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Equal and Opposite Overreaction By James LileksFast food from McDonald’s on a table as the 2018 College Football Playoff National Champion Clemson Tigers are welcomed in the State Dining Room of the White House, January 14, 2019 (Joshua Roberts/Reuters) BuzzFeed bombshell: Unnamed sources say Donald Trump strangled a White House aide with a lamp cord last year, then sat next to the body for six hours, smearing himself with grease from McDonald’s wrappers, grunting softly, and occasionally taking a sip from a can of pre-mixed margarita.Reflexive Trump defenders: That’s ridiculous. Everyone knows the president doesn’t drink alcohol.Reflexive Trump attackers:...

The culture of the passengers? Don’t want to generalize; just quoting. The food is horrible. Expect Europeans blowing smoke everywhere. My entire suitcase and clothing at the end of the trip reeked of smoke. They rarely cleaned the deck so I personally slipped 4 times and saw 20 people slip. There are inadequate warnings in place by the pool to indicate that the floor is slippery. If you are elderly, this is a walking death trap. Nobody ever lines up and expect people to push you out of the way or bite your hand off while trying to get food...

My friend the Crazy Uke is a mortgage guy; he’s getting me another refi. Years ago - oh, decades - we sat up all night in the back booth of a college restaurant and argued politics; now we sit around the kitchen table of the house he helped us buy, sign endless forms and documents, then pour a drink and agree about politics. I changed. He didn’t. As the son of Ukrainian DPs, he had anti-Soviet and anti-statist ideas poured into his marrow as he grew up, and his accounts of his parents’ lives during the famine and the war...

Trek is often held up as a shining example of post-JFK liberal idealism, mainly because Kirk kissed Uhura. Supposedly this caused green gouts of bile to shoot out the ears of everyone below the Mason-Dixon line, because we just weren’t ready. Well, neither were Kirk and Uhura. The clinch was forced on them by lazy immortal Grecian-wannabees with telekinetic power, who amused themselves by testing the boundaries of the Network’s Standards and Practices regulations. Uruha even protested, somewhat — she confessed she had a little sneaker for the captain, but this moment lacked magic. Kirk understood, but he went along....

Interesting news about the immigration debate, eh? I understand they’ve crafted some sort of bill. Having read the whole thing, I feel compelled to offer some of the highlights: 6 (1) (D) Undocumented Xenonationals who have been in the country since noon March 16, 2004 (this language reflects a compromise between the hardline “AM” faction and moderates who wanted to extend the deadline to 4:57 PM) will have to report to a government office to announce they are departing. This is the HIMBG Provision, or the “Hello, I Must Be Going” provision. Immigrants will have to return to the Mexican...

[UPDATE 05/06/07: Dedicated to the Minneapolis Star Tribune.] *************************Dear Subscriber: According to our records, your 1957 subscription to The Claxon is scheduled to expire soon. Please don't let this happen! $2 per month will buy you the Quint-State area's leading newspaper, delivered each morning by one of our cheerful Junior Claxoneer news lads -- like 12-year old Claxon Carrier of the Year Skip Olbermaier! Each issue is packed with items of interest around our community - like: Goings-on at City Hall, including the controversial $0.0032 sales tax plan! Publisher Felton Beswick Jr. keeps you up-to-date on the Red Menace! The...

Oh, you poor, poor reader. You're busy. You want a laff. And what do you get? Economy-size downer: a columnist's sad farewell. Yes, 29 years after writing my first column for a Minneapolis paper, I'm writing my last. Three decades! That's a grand run. You can't blame it all on cronyism, union protection and incriminating photos. I credit your patience, and the general suspicion that I might be worth reading the next time, too. That's all we can ask. We're only as good as the next column, after all. And since there won't be a next column, well, whew: Pressure's...

Gosh. Well. Hi! How are you? I am fine, except that my email box exploded, so I may be unable to receive any offers for “Barnyard Fun” in the next 12 hours. I will fix the situation as soon as possible, since I’m sure the world of “Barnyard Fun” is a rich, constantly renewing environment, and I don’t want to miss out on any new forms of amusement. I still don’t know what “Barnyard Fun” is, anyway; should I bring the family? I do remember the barnyard at the farm, and wasn’t fun at all. We saw a decapitated chicken...

Let's see. Your circulation is crashing. The value of your paper has plummeted. Everyone in the industry recognizes that the the future is online, and most realize that the byline has become the brand and that writers with followings will be a crucial part of the rescue of the bottom line. So what does the Minneapolis Star Tribune do? I kid you not: They kill Lileks' column and send him to report news. Visit www.lileks.com for details. Imagine The New Yorker asking E.B. White to manage the restaurant listings. Envision the Los Angeles Times dropping Jim Murray from Sports and...

James Lileks and Hugh discuss why newspapers are broken and bleeding, and provide a little free advice on how to fix it HH: Joining me early this week because I’ll be in Simi Valley for the big debate on Thursday is James Lileks, he of the Minneapolis Star Tribune and of www.lileks.com. He got mad at me. I read that web entry about your dog. I mean, that’s terrible, James. JL: What did I say? I read that. I couldn’t figure out if you thought that I was describing your world… HH: That’s what I thought. I mean, that’s… JL:...

