on 08/18/2022 10:09:42 AM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Land is simply a place I visit until I can return to the sea.)
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To: sodpoodle

lol


15 posted on 08/18/2022 10:13:23 AM PDT by Jane Austen (Neo-cons are liberal Democrats who love illegal aliens and war.)
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To: sodpoodle

lol


16 posted on 08/18/2022 10:13:23 AM PDT by Jane Austen (Neo-cons are liberal Democrats who love illegal aliens and war.)
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To: sodpoodle

What is the difference between boogers and broccoli? Little kids won’t eat broccoli!


17 posted on 08/18/2022 10:20:51 AM PDT by BOBWADE (WWG1WGA)
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To: sodpoodle

Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done.


18 posted on 08/18/2022 10:22:36 AM PDT by BOBWADE (WWG1WGA)
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To: TexasGator

What noise annoys a noisy oyster most? A noisy noise annoys a noisy oyster most.


19 posted on 08/18/2022 10:27:09 AM PDT by gitmo (If your theology doesn't become your biography, what good is it?)
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To: sodpoodle

Whatever form they came in...I enjoyed the laughs!!!

Hey, if anything else it’s an eye exercise for lines!!!

THANK YOU!!


20 posted on 08/18/2022 10:35:57 AM PDT by YouGoTexasGirl ( )
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