Posted on 09/26/2022 9:50:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle
1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 6.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 7.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 8,What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 9.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 10.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 11.I invented a new word today: Plagiarism. What is sticky and brown? A stick! How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it! Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist! How do you throw a space party? You planet! Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves! Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer? Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out! Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw! A plateau is the highest form of flattery. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it. You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
What do you with a dead Chemist? Barium.
Short jokes.
Robert Reich
Donna Shalala
Short joke:
I crashed into the back of a car at a light today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”
Cute ones. Thanks!
I sense knock-knock jokes are in the offing.
An Irishman walked out of a bar...
I could tell you a good chemistry joke...but all the good ones Argon
because everyone knows 7 ate 9
That's when Elephants are jumping out of trees.
Why are pygmies so short?
They went into the park between 1 and 3 pm.
..... you probably won't get it
That’s a good one. I’m sure it’s old as the period on my Periodic Table, but I’ve never heard it till now.
If I ever go to an event where Hillary Clinton is I’ll register as Benjamin “Ben” Ghazi and have that on my name tag.
The Royal Mail Post Office is being remamed the Charles III Post Office, or C3PO for short.
I’d tell you a Jim Jones joke but the punchline is too long.
What’s the difference between Courtney Love and a pro hockey player?
A pro hockey player showers after three periods.
What happened to #5?
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who worked out all of his problems with a slide ruler?
A noble effort nonetheless...
2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse!
3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1.
4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.
6.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing!
7.What do you call bears with no ears? B.
8,What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper!
9.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food!
10.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator!
11.I invented a new word today: Plagiarism.
What is sticky and brown? A stick!
How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it!
Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist!
How do you throw a space party? You planet!
Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves!
Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?
Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out!
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw!
A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!
You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
How do make words legible? You format them.
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