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A nubile young woman has just finished a shower and is toweling off when there is a knock at the door of her apartment. Who is it?" she calls out. Blind man, is the reply. She thinks It's a blind man, I'll see what he wants before I get dressed. After all, he can't see anything So she opens the door in the altogether. The fellow at the door says, Wow! you certainly have a beautiful body Where do you want your blinds?

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Ever left a passive-aggressive note to call out bad parking? Well, one man was so incensed that he went the extra mile, barricading the errant driver in with traffic cones, sandbags and even his own car. The dispute between the man and the driver took place at 44 Jalan Rabu on Tuesday (Jan 12) at about 7.31am, police confirmed. The man, who looked to be in his fifties, had gotten upset when he pulled up to the corner terrace unit and spotted a red car parked in front of it, an eyewitness told Lianhe Wanbao. "Coincidentally, the house opposite was...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—With Trump closing in on a record second impeachment in 4 years, he is now close to filling out his impeachment punch card that grants him a free sub sandwich of his choice in the Capitol Building cafe. "It's a little-known addition to Article II, Section 4 of the U.S. Constitution you may not have heard of," said Constitutional scholar Jenna Ellis. According to Ellis, the full section reads as follows: "The President, Vice President and all Civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high...

SHARE U.S.—For many conservative Christian homeschool families, there are dark times ahead because Biden is a socialist who sniffs people and wants to hurt God. To prepare for the next four dangerous years, many large families are adding armor plating and Gatling guns to their 15 passenger club vans. "Now that the mainstream media has labeled us 'dangerous insurrectionists,' it might get a little hairy out there," said local homeschooling dad Travis Bulldoogie. "This 2-inch steel plating and minigun should do a good job of protecting us on our trips to the museum and public library." Biden and Kamala Harris...

It was only a matter of time before the anti-art Woke Nazis targeted Cobra Kai for annihilation. After all, this is what these monsters do: target everything we all love, everything universal so that it becomes divisive. As I’ll explain in detail below, these attacks on Cobra Kai for being too white have nothing to do with “diversity.” The real goal is to keep us as divided as possible by stringing partisan tripwires through every possible walk of life.

NFL LIVE THREAD Divisional PlayoffsHere are all the games you shouldn't watch this week!Sat Los Angeles Rams at Green Bay Baltimore at Buffalo Sun Cleveland at Kansas City Tampa Bay at New Orleans In Memoriam Danny Lee (BENDER2)

WILMINGTON, DE—President-elect Joe Biden gave a press briefing from the basement of his Wilmington mansion announcing that his incoming administration will be utilizing an innovative skin color chart to determine who is the priority in receiving their share of the $900 billion federal coronavirus aid package recently passed by Congress. “Our priority will be black, Latino, Asian, and Native American-owned small businesses, women-owned businesses,” Biden informed the nation. “We are sending out a new color chart to all agencies involved to make sure there is no malarkey with white males and those with melanin deficiencies cutting in from where we...

This is a great house, but the neighborhood has evolved into radical treason supporters. Be prepared to see trum p flags and signs flying for the next 20 years. If you're bent on violently destroying your country, this is a nice place for you to do it. Great if you have animals, too! $225,000 4751 Pious Ridge Rd Berkeley Springs, WV 25411 3 Beds, 2 Baths, 2,672 sqft

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President-Possibly-Elect Mike Pence has set out a bold agenda for his first 100 minutes in office, should Trump be removed. The Babylon Bee’s elite squadron of investigative journalists has obtained Pence’s handwritten, minute by minute breakdown of his plans:10:00 - Pardon and forgive Donald Trump. Remember scripture: “If a man attacks you, steals your tunic, incites a riot, causes supporters to call for your hanging, and makes everyone hate you... turn the other cheek.” After announcing pardon, try not to enjoy watching everyone’s head explode 10:08 to 10:15 - Apply hairspray 10:16 - Put casserole in oven for church potluck...

PALMETTO BAY (CBSMiami) – Residents of the usually quiet South Florida community of Palmetto Bay are buzzing after spotting one of their neighbors riding his military style tank down residential roads. Many were confused by the sight and wondered if it’s even allowed and apparently it is. The tanks belong to the person who lives on a gated property off Old Cutler Road. Despite the fact that the tank is legal, it’s too close for comfort for some neighbors. “For the most part it’s unusual to say the very least and with the present state of politics, it’s concerning,” said...

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WYOMING—It was a blistering 7 below zero this morning at Yellowstone National Park, but that didn’t seem to faze Buffalo Guy Jake Angeli, who was grazing on the vegetation. FBI agents were made aware earlier this week that Yellowstone is Angeli’s natural habitat, so they arrived on the scene this morning with a warrant for his arrest and their weapons drawn. “HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” shouted FBI agent Patrick Henderson as Angeli’s head emerged from the tall grass. “HANDS ON YOUR HEAD!” “You talking to me?” asked the Buffalo Guy with his mouth full. “Because these are clearly hooves, not...

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Congresspeople from both parties condemned the attack on the Capitol that occurred Wednesday, pointing out that they're the only criminals allowed in the building. Capitol police removed the unauthorized criminals from the Capitol Building, allowing the officially voted-in criminals to resume operations. "We would like to remind Americans that we are the only looters allowed in here," said Nancy Pelosi after order was restored to the House. "Remember, you must show your official congressperson identification to prove you're an approved looter to get in here. Unauthorized looters will be removed from Capitol grounds."

For the MATHEMATICALLY CHALLENGED... 1.) According to the 2018 US census there are an estimated 153 million registered voters. 2.) Total votes cast during the 2020 Presidential Election was 155 million (Trump 75m) (Biden 80m). ** This alone is a RED FLAG for voter fraud ** 3.) For the past few presidential elections the voter turnout hovers around 85%. 4.). Even if we use a 90% voter turnout, there would need to be at least 172 million registered voters. ...and no one is questioning this fact?!!!

U.S.—Donald Trump was permanently banned from Twitter today, being a crazy fringe extremist who also happens to be the president of the United States. But the ever-clever Trump, always known as the smartest man in the room, has managed to get back on the social network by disguising himself as one Chongald Xrump, PR specialist for the Chinese Communist Party. Trump is reportedly attempting to build a following by tweeting about how good Uighur concentration camps are and how nice the Chinese government is, since those things are not banned under Twitter's terms of service. Once he has enough followers,...

U.S.—Media outlets from coast to coast praised President Trump today after he accepted the results of the 2020 election in a relatively timely fashion. Even CNN pointed out that it took Trump way less time to accept the results than it has two-time failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. “You’ve got to give Trump credit here,” said Chris Cuomo during a segment of his popular show on CNN last night. “Sure, he might be literally the worst president we’ve ever seen, but at least he’s willing to accept a democratic election...UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE.” CNN then cut to an interview from last...

You know, it’s not that the crooks are always dumb crooks. Sometimes it just turns out that their victims are smarter or tougher than they are. Regardless, I didn’t realize that I was a collector of “crook failures” until our editor encouraged me to drag some stories up from the past. Here are three more tales that I got a kick out of—I hope that you enjoy them, too. The Bear Clerk The night clerk at this particular convenience store was a woman. Now, I’m not trying to body-shame her, so let’s just say that she was a rather...

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