Conservative Homeschool Families Prep For Next Four Years By Adding Armor Plating, Gatling Guns To 15-Passenger Vans

Babylon Bee ^ | 01/14/2021 | Babylon Bee

[BipolarBob]

SHARE U.S.—For many conservative Christian homeschool families, there are dark times ahead because Biden is a socialist who sniffs people and wants to hurt God. To prepare for the next four dangerous years, many large families are adding armor plating and Gatling guns to their 15 passenger club vans.

"Now that the mainstream media has labeled us 'dangerous insurrectionists,' it might get a little hairy out there," said local homeschooling dad Travis Bulldoogie. "This 2-inch steel plating and minigun should do a good job of protecting us on our trips to the museum and public library."

Biden and Kamala Harris have vowed to hunt down all the remaining Trump-supporting homeschool families until the country is cleansed of such dangerous insurrectionists.

The Bulldoogie family is looking forward to showing off their new van at Trump's first 2024 rally next month.

[BipolarBob]

[ConservativeInPA]

In all seriousness, that is a little bit of overkill. When I home schooled with just had a M2 machine gun mounted on the turret of the Yugo that we drove around.

[The_Media_never_lie]

I thought this was a satire site???

[aynrandfreak]

That’s like the truck from “Stripes”

[Spirochete]

When I home schooled with just had a M2 machine gun mounted on the turret of the Yugo that we drove around.

We mounted an M60 in the bed of our Sport Trac "Tachanka" and called it a day. That was deemed good enough.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

[redlegplanner]

one man’s satire, another one’s great idea.

[metmom]

Overkill?

Not these days.

[ConservativeInPA]

That works. Yeah, definite works. I bet the kids wanted to ride in the bed of your Sport Trac.

[ConservativeInPA]

Not these days.

I suppose it all depends on your neighborhood and where you are going. I'm not faulting anyone for having a minigun. Actually, I am envious. Our M2 is war surplus, but operable.

[The_Media_never_lie]

Lol, sounds like a real plan right now.

[CPT Clay]

Love it!!

[PIF]

What self-respecting kid would want a Soviet Maxim .30 cal machine gun

when a US made Ma Duce is so much more kid friendly

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Any port in a storm.

Or any gun in a foxhole.

[Mark]

I just put 911 on speed dial.

[Slyfox]

Love the grill.

[BipolarBob]

just had a M2 machine gun mounted on the turret of the Yugo that we drove around.

A turretted Yugo? That must have been a sight to see.

[PIF]

I don’t suppose you noticed it is a kid operating the M2?

[ConservativeInPA]

A turretted Yugo? That must have been a sight to see.

We didn't have much money back then and .50 cal ammo is expensive.

[ShadowAce]

I’m impressed. He can afford a stay-at-home wife (to homeschool), three kids, *and* a full size armored, equipped van.