When it comes to Condi, 'Progressives' suspend normal decency By JAMES LILEKSWhen people say they're "speaking truth to power,'' you can assume they haven't had an original thought since the Beatles broke up. But that was how Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., characterized her interrogation of Condi Rice. While chastising the Bush administration for its plan to send more helpless American waifs into Iraq, Boxer said: "Who pays the price? I'm not going to pay a personal price. My kids are too old, and my grandchild is too young.'' These are pertinent details; ever since 9/11, analysts have insisted that the...

Danny DeVito's disgraceful performance on "The View." the clip shows him referring to the President in terms vulgar enough that they were bleeped out by ABC; what it doesn't show ...were his remarks about having sex with his wife on every surface in the Lincoln Bedroom. Discussing the episode on today's Hugh Hewitt show, the incredibly talented James Lileks made a very perceptive remark about DeVito's comments about the Lincoln Bedroom -- to the effect that DeVito was the type of person who couldn't bear to leave anything undebased. Absolutely true... people like Danny DeVito have always been with us....

NEWHOUSE NEWS SERVICE Clip and save, for this may come in handy: If you mock Islam with a drawing or a novel, you get riots and dead people. News of mishandled holy books yields riots and dead people. Insufficiently reverent short films by a Dutchman yields a dead person, specifically the Dutchman. Now we add this detail: Quoting medieval religious colloquies is a reasonable justification for burning churches, shooting a nun and holding up signs demanding that the pope convert to Islam or saw off his own head. (There have been reports of carpal tunnel syndrome among radical Islam's enforcers,...

NEWHOUSE NEWS SERVICE Recent times make perfect sense, if you're walking on your hands. Otherwise, it's all upside down. Last week was a perfect example. The Brits foiled a terror plot to blow up airplanes, and since it reminded us there are still suicidal maniacs around, it felt like bad news. Then the West struck a deal with Hezbollah and its paymasters, and it was regarded as a positive development. Peace in our time, and all that. It's a wonder they didn't pass out tiny collectible umbrellas from the Franklin Mint "Neville Chamberlain Collection" to solemnize the event. The cease-fire...

If the Democrats retake the House of Representatives, Rep. John Dingell, D-Mich., will be chairman of the Energy and Commerce Committee. They handle oil and stuff. Well, the guys with the oil will love this: "I don't take sides for or against Hezbollah or for or against Israel," said Dingell on a local TV show. Maybe he's onto something. After all, nothing works in the Middle East anymore; perhaps complete neutrality is the best of the options. But let's review them first. •The U.S. continues to support Israel. This is becoming difficult, since many important nations with well-dressed, urbane representatives...

A few people wrote to ask why I linked to that shallow cup of froth on the HuffPo the other day; not a few asked why I condemned this but not that, which was the condemnable thing of the week for some. Fine. Consider it condemned. I should just come up with an all-purpose graphic of myself with my lips cinched tighter than a chicken’s rectum, with the words IF YOU THINK I SHOULD CONDEMN IT THEN I PROBABLY DO, because I am not a great fan of high-octane bile delivered via firehose 24/7. As I have said before, to...

A few words on the Dubai Ports World imbroglio, written without pause or editing, which is probably just as well. Short version: the administration may have thought it was helping a Valuable Ally and probably a pal, end of story. But it plays like Bush defending eminent domain to condemn a neighborhood to build a mosque. I don’t make predictions, because – well, who cares? You either repeat the conventional wisdom and hide with the herd when you’re wrong, or buck the prevailing opinions and get a reputation as a “maverick” when you’re wrong, again. Works for some. But if...

Godwin’s Law says you’ve lost the argument the moment you invoke Hitler. Example: “I love my dog.” Response: “Well, so did Hitler.” Ergo you’re a Nazi. Godwinizing the debate should always be avoided, and no doubt eyes rolled when some commentators equated Hamas’ electoral victory with Hitler’s ascendance. Sure, they both have a thing about wiping out the Jews, but other than that, it’s just Godwinian over-simplification. One small problem: in the recent Palestinian elections, there was a candidate named . . . Hitler. And he won! As the New York Times put it: “The candidate's name is Jamal Abu...

Uh-oh. Lileks is ticked again. HH: I'm joined now by James Lileks. He is a columnist extraordinaire for the Newhouse News Service, Minneapolis Star Tribune, one of the most widely read internet sites in America, Lileks.com, author of many such books. And today, not a funny guy, though he normally is. James, what do you make of this week? JL: I've had it with a lot of them. And if this wasn't serious, I'd be sitting back laughing. But it's not something to laugh about. What we have here is every single cliche that the left has been hammering into...

In case you missed last week's truly big story: Prince Harry, one of those royal things of which the English are so unaccountably indulgent, showed up at a costume party wearing a swastika. Instant scandal! Why? Oh, some might find it a bit déclassé for the scion of the British Empire to lounge around dressed like Hitler's driver, but really. Please. Maybe he was dressed up as a good, decent party member. Just because someone was a Nazi doesn't mean they were bad, after all. Lots of ordinary people were Nazis; you want to demonize them all? I know they...