Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Short Jokes to Lighten the Load
BestLife ^ | 4/15/2021 | multiple

Posted on 09/26/2022 9:50:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle

1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats. 2.What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse! 3.What is Forrest Gump's password? 1Forrest1. 4.Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie. 6.What did one traffic light say to the other? Stop looking at me, I'm changing! 7.What do you call bears with no ears? B. 8,What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper! 9.Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food! 10.What's red and moves up and down? A tomato in an elevator! 11.I invented a new word today: Plagiarism. What is sticky and brown? A stick! How does a rabbi make coffee? Hebrews it! Rest in peace boiling water. You will be mist! How do you throw a space party? You planet! Want to hear a construction joke? Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one. Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves! Talk is cheap? Have you ever talked to a lawyer? Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out! Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw! A plateau is the highest form of flattery. I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it. You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick! You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: giggle; jokes
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-30 next last
add to the list;)
1 posted on 09/26/2022 9:50:11 AM PDT by sodpoodle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

What do you with a dead Chemist? Barium.


2 posted on 09/26/2022 9:57:10 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Short jokes.

Robert Reich

Donna Shalala


3 posted on 09/26/2022 10:00:29 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Short joke:

I crashed into the back of a car at a light today. A really short guy got out of it and said, “I’m not happy.” I said, “Well which one are you then?”


4 posted on 09/26/2022 10:02:32 AM PDT by Larry Lucido (Donate! Don't just post clickbait!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

Cute ones. Thanks!


5 posted on 09/26/2022 10:04:54 AM PDT by Rusty0604 (" When you can't make them see the light, make them feel the heat." -Ronald Reagan)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

I sense knock-knock jokes are in the offing.


6 posted on 09/26/2022 10:09:04 AM PDT by ryderann
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

An Irishman walked out of a bar...


7 posted on 09/26/2022 10:13:58 AM PDT by FlyingEagle
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

8 posted on 09/26/2022 10:22:14 AM PDT by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huskrrrr

I could tell you a good chemistry joke...but all the good ones Argon


9 posted on 09/26/2022 10:23:35 AM PDT by DannyTN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
Why was 6 so afraid of 7 ?

because everyone knows 7 ate 9

10 posted on 09/26/2022 10:25:04 AM PDT by KTM rider (, or how Ambassador Stevens was killed because he was about to testify before the UN council )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
Why can't you go into the park between 1 and 3pm?

That's when Elephants are jumping out of trees.

Why are pygmies so short?

They went into the park between 1 and 3 pm.

11 posted on 09/26/2022 10:25:05 AM PDT by DannyTN
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Magnum44
Want to hear a good COVID joke ?

..... you probably won't get it

12 posted on 09/26/2022 10:27:23 AM PDT by KTM rider (, or how Ambassador Stevens was killed because he was about to testify before the UN council )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: Huskrrrr

That’s a good one. I’m sure it’s old as the period on my Periodic Table, but I’ve never heard it till now.


13 posted on 09/26/2022 10:28:53 AM PDT by lee martell ( )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

If I ever go to an event where Hillary Clinton is I’ll register as Benjamin “Ben” Ghazi and have that on my name tag.

The Royal Mail Post Office is being remamed the Charles III Post Office, or C3PO for short.


14 posted on 09/26/2022 10:31:35 AM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

I’d tell you a Jim Jones joke but the punchline is too long.

What’s the difference between Courtney Love and a pro hockey player?
A pro hockey player showers after three periods.


15 posted on 09/26/2022 10:32:08 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle

What happened to #5?


16 posted on 09/26/2022 10:34:20 AM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Huskrrrr

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who worked out all of his problems with a slide ruler?


17 posted on 09/26/2022 10:34:46 AM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
We always think the moon is facing us but it's actually the backside. That's why they call it moon.

18 posted on 09/26/2022 10:37:13 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: lee martell

A noble effort nonetheless...


19 posted on 09/26/2022 10:43:25 AM PDT by Clutch Martin ("The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right." )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: sodpoodle
1.What kind of exercise do lazy people do?   Diddly-squats.

2.What do you call a pony with a cough?   A little horse!

3.What is Forrest Gump's password?   1Forrest1.

4.Why did the M&M go to school?   He wanted to be a Smartie.

6.What did one traffic light say to the other?   Stop looking at me, I'm changing!

7.What do you call bears with no ears?   B.

8,What's a foot long and slippery?   A slipper!

9.Why do French people eat snails?   They don't like fast food!

10.What's red and moves up and down?   A tomato in an elevator!

11.I invented a new word today:   Plagiarism.

What is sticky and brown?   A stick!

How does a rabbi make coffee?   Hebrews it!

Rest in peace boiling water.   You will be mist!

How do you throw a space party?   You planet!

Want to hear a construction joke?   Oh never mind, I'm still working on that one.

Why don't scientists trust atoms?   Because they make up everything!

I hate Russian dolls… they're so full of themselves!

Talk is cheap?   Have you ever talked to a lawyer?

Why did the gym close down?   It just didn't work out!

Two artists had an art contest.   It ended in a draw!

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

I have a fear of speed bumps.   But I am slowly getting over it.

You can only get spoiled milk from a pampered cow.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?   A stick!

You know what I saw today?   Everything I looked at.

How do make words legible?   You format them.

20 posted on 09/26/2022 10:46:02 AM PDT by higgmeister ( In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-30 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson